nny: Wimp! Real men don't mind being thrown in prison without pants! * parr forbids elfkin to ever date Sephiroth. parrsneep, the savory flavoring that makes weird noises at you untill you boil it. <`nny_> izzat like catnip for parrs? oo, yeah. * parr goes crazy for the smell of parrsneep! * FatherDog gives parr a line of parrsnip on a small hand mirror. Fd: *SNORT* * parr drops the mirror and wiggles on the floor, occasionally biting a nearby extention cord or chair leg * Natwick beats up ED...with love... attention : Love tm, is a rather large baseball bat, not to be used on children over 5 This is Major Tom to Ground Control... I'm stepping through the door... <{Moogle}> This is Ground Control. Get back here with our sodding ship, you thieving scumbag. We're launching missiles. It was nice knowing you. <{Moogle}> Try to seek power and the power of the Dark Side will seek you. <{Moogle}> But then, you've already discovered this Oh, bah. Power is a tool, to be sought and used like any other tool. Do you expect to run into metaphysical predatory forces when seeking a shovel? Only in my back yard. =) Elf: Geographical proximity to Omni nonwithstanding. <^chris_> flora: you cannae praise the wyrm /too/ much....its called hedging your bets * HarlequinG puts on his headphones and sets his mp3s to a volume banned by the Geneva convention. *** Omnicynic changes topic to '"...with pulsating action that delivers satisfaction." -- Supersoaker commercial' *** HarlequinG has quit IRC (Quit: Micro$oft is my shepherd / I shall not stray / It leadeth me / Where I want to go today.) *** welfling changes topic to '"I may look like an Ewok but I'm all Wookie where it counts, baby."' *** the_fiend changes topic to '"as shakespeare once said, 'i only ever read books that are smaller than my codpiece.' thank you."' parr: http://www1.nexon.net/kingdom/ I don't think I would pay to play that. Or any other online community. Computers are enough of a time sink as it is, without paying money to do it Heh. So he doesn't actually die and arise from the grave as a walking, gay, corpse? Omni's quiet. Should we be concerned? Ria: Omni's often quiet. It's difficult to distinguish between "Omni quiet because he's plotting our deaths or worse" and "Omni quiet because he's gone to check the refridgerator." * AlexD wants stimulation. Alex: Get a detachable showerhead, then. <{Moogle2}> sdfgjklnsdfkfj! Moog: Are you trying to type with your head again? What was wrong with Timmy? He was always falling down wells and shit. <{Moogle2}> Timmy was an unpopular child, even with his parents <{Moogle2}> They moved to Old Mineshafton in Open Well county when he was 5 <{Moogle2}> Just to get the message across, they'd make him play blindfold hopscotch. The hanson liberation army. Freeing the youth of today from the burden of thought. * parr becomes a professional wrestler! No, not really. You did good, Father. clio: I did? Tell me when so I can not do it again? * parr dives into a big baptismal font and sings that favorite hymn of children, "Jesus, Wash my Skin Away" you know, this is totally off topic but my shirt is drenched in sweat. I don't know why. * parr shakes the shirt. "Where did this sweat come from? huh? huh? Have you been seeing other sweating people behind my back?" I'm all... sweaty. <{Moogle}> Glowing. I'm glowing? Chic: We're in Jersey. You're glowing slightly, but it's not very noticeable, because so is everything else. * AlexD has standards that are too high for someone who looks like he does. I should probably start with crack whores and work my way up. "I don't make a point of remembering all the Malks who name themselves after produce!" --CSThompson damn.. I shouldn't let him wander about my house unsupervised. He just whacked his head on a very sharp and nasty light fixture in the hall. * FatherDog will, sadly, assume that Isky means Tannon and not Joram. * Penn_Williams snogs Isky in very vocal ways * Jacob_Ladders snuggles Whisper. * Spyral sheds joyously. My what a loving bunch of interspecies cuddlesluts you all are. It's a wonder anything ever gets done. A social event? How...social. You have a stranglehold on the language, Omni. God lives in Jersey. So, anyone wanna get naked and sweaty? <{Moogle}> "I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen and clutter up her butter gutter, knock her upper over supper" I tend to associate spanking firm young girly bottom and blow jobs with good things. * AlexD shrugs. maybe that's just me, though. What's surface area of a sphere? some complicated equation that didn't win in the contest for attention with my geometry teacher's ass. Ok, fine. You describe me then, smart guy. :) Nette: You look like the missing Yankovich sister. * Arioch idly eats pizza, ignoring everyone elses needs. BJ: I blame the Internet. Not for any particular reason, but it seems to be the fashion nowadays. FD: funny, I blame the younger generation. I seem to be doing that more and more, there seem to be more of them than there were in my day. :-) Alex - remember, you're small. We could kill you by stepping on you :} gato: You'd have trouble killing a particularly robust gnat. I'd pay GREAT money to see her in Andorian makeup wearing fetish leathers. klingon sex is brutal <`Yukio> mmmm....klingon sex Ahhh... klingon sex. On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, I wonder why all of us are single? When I was a little kid I wished I was a boy because they got all the cool toys. When I was an adolescent I wished I was a guy so it was acceptable for me to like girls. Now I wish I were a man so I could be a queen. "She's sexy... she's evil... she's a dangerous secret agent from Bulgaria... The International parr of Mystery!" * Tannon would rather worship honour, courage, steadfastness, and conviction Tannon: Can you sacrifice goats to those? * Omnicynic of course, cannot be hurt by looks alone. Unless they involve death-ray laser eyebeams or something. "Dear Pandora: I'm a guy, and a virgin, and I'm 17. If I have sex with a girl, how good is the chance that I'll get her pregnant the first time if I don't use a condom? Can I still get an STD?" you know... "Read the Fucking FAQ" takes on a whole new meaning... * Ninja_Parr hefts the Spade of Morality high and clangs it down on Ninja_Parr 's head I don't know how to have fun. <{Moogle}> You know when you realise that you've been smiling for the past hour, hadn't noticed, and can't stop? Then you're having fun... <{Moogle}> ..or the place is filling up with Smilex <{Moogle}> Either way, it's a laugh, innit? fiend&Moo: Craig dumped me yesterday. <{Moogle}> I assume he had reasons other than "I've suddenly become blind and stupid"? Hentai: I think that different people seek different things in their women. * Cobrasnake wonders what Omni looks for snack: I don't think Omni looks for anything in particular, he just opens them up and browses. Are you and Tom back together then, clio. Ah, young love. Amho: I'm not with Tommy anymore. Ah, you and your hand. Young love. * gatolan figures something out. Is it that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is connected to the Illuminati, who are tied to the Freemasons, who have an alliance with Skull and Bones, who pilot the black helicopters, whose agenda is set by Kevin Bacon? * Emily_Nelfnoffen loves Nette, though from afar. * Nette_ uses telepathy to love Em ack * Emily_Nelfnoffen holds her head as it is filled with warm furry rodent love...:wink: Odin's first job, which lasted one day I think...was at some crapy resturant place. They told him to break up the ice, and he did so with his fists untill they were bloody - he thought this was cool. It was only years later he realized he was splling blood into other people's icey sodas. "and that's how I ghouled all of 45th street!" It seems to me, you're making so much noise you can't hear the weave of the world. "Never trust women. