Legal Statement
Subsistence of Copyright. The central web page and all subsidiary web pages are copyrighted by the Graduate Mafia Brotherhood of Princeton University. We grant full permission for the playing of this game and for the playing of any variations listed herein, and for the playing of any variations not listed herein, and for the varying of such variations, whether listed herein or thereout. The Graduate Mafia Brotherhood grants permission for the reproduction and redistribution of these pages, provided that (a) They are reproduced or redistributed in whole or in part, but not both, and (b) Suitable credit is given to the Graduate Mafia Brotherhood, unless you have a really good excuse, or a particularly funny one, which you may e-mail to us.
Use of Name. The Graduate Mafia Brotherhood of Princeton University also reserves to itself and its assigned deputies, subsidiaries, delegates, members, officers, lawyers, friends, Romans, countrymen, proxies, plenipotentiaries, and other sycophants, the use of the name "Graduate Mafia Brotherhood" and its three subsidiary parts: "Graduate", "Mafia", and "Brotherhood". The Graduate Mafia Brother hood grants permission for the use of the word "Graduate" to any procrastinator, "Brotherhood" to any brotherhood, or sisterhood, or other peoplehood of any nature, and "Mafia" to any law-abiding group of people.
Important Note: We reserve the right to prosecute anyone who uses the name "Mafia" for illegal purposes or as a name for an organization indulging in illegal activities.
Non-Discrimination Statement. We have been advised by our lawyers and sycophants to state the following explicitly. If you do not like explicit statements, please do not read on. The following statement is very explicit, and even uses the word "sex". You have been warned.
The Graduate Mafia Brotherhood of Princeton University is, despite its name, open to membership to members of either sex, although the officers reserve the right to expel, suspend, or secretly murder anyone who is (a) disruptive, (b) cheating, or (c) a lawyer or sycophant. (That last part was ours. Hee Hee.)
Disclaimer of Warranty. In some states, you may have specific rights granted to you by law covering the reading of this web page. In that case, you've got a lot more than we do, and we'd like to get together with you to sue someone. Please contact us. Otherwise, the Graduate Mafia Brotherhood of Princeton University disclaims any responsibility for:
- Gross factual errors found in these pages;
- Slight misstatements and exaggerations;
- Blatant lies;
- Any injuries incurred while playing this game, including, but not limited to:
- Papercuts from cheap playing cards;
- Flesh wounds from overenthusiastic players;
- Eye strain from reading the legal fine-print
- Arguments started between players;
- Encouraging murder;
- Anything associated with Monica Lewinsky;
- Possession of weapons of mass destruction;
- Angering the real Mafia and ending up sleeping with the fishes.
The Graduate Mafia Brotherhood will not be legally or otherwise responsible for any of the things, especially if we actually caused them.
These pages come without any warranty, either expressed or implied, or impressed or explied, or in any way explained. We have no money, so please don't sue us.
Limitations of Use. You must be 21 years of age to read this document. In fact, we would encourage you to wait until you're 23 or 24, because there's really nothing interesting here and you shouldn't be squandering your youth. You'll look back on these days as the best in your life, sonny. In our day, we had to walk six miles in the driving snow just to play cards. Now, you can drive six miles, but you still can't do it in the walking snow, which shows you how little things have progressed over the last 70 years. Let this be a lesson to you.
While we're on the subject, what's wrong with the youth of America today? Do they want to play simple games, like stickball and hopscotch? No, they want to play Mafia and go around killing people. Typical.
Sorry. Back to the subject at hand, namely
Limitations of Use. It is hazardous to your health to smoke cigarettes while reading this web page. It is also not a good idea to operate heavy machinery while reading this, or any other web page. It's also probably not a good idea to smoke cigarettes while operating heavy machinery, but, again, we're straying from the point.
Disclaimer of Statements. The statements expressed on this page do not necessarily represent the opinions of Princeton University, or the membership of the Graduate Mafia Brotherhood, or even of the officers of the Graduate Mafia Brotherhood. They're all my opinions, and you can't even find out who I am because I'm not going to sign this. The general point is that, if you read anything that offends you, and this is a key point which we cannot stress too much — if you read something that offends you, it is not our problem. Now go away.
The Graduate Mafia Brotherhood of Princeton University