For Straight Allies


What Is an Ally?

 

People are allies to the LGBT community for a variety of different reasons, and have different levels of comfort, experience, and knowledge about how heterosexism and homophobia affect both straight and LGBT people. There are many different ways to be an ally and numerous opportunities to become involved with the LGBT community at Princeton.

 

How Can I Be an Ally?

 

Staff and Faculty can attend the annual Ally Project Training, typically held in the Spring semester. Members of the Ally Project display a supportive sign in their office. Contact the LGBT Task Force or the LGBT Center for more information.

 

Students can get involved with the student Ally Project by contacting the Pride Alliance Ally Chair.

 

You can also be a strong ally in your everyday life. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Understand your own feelings around LGBT issues
  • Understand why you feel it is important to be an ally
  • Understand how heterosexism and homophobia affect both LGBT people and straight people
  • Understand your socialization, prejudices, and privileges
  • Learn about gay pride signs and symbols
  • Read LGBT newspapers, magazines, and books
  • Go see or rent LGBT-themed movies
  • Talk with friends informally and openly about LGBT events or issues in the news, on TV shows, and in movies
  • Critically consider media presentations of LGBT issues and call, email, or write the appropriate parties with complaints, suggestions, or praise
  • Use inclusive language like "partner" or "date"
  • Don't "out" people unless given permission to do so
  • Don't make assumptions, and ask about things you don't understand
  • Risk discomfort, and take risks to learn and grow as a person
  • Remember that there are people in your halls, classes, clubs, and jobs who are LGBT
  • Assume that closeted people in your halls, classes, clubs, and jobs are wondering how safe that environment is for them
  • Talk with and learn from LGBT friends, classmates, and colleagues
  • Say the words gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender out loud!
  • Interrupt, confront, or react to heterosexist or homophobic jokes, slurs, comments, or assumptions--this can be done privately or publicly
  • Provide support to LGBT individuals who are targeted or subjects of heterosexist or homophobic jokes, slurs, comments, or assumptions--this can be done publicly or privately
  • Provide correct information when you hear myths and misperceptions about LGBT people
  • Attend LGBT events, meeting, and programs on campus
  • Attend Pride Week and Awareness Week events
  • Become an officer in the Pride Alliance or Queer Graduate Caucus
  • Become an officer in the LGBT Task Force
  • Become an LGBT Peer Educator
  • Learn about The LGBT Center, its services, and programs
  • Visit the LGBT Center and the LGBT Lending Library in The Frist Campus Center, Room 246
  • Join the LGBT listserv
  • Participate in Lavendar Graduation
  • Post an Ally sticker on your whiteboard, in your room, or next to your door (can be picked up in the LGBT Center or from the Pride Alliance)
  • Wear an Ally or Pride button on your backpack (can be picked up in the LGBT Center or from the Pride Alliance)
  • Have clubs to which you belong sponsor or co-sponsor LGBT or LGBT-friendly activities or events
  • Take a class dealing with LGBT issues
  • Sign a petition
  • Go to the New York City or Philadelphia pride parades
  • Participate in an AIDS Walk
  • Vote pro-LGBT

This information was adapted from the NYU Office of LGBT Student Services.

 

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What Are Heterosexism and Homophobia?

 

Heterosexism is the system by which heterosexuality is the assumed norm.

 

Homophobia is the fear and/or hatred of homosexual people or behaviors.

 

 

Examples of Homophobia and Heterosexism

  • Interacting with a gay man and thinking only of his sexuality, rather than seeing him as a whole, complex person.
  • Changing your seat at a meeting or event because a LGBT person is in the chair next to you.
  • Assuming that everyone you meet is heterosexual.
  • Not confronting a queer joke for fear of being identified as an LGBT person.
  • Being afraid to show physical affection to someone of the same sex as you.
  • Being careful about the kind of clothing you wear or your mannerisms so that you don't have a "certain look."
  • Assuming that if an LGBT person of the same sex as you shows friendliness towards you, she or he is making a sexual advance.
  • Not asking about your LGBT co-worker's partner, although you regularly ask about your heterosexual co-worker's spouse.
  • Reacting negatively to public displays of affection between gay men and lesbians, but accepting the same displays from heterosexual couples.
  • Feeling that LGBT people are too outspoken about their rights.

Some examples taken from the University of Minnesota, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender (GLBT) Programs Office: Detrimental Effects of Heterosexism and Homophobia on LGBT People

 

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