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." I guess they wouldn't trust anyone with the stigmata then, either parr: Would YOU want someone with stigmata doing your tax return? "I'm sorry, I can't read this; there's blood all over it." "Well EXCUSE me! I've just got STIGMATA over here, don't mind me." "Maybe you'd like someone a little less holy to do your taxes, huh?" Hopefully, by May, I'll be accepted by a grad school and defer my loans until I can think of a way to fake my death. 'cos Alex is a stone cold bitch. ;) * parr 's pupal sack whines to omni. "They're shredding the thin fabric of reality again! Make them stop!" -> [#malkavians] PING Hmmmm. Not lagged, so I must assume you're all just silently plotting behind my back. Tommy Lee Jones is a country boy from way back. He's tough as nails. Connery's just a psuedo-scot. "pseudo-scot?" That's rich coming from a Texan whose every third word is "dinnae" * Omnicynic jumps into the air and rezzes out, off to use his vast powers as a vampire lord against a few ordinary people who have no clue his kind exist. AKA, he has to take a piss. "The Accident: When a priceless carpet is permanently stained, its owner learns that only Jesus' blood can remove the stain of sin." Apparently transubstantiation works not only for wine, but also lemon Pledge. * {Moogle} blinks and staaaaaares at the cd player <{Moogle}> *spankum spankum* * FatherDog watches Moog spanking a piece of electronic equipment, and decides to go silently back to his lunch. hey, it's a small, independant film. it's about artistic expression, not about the crass, buisness as usua--hey? MONEY? YES! I prostitute my film! More! Pour the money right into my GAPING MAW!! They say that if you live with someone long enough you begin to exhibit certain characteristics of that person. yes, Ticktock has become quite intellegent. What is it about the name "clio" that is masculine? clio: Personally, that name makes me want to strip naked, cover myself in lard and animal skins, and eat raw meat. ED: Yeah, but everything makes you want to strip naked, cover yourself in lard and animal skins, and eat raw meat. Ed: Aww, you're just sayin' that. <{Moogle}> I /hope/ he's just saying that. If I see Tommy, I'll get physical attention and then we'll go to church. * Elfkin blinks a pair of luminous, violet eyes at altair. * FatherDog also blinks a pair of luminous, violet eyes at altair. There was a special at Eye-Mart today. * Maedeline sighs. She can't think of anything to say to turn Elf down, so she just kisses Elf's cheek and sits down to be elf's bitch for a while. <_TheThing> clio:what, the fact that one day we're going ot have a president who grew up watching teletubbies? Thing: Don't say that...your presidents' control nuclear devices...don't scare me like that...please. Oh, come now. Do you think the military will actually give the President a REAL button? The military may be single-minded, but when it comes to what they do, they know what's up. The Joint Chiefs of Staff will take one look at that sort of President and say "Give him the edible one." ED, get him real drunk, and take ALL his money playing poker :-) heh It's a she. And she's my cousin. ED: Get her real drunk, take all her money playing poker, and then sleep with her. You'll then have completed the Georgian co-ed triathlon. *** Natwick changes topic to 'Malkavian science corner : "Ever notice how rocks sink?" * Amaya always thought that Newt when she was dead on the autopsy table in Aliens 3 was damn sexy and always felt very dirty as a consequence 'maya: It's the gaping chest hole that gives her that 'je ne sais quoi'. Perry: DO NOT SUMMON HASTUR. We need you for playtesting. * welfling picks Moogle up and loves him and gives him an ass <{Moogle}> I believe we've already covered this, no? <{Moogle}> Everyone wants some Moogle lovin', deep down <{Moogle}> Deeeeeeeeeper the better On that note, I leave * {Moogle} chases ED out <{Moogle}> COME BACK HERE AND GET LOVIN' i need a tshirt that says in big neon pink on white fabric "choose eris." * AlexD tells Spyral how massive amounts of alcohol help babies to grow better. True. So do Camel unfiltered cigarettes. Alex: Rats, I don't have massive amounts of alcohol. Spy: Smoking has the same effect. But there's nothing better for prenatal growth than a heroin addiction. oh, look. A used one for 30 grand. Lovely Amho: It had better be made by someone who got called "Grasshopper" a hell of a lot. I don't mean to brag. And I don't mean to boast. But I'm intercontinental when I eat French Toast. <{Moogle}> Poetry <{Moogle}> No, wait <{Moogle}> Gibberish <{Moogle}> that's what I meant to say. Utter gibberish. We're making porn with parr and Elf. It's very dull, since they won't touch each other, OR remove their clothes. Alex: yeah, we just wanna sit and play playstation. parr: yeah, it's porn for very weird people. Now say "oh baby. oh baby." * parr points out the window at a stroller. "Oh! baby!" * parr ties some sticks together with string to make little symbols. She'll use obfuscate later tonight and leave them in the woods near campers. I choose you, Nyarlathotep! you know. Bigfoot doesn't really make much sense. <{Moogle}> yeah....after a couple of drinks, he starts talking the most incredible nonsense about UFOs and Psychic Advertising Broadcasters doesn't anyone in this town wear pants anymore?! don't tease me, Omni. Or you will feel my wrath. Right. I search for lyrics, I get the seven tenets of the Baha'i faith. Last time I use infoseek. * parr chews on the cat. Me? I'm a charming, devil may care fellow! Accepted in both high society and the lowest of working class tavernas! Swordsman! Gunslinger! Avowed enemy of tyranny! Chef! Art critic! Winemaker! Commander of the spider tank legions! Friend of the Old Ones! Writer! Human! * DerF angry! * FatherDog surprised! * FatherDog remember DerF use more adverbs before! * Lelio_Indigo is the sum product of history - all previous generations of human ity existed only to spawn him. He is the apothesis of humankind. So, er, nyah ny ah nyah-nyah nyaaah! * not_fiend wonders if it's the flu still in his body that is making him think of snapping a spine. Dante's her BOOOOYYYYFriend. No he's not. I'm almost positive he's gay. and that was eons ago...back when I was still fresh and squeeky. My OWN parenting strategies tend to be alcoholic victorian. And silence fell upon the room, killing six. you illuminati scum! you need a t-shirt that says "shift worker for the conspiracy." love binds, lust blinds, sex chafes. Vio: Your purity test score is over 90%; you don't count as having a gender. * parr rubs her face with some industrial strength stain remover. "Oh, yeah.... mmm." Nette: When do I get entertained? Alex: When the clowns arrive. I called for them! Or I could do an interpretive dance about being a toaster, would you like that? * Nette_ does her Toaster Dance. Plug in! Slide in the bread! Or pastry if you prefer! push dooooooown the lever! It gets warm! And warm! And warm! Hey! Don't stick that fork in there! And.... pop! Toast! Alex: It's a tough life, being your bitch. Oh. Bit of comedy. Malkavian in japan translates as Circle Turnip hello, hello. Hey! I'm on IRC! Thanks, notify! parr: Life is the ultimate game! Chaos: no, cause in life I cannot fly an X-wing. Whats the chinese/japanese word for foreign? Gaijin "Filthy round-eye" works, too. <{Moogle}> Says it all about Norse gods, doesn't it? Balder was Bright and Beautiful. So they threw spears at him for fun. <`nny> ack! i'm on the verge of falling into the arms of Morpheus and you want me to assume the role of somebody else? Hey, falling into the arms of Morpheus. i like that imagry. Only, are you gay? or just falling into his arms? Moog: You are a strange, strange man. <{Moogle}> I am not <{Moogle}> God told me so <{Moogle}> He says I'm one of the few normal people left <{Moogle}> When he tells me to, I send people to meet him. <{Moogle}> He usually tells me to send pretty young things. I think he's lonely. * Omnicynic runs a metre's worth of rebar through joe_monso. ouch... how did that get there? The rebar fairy must have brought it. <{Moogle2}> Don't make me kill you with my dim mak * {Moogle2} brings out his QVC-ordered dim-mak * Richard_McCart kills moogle with Dim Sum. FEAR sticky bun of death! * {Moogle} wishes Alex and Thing would just get it on soon and dispel all this damned sexual tension Star Wars is essentially a superhero game. Alex: Not that I've noticed. Not many of them fly, bounce blasters, throw speeders, or the like. do you read the pre-Episode I-VI novels and comics? they do everything BUT fly and shoot lightning from their dicks. "Lightning Rod! With his lightning... rod!" 