What the Chupacabra means to me


          What el Chupacabra means to me:

          The life of a Puerto Rican exile in Princeton is full of tediousness, and recently, enough cold to freeze all your body parts. There are solitary moments when withdrawal from EL VOCERO addiction makes me contemplate jumping off a penthouse and making a splash the size of Manhattan or trying to clean the Jersey shore by licking up all the toxic waste with my tongue.

          Yet one thing has kept me going through this living hell. IT has never quite been categorized...it could be an animal, an extraterrestrial or a former patient from Rossello's med school days seeking revenge. Boricuas all over the world know it as

          EL CHUPACABRA.

          I consider Chupi, as I call him, the essence of Puerto Rico. He has a label yet is impossible to define (kind of like the Commonwealth). Just like el pueblo,he manages to survive despite clownish, inept politicians such as Chemo who try to take advantage of his gentle, goatsucking nature. Like most of us who drive the island's spacious highways and roads, el Chupacabra is daring enough to break the law but smart enough not to get caught. And just like us, he never, ever sucks the blood out of little children or other defenseless human beings.

          When I daydream about Chupi I picture him (I do not consider Chupi an it) pleasently strolling around the island's beautiful hills, taking in the countryside while looking for a place to have some fast food. He lives the ideal life of the jibaro, in harmony with nature and very fond of his animals. A significant reason we are so obsessed with the concept of Chupacabra is that we WANT to be like him, but we are too caught up in the daily grind of our workaholic consummerism. Which one of us would not love to strip a chicken bare, and meterle el diente raw instead of eating at some bastion of American cultural imperialism such as Kentucky Fried Chicken? El Chupacabra appeals to that atavistic, primitive portion of our psyche that longs for the old days of climbing among trees and hunting for bananas.

          Chupi also appeals to the child in every one of us. We all had that imaginary best friend who shared our tears when other little boys kicked sand in our faces and when even the ugly girls would make fun of us. Chupi has shared many of my problems here at the university, he has been like a father, mother, brother, girlfriend, dog and best friend all mixed together. He reminds me of the monster under the bed to whom I would sneak cookies and other treats when my parents went to sleep.

          Oh, and sex.There is also, as in everything in Puerto Rican folklore, a sexual connotation ("doble sentido") to the phenomenon. How more obvious can it get? CHUPA! Yes...suck! Cabra...we all know a word that resembles this one that applies to most of us (CABRON). Asi que, empieza a chupar, cabra! (or cabron as the case may be).

          by Carlos Rivas 96


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