'Cause I'm in Hell right now, and I can't come there. Ria: Good to see you finally calling the South by its proper name. * {Moogle} gnars at an annoying sharp pain behind his left eye. <{Moogle}> I need to stop rubbing ground glass into my brain. * Caffiend walks over to Moog and puts her hand in front of his face...puts her thum between her two fingers and runs off...."Gotcher nose!" * {Moogle} chases Caffiend with a spoon <{Moogle}> Getcher eyes! <{Moogle}> What is it with Ripley, eh? Tell me that. <{Moogle}> Why is it that whenever some serious alien-hunting needs to be done, it's best done in her underwear? * little_sister sing-songs...."Cut up the pixies...gonna get their suggggarrr" <{Moogle}> I'm running out of semen Oh great..... I mean, Cthulhu's fine but ...well... he's old... fine? FINE? the Fine Old Ones I think not Show some respect to your dread master! Do you want to play CoC? shrug. If you want me to play, I'll play. It's that sort of rabid enthusiasm this game needs. Omni...where is my Placenta ball, dammit! oooh....guinea pig...how I long for your forbidden pleasures... eradicating life requires nudity? When reality divides into shards before my eyes, shattering like a mirror broken, is it too much to ask that I be allowed then to "eep" softly? * the_fiend remembers his childhood in cairns and the many many corpses of fruit bats from powerlines. fiend: Your childhood was in cairns? You were raised by Garou? fiend: Were they Black Furies? They were, weren't they?! fiend was raised by lesbian werewolves! Actually, I just want to be beautiful. Since I'm unlikely to achieve it physically, and really don't care about that, I must make my life the stuff of legends. it is not forever. I intend to be in Boston before 2001. Back up north, where I belong Father! clio! JUST who I wanted to see! clio: I feel wanted and affirmed. You ftp site wouldn't happen to be up, would it? clio: Now I feel used and degraded. Father: As well you should! I am not. I'm a purveyor of singing penises. a BIG difference. icky. i have to clean my nipples soon What fun is being an evil communist dictator if you can't hump people's legs? * Josef_Stalin viciously humps Emily's leg. DA! DA! NYET! * Emily_Nelfnoffen growls.. * Emily_Nelfnoffen shoves peasants down Joe's throat until he is bloated with arms, legs and screaming faces pushing through his obscenely taut skin. Do Not Fucking Touch Me! * Emily_Nelfnoffen kicks the body and watches the skin split...and the bodies pour out. * Josef_Stalin looks at Emily and is SO turned on by this. * Emily_Nelfnoffen stomps on his erection. yum. Do it again, my babushka! * Emily_Nelfnoffen procedes to kick him in the groin hard enough for him to taste his own...ummm...stuff. In russian winter, we get very bored. Jimmy stomping is major pastime in gulag! Rub my nipples? you don't have any,...they are ripped and torn. You know how to talk to a dictator, my feisty farm wench! tell me how disgusting my internal organs are! DO IT! * Emily_Nelfnoffen covers Joe with flowers...singing softly of warm bright days. Ah, my babushka. You perform rough sex for me, now you soothe my troubled brow. You will be my wife, and together we shall rule all of Mother Russia! yes, let's...I have plans for those vast tracts of land. * Josef_Stalin viciously humps Emily's leg for a third time. * Emily_Nelfnoffen removes Joe's legs.. here...hump your own leg. * Josef_Stalin viciously humps his own leg. there...now to Rule Russia. I'm in my happy vanilla smelling place. where've you been keeping yourself? in my underpants, so as to avoid prosecution. "Pharaoh, let me people go!" "Never!" "Then taste red hot plasma, naughty gentile!" *** HarlequinG is now known as NotJackKerouac * NotJackKerouac gets himself a nice 9 to 5 job and tries not to make much of an impression on people. I'm a dainty square. * Nette_ sets plastic explosives under the couch, walks away whistling. Why is the couch beeping? It means God is calling. It's for you, Dog. Maybe it's backing up? I'm not returning God's calls. He just wants cheap sex again. * FatherDog is allergic to the South. * FatherDog is in Jersey, and like a hothouse flower, cannot last long outside its toxin-rich air. FatherDog: I like my mommy! there's high deutch, and there's bavarian deutch bavarian is basically the white trash of german "White Trash Illuminati." Controlling the government from their double-wide trailers. <^chris_> turns out i had a heretofore unknown blood-type, so i'm looking for a buyer...unfortunately they won't let me auction it on e-bay chris: Stolichnaya is not a blood type. this is the most pathetic human vs. vampire fight I've e're seen. "slap" "ow!" "crack" "ow! meanie!" I could show you a more pathetic one, if you want. I'll trot a CoC vampire out to fight Moogle's taxman. <{Moogle}> Feel the fury of the inland revenue * {Moogle} grimaces menacingly *** Topic is 'this heinous unlife/this anus unlife/angst angst angst/i wish I was dead' *** Set by Hagbutt on Tue Nov 16 19:34:13 * Ukolovik_Tile gives a Sparkling White Grape Jello enema to somebody. Anybody. EVERYBODY. I bring Sutekh's gift of death to the universe! ooh, People are strange! When you're a Malk-er! People act funny, no where to be found. Ventrue are haughty, when you're a Malk-er, Elysium's empty when you're around - when You're Malk! Tzims change the way that you walk! When you're Malk! Beautiful Torrys just gawk! When you're Malk! When you're....malk...do do do do... ED: Quiet, you. I have a cunning plan. What? Die? yeah, well, that's because you're my adorable bitch. snookums. Let us be like Achilles at the walls of Troy! Alex: Dead with a poisoned arrow in the heel? buddhadog: before that. * little_sister shoos all the breathing people out of her house and returns to you creatures of light. Happy abolitionofthedreadplanetZeist day, everyone. * Nette_ rolls her eyes at Dog. * FatherDog rolls Nette's eyes back to her, repeating what is possibly the oldest sight gag on this channel. Mmmmm... pork. <{Moogle}> mmmmmm...apples. Mmmm... roast Scotsman. Err, I mean, mmmmmm... mentos. Mentos: Das Freshmacher. * magicparrp bursts onto the scene with a canned laugh track, sure to lighten the mood of any chat room FD: As something akin to a voice of reason, I was wondering, do the coming election frighten you in any ways? I mean, I've been looking over some probable candidates and quite frankly, I'm scared? Nat: The fact that you view me as something akin to a voice of reason should make you far more frightened than any electoral candidates, really. See, all Americans really want at heart is a President that can bust a whiskey bottle upside the premier of China's head if he starts getting lippy. Given how long it's been since the last update, I think SPOA is currently standing for Sorry, Pardon Our Absence. FD: (your name is DAVE??? *incredulous*) Cobra: Actually it's "Lord Darkness Ravenfire DeathComesOnSwiftWings," but Dave is less conspicuous. * Emily_Nelfnoffen likes Tempe...but would find it dull rather soon. Arizona has hard water. <{Moogle}> those are rocks, dear <{Moogle}> Silly desert types You mean, that's why it's so gritty? No wonder I never feel clean. Spy: I thought that was a natural result of sleeping with Arioch. Superman is easy to hate as a character. There's just not much motivation in an unstoppable juggerrnaut. That's irony, that is. * ^chris_ plays hide-and-go-seek with the ineffable forces of the universe, they have to count to avvigadro's number before they can come find him, though Omni and Hentai are bouncing and Elf is demanding blood sacrifices and threatening horrible retribution. There's something terribly not right here. * FatherDog giggles. <{Moogle}> ????? <{Moogle}> FATHERDOG GIGGLES? * {Moogle} is stunned <{Moogle}> (miss 1D6 combat turns) * FatherDog does that occasionally. Admittedly, it usually only happens when he's holding a straight razor, but still... CLIO'S GOT RECTANGULAR BREASTS!!?!? Haggy:thanks. way down deep, you have a heart of formica How boring. haggy:would it be better if you could fly and fart fire? Hagmera is friend to all childern! * AlexD is filled with hatred. * {Moogle} is filled with jam Moogle: YOU WILL DIE THE DEATH OF A THousAND DYINGS, PUNY MAN-THING! THE GLORY OF THE GREAT OLD ONES IS... IS... GREAT!! life sucks... then you urinate and it all feels better. I suppose dying must be nice in a way. Last thoughts being something like "Well, I'm dying. Its all someone elses problem now." * the_fiend relaxes in the comfort of his room.... * DerF fails to relax in the discomfort of his study. <{Moogle}> I prefer to believe Peter Pan over any 'physics' or 'science' propaganda. * Cappadocius gives Elf more skittles. TASTE THE RAINBOW, DAMN YOU! did anybody read my short story? * FatherDog did. * FatherDog rather liked it. Father: you would ^_^ thanky! it was too dark for a parr. So I typed it while I was asleep. Problem solved! <{Moogle}> Anyone know their first word? <{Moogle}> apparently mine was 'boobs' <{Moogle}> We don't know why. I can guess. Penn: no, that's civil parr. This is street fighter parr. the parr where I gouge your eyes out, and then use the forked end of this crowbar to remove your happy bits. Ed: you know, if you kill one person, it makes a statement. if you kill 6 miilon, it makes a holocaust. Anything inbetween is just sorta a grey area. before, there was nothing. Now, I am recieving all of your messages *before you even type them.* bwa ha ha * parr makes a face which apromixates having someone kick you in the stomach. * EquusDeus kicks parr in the stomach. ((Ed, you're so helpfull)) * {Moogle} sexually interferes with a passing Jawa * parr smiles with a lot of teeth. "Yeah, baby. I'm crazy." How sleepy is one when one begins seriously considering the possibility that leprechauns have stolen one's talent? *** Tuxedo_Parr is now known as Tuxedo_Flask *hick* *glug* * Tuxedo_Flask pulls out a flask and takes a few sips. I am...*wobble* Tuxedo...*hick!* Flaaasshhhkkk. oooh the pretty little elepahnts...ohboy. * Tuxedo_Flask offers Chaos the flask, which smells like lighter fluid. Flask, have you been drinking butane again? You know...forget that sailor moon gall...she's too perky..now that...queen beryl she's got some gams! Y'know whatta mean?? Alllll day it's "Darien This" and "Tuxedo Mask That", no wonder I turned to the bottle... and when is she going to ever get that ()*%#)($* cat neutered?? <`nny> ooh. the searing kiss of hot lead. how i've missed you. i mean, i think i'm dying. * HarlequinG opens the door to the dollhouse for the tiny parr. * HarlequinG notes that it's a very NICE dollhouse, with nice little rugs and wallpaper and postage stamps for wall portraits. ((I was SERIOUSLY considering being twisted and either (a) mentioning the torture chamber upstairs (b) mentioning the room full of the bodies of my dead ex-wives (c) both, but I decided it's more fun to be cute.)) ((I know you were..and I'm proud of you. Now just don't mention the tentacled horror in the basment, and all will be sunny and groovy)) Do you have ANY idea how HARD it is to find a decent place to rest my head that is NOT infested by fire ants? <{Moogle}> Less talk, more smiting * {Moogle} pahs at subliminal suggestion * FatherDog pahs (give me money) at subliminal (give me money) suggestion. * {Moogle} goes off for a cool refreshing coke, passing his wallet to FatherDog on the way I'd hate you all, but it's no good for my blood pressure. Gordon from the Ninja Clan McKenzie. why does my head hurt so much? <{Moogle}> parrlamia- because your doorways are an inch too low I've been playing with technomagic for the longest time. My first experimental magical path was Traffic Magic. Ever drive you car to the moon? Omni: I THOUGHT so once, but upon waking up the next day with a pounding headache and a wrecked car, it turned out it was just Nevada. * HentaiDI boldly attempts to corner the market on goat-ass. ((Riahanna: Again and Again, Voted Most Useful Malk as a Weapon.)) * HarlequinG cannot contemplate Dog,s' navel, as he's under the sofa, bending chihuahuas into funny shapes. names, names... insignificant ticks on the back of identity. Net arguments go on forever. As opposed to Nette arguments, which last five minutes, then she gets distracted by a shiny object. ~/I say "You hate me", and you say "I love you" - I say "my life sucks", and you say "you're angsting"... "You hate me", "I love you", "my life sucks", " you're angsting", let's call the whole thing off!/~ Yes, Spicy Arteries; just one of the many blood-based recipies in my new book, Cooking With Omnicynic! <{Moogle}> Och, everyone's been in a few porn movies <{Moogle}> It's just one of those things you end up doing parr: Well, you might have been at Blockbuster and noticed the cover of the rarely rented, little known and oft-maligned cinema classic "Attack of the Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers: they charge an arm and a leg!" *** Topic is 'Inside each of us, there is a policeman who must be spanked.' *** Set by Richard_McCart on Fri Sep 25 22:18:18 *** Quits: Omni_Flux (Quit: Style. Sophistication. Tentacles.) Ah, that's right. People are happier living in little fantasy world of cotton candy and pleasurable experiences that they forget life is like Thunderlips, the Ultimate Male and is just /waiting/ to toss the Rocky of your soul into the crowd. "Where are my manners? Chad, this is your personal Demon. Demon, this is Chad. Well, I'll leave you two alone to start sinning, then." <{Moogle}> ..or not. I suddenly spot a fight about to break out between the Scooby Doo team and the Hellraiser Cenobites, and I have to see how this is shaping up... The Malkavians are easily startled, but they don't stay away long. <{Moogle}> Hah <{Moogle}> Try offering them a manual labour job MmmmMM! YES! FEED MORE! MORE OFFERINGS TO YOUR DARK PARR GOD! *scarf* *munch* *** Elfkin changes topic to 'I walk the path of righteousness. My life is one of enlightenment and fulfilment and with my beloved God guiding my hand, I shall cleanse these city streets.... with my great big knife.' What's Hellraiser about? <{Moogle}> The Rubik's cube from hell <{Moogle}> No, really <{Moogle}> My life story would make a good trash novel <{Moogle}> Totally unbelievable and sensational in all the wrong ways. True, though. Omnicynic: "I don't think that Palm Olive takes care of that." "but it's pine scented." "Pine scented evil hand?" "I don't know, I prefer my Evil unscented." <{Moogle}> Mussed sheets are the most annoying side effect of a hot sweaty monkey lovenest. * Omnicynic shakes a one-eyed snake out of his trousers. It slithers off into the night, probably to a bar somewhere. I was thinking of buying some of that stuff that makes you irresistable to the opposite sex gato: What, money? well.. Im a botanist.. What kind of plants did you plant, Moog? <{Moogle}> I told you, aggressive soft fruit <{Moogle}> Bananazai <{Moogle}> Resurrect, damn your thighs! <{Moogle}> Eyes <{Moogle}> Eyes...definitely eyes.... When do we get to the exploitational pornography? AH! MY BREASTS! This cheeseball is morepowerful than you!! It mocks you! My Garou name is Asshole-That-Walks-Like-A-Man. Death is death. Why spend life considering it? We'll know all about it soon enough. ((aww, look, omni's being snorky again! all the memories are flooding back...)) * parr makes a whiny, slightly sissy growl of frustration look, I can't just /avoid/ evil! I must seek it out and destroy it! I can program in nothing. I can turn out web pages at a slow speed. I can work up to 2 days a week at a buisness. I am...mostly useless woman! * EquusDeus cranks up some Tool and drowns out everything. * Sukaluski turns up the ska louder than ED's tool. <{Moogle}> Leave ED's Tool out of this <{Moogle}> It's an inoffensive weapon <{Moogle}> It's a feisty one <{Moogle}> But you know the biblical saying: <{Moogle}> "Feisty, schmeisty, kick it's bleeding head in" <{Moogle}> carDboard <{Moogle}> I hate it......it's so tough, but so tasty * Penn_Williams has died from lack of proper childcare. This is sad. I have nothing better to do with my time than to look at autopsy pictures. So ED...who're you voting for? Natty: Gore. ED: Why? I figure he's got "Gore" for a last name, he might kill people. MUST have Hello Kitty sanitary pads!!!! * EquusDeus blinks. My father just said "Computers have no honour" NO MORE STAR TREK FOR HIM! *** Quits: Ophelia^^ (Quit: And I told her that her breasts were like two bleeding lemons. She thought that was really beautiful.) *** Cappadocius changes topic to 'Woods nymphs sprinkle your path with bowling balls while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with leftover heads of lettuce.' * {Moogle} casts off his disguise and reveals himself as King Otto The Fucking Loopy * {Moogle} circles a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere and abducts livestock Whoa! Moogliens! You never told me you were an alien, moog. Although, come to think, the slitted eyes and wings probably should have given it away. GOTHS ARE DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD! -> [#malkavians] PING Ah. Better. <{Moogle}> Than? Than my previous degree of lag. Also better than a hot cactus up the ass, but that's neither here nor there. <{Moogle}> (Girl sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming 'Lies! Tell me lies! Great big whoppers!') Interesting fact: Did you know if you took a man's small intestine, and laid it out along a straight line, he would die? Say, parr, could you spare a moment or two to write interesting and fun translations of Nietzche? Omni: um...probably! however, it would have to be 'intresting and fun translations of Nietzche by someone that doesn't speak German"? parr: Now wash your mouth out. You know the rules. * parr grumbles at Omni, but then takes a bar of soap at the sink and washes her mouth out. * parr spits and rinses. "Hey omni, can't I just rip out my mouth and grow a new one?" * parr feels the need to compulsively wash welling up inside of her. * Omnicynic amuses himself by writing his views of the universe on a piece of paper, but is stopped by the paper's sudden suicide. He was, however, expecting this, which is why he wasn't writing it on the computer. * FatherDogWritingHisPhilosophyP pauses to read back a line from his paper. Joyful Wisdom is one of Nietzche's longest books, written in his middle period (i.e., after he had ceased writing traditional style philosophic texts, but before the syphilis had crossed the blood-brain barrier.) So you like interactive violence? Definitely. Take up boxing. Hagbutt: If CA had inter-gender boxing, I'm sure he would have by now. I'm just killing time until I die. Pig: Go ye forth, and flood mine channel with information pertaining to the noble sloth. life is short and there are too many cool things :) Iskander: I recommend tech support via superior firepower. Gothen's one of my more sinister "badguy" characters. Elf: Really? I thought Gothen was your prototype for a series of children's books. But if I were suave and sophisticated . . . I wouldn't be me. <{Moogle}> You'd be Hugh Hefner. i'd like to be hugh heffner all the swish parties you could destroy your liver with <{Moogle}> It's not his liver I'm worried about <{Moogle}> It's his back *** FatherDog changes topic to 'Anticipate nothing, it's what usually happens in here.' *** Topic is 'Parr: "Do you think it's right that people are fighting over you in Christ's name?" Furby says: "kah mee-mee noo-loo" Translation: "Me very happy"' goodness, Elf...when did you get so butch? FACE THE WRATH OF MY MIGHTY COMBAT TITS! "So give us some figgy pudding, oh give us some figgy pudding, i said give us some (#*$&(#*& figgy pudding, or you'l live to regret it!" FatherDog: I have temporally displaced exams. They will not exist for at least another month. Past that, who can say? * FatherDog roots for apathy. * FatherDog doesn't actually root, he just lays there, but it's the thought that counts. * _TheThing is a consumer, he buys for the strange endorphin rush he gets upon purchace Thing: Conform... conform... conform... Hello, Suzi. It's good you haven't been killed yet. You're so romantic, Omni. parrware! The programs that work usually, unless they're tired. parrware! The programs that crash your entire computer if you look at porn sites! furby says, "you die now." Rich: My ego became so large it collapsed in on itself an became a small black hole that sucks nearby egos into it's clutches, utterly destroying them. This isn't your bed. All couches are my bed. * Omnicynic of course, not being the typical civvie, makes heavy use of manportable missile systems. oh, Omni? * Emily_Nelfnoffen notes her birthday is coming up soon...*hint* *hint* Hmmm...PMS is spiffy... :) * Richard_McCart abducts Gaenisa's breasts * EquusDeus curses up a storm. * FatherDog curses up an umbrella and rain hat. Congratulations, people; we're all one year closer to dying and leaving this rock. Hoorah! Happy new year! Boogie down! Drink champagne! Throw infants at walls! <^chris_> every now and then, you can /feel/ the vodka moving in you...m mm....its like the wyrm * FatherDog introduces the man and his suit to your friend and mine, Mr. Meat Hook. * parr deletes mp3's without mercy * FatherDog writhes in sympathy pains as mp3's are shredded in the harsh, unforgiving envoirnment of parr's recycle bin. Isky, what should I be when I grow up? Older. If things weren't WRONG so often, I wouldn't have to criticise as much. *** Quits: Natwick (Quit: I bring you love....in the form of chewable chocolate mints. Enjoy! They're only slightly addictive.) Alex: other people have the name "Ian". parr: But I had it FIRST! Alex: don't lie to the parr, now. Satiating primal urges with packaged meat! that's me. * FatherDog stalks the wary leftover pizza over by his bed. * FatherDog POUNCES! Mmmmmm. Pepperoni. * djenjen curls up on Elfkin's eyes meant lap... meant lap sorry is this like whence thou went to powder thy tonsils, djenna? * AlexD grabs parr and turns her into a Nereid. * AlexD grabs jeanie and turns her into an oread. * AlexD hrms, grabs gato and turns her into a dryad. Alex: Is this meant to indicate that you're a nymphomaniac? I burn my candle at both ends. And the middle. You want Meat and the Arsehole song. I do not want the Arsehole song. Shut up and download the Arsehole song. *** Topic is 'There are no problems, only targets.' *** Set by ChaosMage * lil-jeanie does the lord of the dance dance on Elvis' lap * {Moogle} winces, looking at jeanie <{Moogle}> Bejeesus, you'll pulverise the Princes! * MrMistoffelees protects Perry from all the evil homosexuals of the world. * Elfkin just wants Saria =) Elf: PERVERT! Elf: She's TWELVE! NASTY PEDOPHILE, THE ELF IS! * Elfkin blinks. elf! i caught a little baby mouse in a mt dew case! help! EAT IT! EAT IT ALIVE! GAIN ITS POWERS! * FatherDog finds young girls with razors cute. It's a character flaw, he supposes. i need to claim someone in my tax filing, who wants to be PigJr? <^chris_> hrmm...well...i've discovered that i'm pretty apathetic to the suffering of others, so my day's been golden too <^chris_> so...moral dilema...is it okee to twitter with joy over the battle of stalingrad? <{Moogle}> yay Ocelots <^chris_> alex: you were s'pposed to come here! chris: With what? My magic flying powers? I don't drive, man. * AlexD is voting his ass into office. Who wants to help? * gatling points to Dog I didn't come up with you! You're my Void nightmare. Everything I don't want to be is embodied by you. Really? Neat. I haven't been told I'm everything that's wrong with the world in at least... * FatherDog thinks. A month. * Jacob_Ladders orders the deaths of millions. <{Moogle}> tch <{Moogle}> that's a bit naughty Ed: Yeah...A gay friend paid all my drinks while I talked romance with a virgin and a transexual and eventually wound up necking a neo-hippy...oh, and got offered a job by the gay guy and the highly sophisticated android we call the Top Monteur. * HarlequinG gets frustrated and opens up a Kentucky Fried Chocobo franchise. * FatherDog , of course, looks like Brad Pitt with a nine inch pecker, like everybody else on the Internet. Anyone who mentions me previously being butch gets a pointy boot up the ass. Chesh: Hrm, from butch to bitch in one easy step. Actually, you look much like a friend of mine. FD: I stole her body. Peace sells, but who's buying...*crunch cruncha power chord* * FatherDogWatchingKenshin fades off into the twinkling twilight of the early morn. im scared of people hating me, and of losing my eyesight. and of things that go bump in the night. and of confrontations, and splinters. * Wesley_Adam instructs Spyral in the art of lesbianism. <^jennie> You live a funky life, little parr but I don't usually tell you about that...it's a /sneaky/ prayer. Stealth Prayer techniques...Ninjitsu Petitions to Kami-Sama... <^jennie> Maybe I'm depressed because I want to be a biologist mabye you're depressed because a HUGE THUMB IS COMING DOWN OUT OF THE SKY AND PUSHING ON YOU....no wait. FD: Light is Death! everytime my mom finds me sitting in the dark, as I am wont to do, she says "Evil loves the Darkness". I hate it when she does that. that and when it gets colder i go into hibernation! wait. that's not me. disregard. *** Cappadocius changes topic to 'God, The Super-Monad.' !order bloodwyne !pay 1 gold !murder vampyre idiot * Saint_Harlequin blesses people with a large club. * Elfkin squeezes ^chris_'s spleen. * ^chris_ promptly devours elf and downs a bottle of white wine, finishing the traditional waffle king morning breakfast my professional advice.... is do her.... hey i'm not much of a professional... you know? * Ukolovik is a bit overwhelmed at his own studliness. Alex: What are you graduating in, anyways? spyral: one of those black robe thingies. why? What barnyard animal's fat was a main ingrident in explosives through WWII? PIG! i'm gunna have to be real careful what i do from now on, im in a condition where one jostle can create a new inland sea PoA: We breathlessly await his arrival. do we? djenna: Of course we do. We're vampires, we do everything breathlessly. pig: and it just dawned on me about 5 days ago that happiness can be found in the littlest things. little bottles of jack daniels, little vials of crack, little books of porn, little racing bet stubs * Omnicynic unweaves Niamh into a very long string of muscle fiber, veins, organs, and little bone beads. He then winds her onto a spool, seals it with wax, and finally rolls her into the closet, which he closes and locks. because wheelchairs and baby carraiges are made to go down stairs Ooh, gay porn. How intellectual. ((They used to call me carcass in Guitar class.)) *** DerF changes topic to '"Information on package vacations in the Frogstar are available in the leaflet 'Fun, Sun, and Suffering on the most Totally Evil Place in Existence'." (bv728)' fiend, those aren't Euopean art videos. Those are Sweedish porno films. shhhh they are eropean art films.... they show you how to draw lines...... over faces...... with....... .......... ahem..... never mind. Horsy? NATTY! STELLA! I have so missed you all.....can't say why.... Em: Our unbounded charisma? * FatherDog looks around. Well, *my* unbounded charisma? Hey....When did you start knitting? Earlier this week. I decided I needed a new hobby, since I've given up smack. i've been a soldier, so i'm not used to having rights yet my next tatt is gunna be pooh and piglet flying a kite. that should intimidate all those mean biker thugs Hey there, ED. How's the horse-dick hanging? Ria: Lost it in the war. Got it replaced with a steel pipe. "Is that a steel pipe in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Both. Hmm, I bet that's an odd feeling. Still use the right hand only, or is a two-hander now? I tend to just smack people in the head with it. It's detachable, yaknow. * EquusDeus smacks Padre in the head with his . . . steel pipe. * FatherDog kills millions in a bid to gain love and acceptance. * Tenabrae strikes Moogle down. *** {Moogle} has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by retrovertigo))) *** {Moogle} (ghfgh@modem-71.dexfenfluramine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #malkavians ED: Not so hard next time. say Emily I have a question Emily I have a question. Wonderful. From two anthropomorphic kittens to a bad vaudeville act. * Gahuagafahga transforms into a Great Old One, just because. oops. omni's gone Elder Beastie on us again Yea, Elder Beastie! * Kazz looks around..."How did I get into everquest...?" Kazz: Your local EverQuest dealer? "First hit's free, man..." *** Topic is '"My twinkie is filled with cream. Suffer the little children to come unto me and taste of the cream of my twinkie."' *** Set by {Moogle} on Fri Dec 17 23:54:35 I like winter. I like the cold. I like the sound of flowers dying. FD...you romantic you. Jersey accents are sure fire leg-spreaders. If there's anything that rules the world, it's irony. "Come to the orgy! We'll have STAMPEDING CATTLE!" I'm taking up a new hobby, Em. Pedophilia. That's good, Quin. I hear it is getting to be quite popular this year. * Emily_Nelfnoffen sends the boy off to dress and prepares to thrust herself on an unsuspecting and mostly uncaring populace. must be festive Well, the mistletoe belt buckle is festive. The rest of it is just bright. The newest World of Darkness book. "Mime: ..." I don't look like a raver. Chaos: Actually, you look sort of like the Pillsbury dough boy after a really hard night out. * bv728 has to say that the second to last boss in Parasite Eve has perhaps the largest scrotum ever in a Squaresoft game. All god's little chillin' love fondling robots. I just don't understand. My boyfriend wants me to be his mommy while some hispanic alcoholic is hungry for an order of chili fries with a side of my ass. *** ^chris_ has quit IRC (Quit: i assure you, i hate most of you from the bottom of my bitter, black little heart) Dog, don't shatter a young ferret's dreams like that. <{Moogle}> shatter her bones instead <{Moogle}> with a big ferret hammer Oik! * DerF kills Tannon. Die for networksolution.com's sins, evil warlock. It's annoying as fuck. <{Moogle}> I'm not disputing that <{Moogle}> but lots of things are <{Moogle}> the existance of other humans, for one thing <{Moogle}> but if I go do something about that, you hear about me on the news, don't you? <{Moogle}> I'm Doctor Doom or The Joker or something Ah, I've missed this place. Talking to people face to face just isn't the same. *** elfotherzonkmustdie is now known as totorokin *** Omnicynic is now known as Overfiendkin * totorokin stares blankly at Omni. STOP THAT! * FatherDog laments the difficulty in finding Santana mp3s. he doesn't seem like the kind of artist who would advocate MP3's I don't care if he advocates pedophilia; I want my damn Santana mp3s. its nice to see thee Cherry! * CherryPep smiles is nice to be here it is. You sound like a lounge singer any second now you'll be asking where we're from <{Moogle}> Mental note: poison the water and air <{Moogle}> Wormwood, they call me. Why, Mooog? <{Moogle}> Because I hate you all. I thought we'd covered this. * {Moogle} embraces the dark side. <{Moogle}> boredboredbored * slinkichu dances about <{Moogle}> mildly diverting. <{Moogle}> is there a pole and/or feather boa involved here at any junction? *** Ukolovik (n_a@adsl-216-102-90-88.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) has joined #Malkavians Uko! Entertain us! * Ukolovik juggles flaming puppies while on a duocycle. * Ukolovik does a backflip into the mouth of a lion being eaten by a duck. * Ukolovik has a Steel Cage Death-Match with Ghandi, Buddha, and the Solid Gold Dancers. * Ukolovik starts life on other planets and moves objects with his mind. <{Moogle}> you quite finished, there? Almost. * Ukolovik does a cartwheel. There. <{Moogle}> Right. * {Moogle} shoots himself in the face * {Moogle} gurgles *still bored* through the ruins of his head hey, man, I tried. Bad mojo! No biscuit! If only liver transplants had existed in Mozart's time... he'd still be dead. Quin: Remember when Rich was the channel's pet homosexual? Then he goes off to college and starts dating women and watching porn. It's amazing what they teach you at school these days. ((The hideous tounge! With the hideous stud! Searching me out! HUNTING ME DOWN! CHASING ME EVEN THROUGH MY DREA...oh, er, yes. Quite.)) AGH! Bulgarian spy! * FatherDog points. eep! I am not a vulgarian spie! I am potatoh farmah! I loving America! I notice Elf is zonked, and most of you are probably at another channel.. hey, this is my one and only channel, baby! all of my somewhat questionable attention is focused on YOU! yes YOU! dance! dance or die! *** Topic is 'newsflash: fiend is attacking Tokyo' *** Set by {Moogle} on Mon Jan 31 14:08:46 <{Moogle}> Detroit is the spiritual home of funk, you know. <{Moogle}> Parliament still live there. <{Moogle}> Bow towards Detroit three times a day and pray. Go to bed, Father. clio: I have to work, darling. And unfortunately I'm not the right sex to do both at once. Wicker dildo. Wicke...aaaarrrgh. Bad Wyrm. Bad. *** parrisworried (parr@tsmia2-51.gate.net) has joined #Malkavians What is parr worried about? Eugh, this sounds like a children's book. * parrisworried sucks the worry out of elf's eyes. *FONKT!* * FatherDog will probably not have children. If he does, his daughter will probably have sex with her boyfriends, then eat them. * {Moogle} gets rabies and dies <{Moogle}> X_X Wow, fast actin' rabies. * {Moogle} nods <{Moogle}> no, wait. I don't nod. I can't do that, I'm dead. <{Moogle}> or speak <{Moogle}> so forget you heard this <{Moogle}> whores are the solution to most of life's little niggling problems <{Moogle}> just ask Jack The Ripper <{Moogle}> Feeling inadequater and frustrated? Cut up a whore. Bad Moogle. <{Moogle}> Not bad Moogle. Moogle not Jack The Ripper. Moogle only summarise. <{Moogle}> Moogle talk like Tarzan for some reason <{Moogle}> Ungawa! * {Moogle} puts on the Johnny Weismuller mask and swings around on vines <{Moogle}> All the intellictual stimulation of observing the gutterscum without the displeasure of having to actually /smell/ them... Doc: You should consider relationship insurance. Helps when they keep your CDs. Amaya: I can call you a child molestor safely now. {Moogle}> Must preserve libido <{Moogle}> you'll miss it once it's gone, believe me <{Moogle}> took me nearly two years to restore mine to full, vibrant, pulsating life. <{Moogle}> mmm. pulsating. <{Moogle}> what can I say? Despite the sometimes-front, I'm a bashful type at heart. <{Moogle}> No, really. <{Moogle}> Stop snickering at the back there, it's true. Damn! A new IRA bombing. I just hope that there won't be retaliation Retaliation? From those people? Nah, I think they've demonstrated over the years that they've got a stranglehold on the "Forgive and Forget" concept. Why are people so against working naked? *** Topic is 'You all are envious of my magic wheat.' *** Set by Richard_McCart on Tue Feb 08 14:48:50 Y'know, I've realized something. When you have a normal song stuck in your head, and you walk around singing it under your breath, people just think you're sort of musical. But when you have a techno song stuck in your head, and you walk around singing "I'm invisible... I'm invisible... I'm invisible..." under your breath for five minutes, they think you're a fucking lunatic. *** Teo (none@marius.lls.se) has joined #malkavians * eclipsis hugs Teo * Teo hugs Clippe * Teo hugs Maxie * Teo does not hug FD * FatherDog does not gut Teo and take out his eyes with a rusty melon-baller. * Teo is glad that FD and he came to such a good understanding Have you ever pinced your finger on something and a little bit of blood gets trapped under the skin? Max; oh that kinda thing...so then you have to open it with a pin so it won't just be a sort of big flat vein? I had one of those..and i picked and picked at it with a staple in 10th grade english. Iw asn't even looking at it when suddenly my hand felt really nice and warm. then I looked down and there was blood flowing out fast So i raised my bloody hand and the teachear said GO! and I ran to the batrhoom. I had a handfull of blood. I wanted to drink it..but what if someone came in? so I just poured it down the drain. what a waste. Matrix 2?!?!? * Nette_ would have a hardon if she had the equipment. *** Topic is 'Saint Harlequin the Bitter wishes you all to go to Hell. Happy fuckin' St. Harlequin's Day. Oh, and Valentines' Day has the initials VD. Heehee.' *** Set by {Moogle} on Tue Feb 15 14:23:34 Dog: Big, vibrating things are popular these days. *** FatherDog sets mode: +ooo Arioch Omnicynic Spyral Oh, hi Dog. Omni: It's good to know we can still get your attention by blatantly currying favor. Sure, mock the Jerseyites. WE SHALL RISE UP AND CRUSH YOU ALL! Just like the radioactive monsters in those wonderful Japanese movies! * little_sister becomes two little Japanese twin girls who always talk together. *** Nette_ is now known as Nettezilla * Nettezilla rises up from the sea and knocks over some buildings *** little_sister is now known as Mothras_girls *ROAR* * Mothras_girls sing to call the Great Moth to protect the city. Mothraaaaaaaa Aaaaaahhhhhhh... *** HarlequinG is now known as Harlemothra *** TheWyrm is now known as FatherGamera * Nettezilla breathes fire and torches a Chain Hamburger Restaurant(tm) Mothra, you must save the city! * Harlemothra breaks out of a giant egg. * FatherGamera retracts his arms and legs and flies by spinnning while farting fire. * FatherGamera gets dizzy and has to sit down for a while. I'll be right with you, folks... urk... * Nettezilla stomps around and knocks over monorail cars *ROAR* * Harlemothra crawls along the ground towards the city that needs saving. This may take a while. * Nettezilla sits on an RV. this sucks. I hate being a giant radioactive monster. *SREEECH* * Mothras_girls sing to Mothra to give her encouragement There's ... shit! What's that noise! * Harlemothra[caterpillar] spews silk at Nettezilla! Take THAT! ACK! Yes, Mothra! Save the city !! * Nettezilla burns the silk off of her with her firebreath and raises a foot to squish Harlemothra * Mothras_girls ' words don't sync well with her lips. * Harlemothra[caterpillar] ambles towards Nettezilla, knocking over theTokyo communications tower in his rush to save the city! *ROAR*!! *** Maxerg is now known as MechaMaxerg Mothraaaaaa....OOoooOOOOo Mooootthhhrrraaaaa *SCREEEECH* (Give up? Or will I have to use... SYNTHETIC TEXTILES against you?!) Must...destroy....TOKYO!!! * MechaMaxerg goes off to destroy Tokyo *ROAR* (Hell, no! What the hell are you? Some kind of worm? I'll use you for fishin' bait, honky!) Mothra, you must move faster....*lips still moving* *SCREEEEECH!* (Oh, yeah? Take... THIS!) * Harlemothra[caterpillar] spews more silk. *ROAR* (Bitch!) * Nettezilla blasts out a fireball in Harlemothra's general direction. *RAR* *CRUNCH* *SQUEE* (yes, MechaMax squees) Oooooo...SUSHI! *SCREEEEEECH!* (Slut!) * Harlemothra[caterpillar] screeches in pain. * Harlemothra[caterpillar] sulks and goes behind a building to sulk and make a coccoon. *ROAR* (That's right, you little twit. Go hide.) *** Harlemothra[caterpillar] is now known as Harlemothra[coccoon] * MechaMaxerg sits down on a building near a sushi bar and orders some sushi * MechaMaxerg pouts and eats a running Japanese guy, who seems to be speaking out of sync, rather dejectedly * Nettezilla blows fire onto the sushi and cooks it. ACH! MY SUSHI! *ROAR* ((You call THAT destroying a city???)) * MechaMaxerg jumps up and goes after Nettezilla COUSIN, LET ME SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO * Mothras_girls sings to the cocoon. *ROAR* ((And you don't even speak proper monster. Freak. )) *RAR* ((I could never get the dialect right, cousin) *ROAAAR* ((Much improved. Let's knock down skyscrapers before Mothra wakes up.)) * Nettezilla crushes cars beneath her feet. Ow! Hatchback. Ooch! Convertable. Yipe! Sedan. * MechaMaxerg pushes buildings over and eats the running bon-bons inside * Nettezilla stomps to Mothra;s cocoon and pokes it. *ROAR* ((Wake up.)) * Nettezilla sits on a passing 18-wheeler and rides it like a go-cart. * Nettezilla steers the truck into a building. * MechaMaxerg goes to the harbor and straps a couple of ships to her feet, then tries walking on water * MechaMaxerg sinks Hm, time for Nettezilla to return to the sea. * Nettezilla walks back into the ocean. * Mothras_girls go and get drunk, knowing that being female, Mothra is going to take awhile. Uko! Me! * sashya eyes the inhabitants of the room warily * FatherDog shoots sashya in the leg. Not warily enough, apparently. {Moogle}> uhm...my fingers are lagged to my brain. That's odd. * {Moogle} brings out a tommy gun <{Moogle}> *brakkabrakka* * HarlequinG ducks. <{Moogle}> *quakkaquakka* Quin: Life ISN'T real. It's a game where we make up the rules, while trying to figure out if there's anything worth winning. Life is REAL. Life is EMOTIONAL and DANGEROUS and MESSY. Or it always HAS been for me. And I WANT it that way. I want REAL PASSION. fiend: You are a bearded whore. * TheWyrm slithers into the corner and coils up into a compact mass of scales and hatred. Hot lead cures all. *** Arioch is now known as OwnYouActionArioch *** TheWyrm is now known as GettingSomeActionActionArioch * GettingSomeActionActionArioch gets some action. Here, Iskyiskyisky... *** HarlequinG has quit IRC (Quit: Sickness will surely take the mind where minds can't usually go.) <{Moogle}> I'm growing. Must be some sort of correlation between this 'eating' thing and the increase in size. <{Moogle}> It's not that I'm fasting, it's more that all the heroin and alcohol have damaged my appetite. * HarlequinG needs a nice high place to shake a fist at God from. Vio: it's got caterpillar sex. Vio: I see no need for rationalization. <{Moogle}> John Lydon's voice is a screwdriver in the ear. mmmmmmmmmmm screwdriver in the ear........ ....... ........ that might explain some of my latest ear infections actually..... * Wudicat kisses papa's cheek, and gives him blood sucky, dispite the fact that he's a strange thin man. * EquusDeus ponders buying Clerks you miss seeing my face that much? I can't have my twisted monkey sex with you lot about. You can't? ;) I'm shy C'mon, hon, it's springtime! Perfect time for a trip to the BURNING WATERLESS HELL THAT IS ARIZONA! last time i went to phoenix, there was some sorta race going on that booked all the hotels Pig: That's the Master Race. They're a bit pushy. fiend: You are SO Silent Bob. ....... i really really hate you at this point father. fiend: If you think you hate me now, wait till that crate marked "Server Architecture" that I loaded the waffle man into after driving to DC and chloroforming him gets delivered to the hub. ....... * the_fiend looks at father dog. ........ And what exactly is Jack of All Trades? Quin: It's a show with Bruce Campbell beating up the French. There's more to it than that, but really, does there need to be? nudity? I'm back. * FatherDog never claimed to be nice, just right. <{Moogle}> which reminds me, A Clockwork Orange is rereleased (finally! after yeeeeeeeeeears!) on the 14th of March. Gonna go see. Gonna be good. <{Moogle}> Kubrick had it withdrawn from release in the UK the same year it was originally released. <{Moogle}> because Droogs started appearing in London and kicking the shit out of each other and passers-by * {Moogle} gets a nailfile and slides it up under his gum and starts to tug and shove until the entire gum peels away * {Moogle} chatters his massive new teeth like a cenobite <{Moogle}> I'd like to do a film with an inner monologue that was sort of accurate: "I knew then that I'd never, no matter how hard I tried, catch up with Williams. He was -hey look at her ass...wigglewigglewiggle...- gone, for good. He had too much of a lead for me to ever -I'm hungry, wonder if the chinese is open?- catch up now. I'd lost." no actually jessa I'll be a parent at some point jus not until I'm ready unlike some Talk, you worthless bastards. I go through the time and effort to be here and you sit there like lumps of congealing... well... something that congeals... in a... distateful... manner? Last time I mention urination, let me tell you. <{Moogle}> If only I could believe that, this time. It's my fault. I impregnated elf. I'm sorry and I won't do it again. * Nette_ gives herself forty lashes. * HentaiDI ponders if he really wants to deal with people from Bakersfield next weekend. No, Hen. You don't. Put them in the cornfield. * little_sister goes back to collecting and arranging geeks. Bad Omni! No soulmunchies for you! Lelio_Indigo: With that kinda dirty mouth on you, you REALLY should be nekkid. Quin: Don't die while I'm out. I'll be pissed. *** Topic is 'Eugh! Grotty! fiend wants my ass!' *** Set by Richard_McCart on Thu Mar 02 19:27:02 good afternoon Evening, Cobra. (That's a greeting, not a correction.) Die, Flew. (That's German, not a command.) * {Moogle} is the Black Moses <{Moogle}> Nope. I'm a well dressed model of society, unlike you clownish social lepers. * Flewellyn is listening to Bloodhoud Gang. * {Moogle} is listening to the sound of screaming in the streets. Yay Thursdays. Screaming? Why? <{Moogle}> I'm not about to go out there and conduct a survey. My internet connection is a wastrel. Since I'm in Australia, there's next to no porn on television. They put on hideous movies from the 80's that everyone thought they'd forgotten, instead. It's cruel. <{Moogle}> No porn? Jeez. What's fiend's excuse, then? * {Moogle} scratches himself in eight places <{Moogle}> oops * {Moogle} hides the six extra limbs Where did you get those? <{Moogle}> found 'em <{Moogle}> finders keepers <{Moogle}> Fell off the back of a lorry, y'know? <{Moogle}> A glow-in-the-dark lorry with PENTEX along the side * Nette_ bakes pornbread And if you're good, there's popporn in the microwave. <{Moogle}> did you know that you can sand goldfish to a fine point? You can? <{Moogle}> Yep. Try it. True, they get a little messy toward the end, but cloudy red water makes them feel good. <{Moogle}> Makes them feel like Jaws, instead of Koi Moogle: Good drugs where you are? <{Moogle}> Omni: Wouldn't know. <{Moogle}> ...not because I'm straight edge, because I'm not sure where I am <{Moogle}> it's all the crack * {Moogle} spins in confusion * FatherDog keeps logs of everything as a matter of course. You people are here to entertain him, after all; he likes the occasional rerun. * TheWyrm writhes up to parr and grins at her. hello wyrrrrrm! how...wyrrrrrrrmy you look today Dog, you missed frogboy yesterday No, I didn't. I may not have been here when he was here, but I surely didn't miss him. * djen whispers very dull things in elfkin's ear * FatherDog grabs someone at random, hurls them to the ground, and hits them with a sledgehammer until thick, clotted blood oozes from their ears. <{Moogle}> ...hey there Dawg. Feeling a alittle antsy? Moog: I feel the need to remind people I'm here every so often. could be...kinda hard to keep crying when someone is licking your face though You aren't the boss of me. <{Moogle}> Who is the boss of you? * {Moogle} thinks <{Moogle}> parr! <{Moogle}> It's always the one you least expect * FatherDog goes through the long, complex process of editing code that's not yours to look like it is. See, college really does prepare you for a job in industry. i'm just looking for someone who can stand to be around me when i pay no attention to them, lust for me, but don't want to have sex with me, and generally have a good sense of humour. fiend: So, you're looking for Thing. I got stitches the other day. just for a lark? Nah, more to keep the blood in. I managed to hack myself with a katana. * FatherDog has a sudden vision of Adrian Paul doing public service announcements. "Remember, kids, I'm immortal, I have inside me blood of kings. You have inside you blood of plumbers and gas station attendants. Don't fuck around with swords." <{Moogle}> adieu, farewell, bury your bodies in at least 9ft of lime *** Quits: {Moogle} (Quit: Mixin' bizness with leather...homework with Heather....freaks flock together...and make all the lesbians scream...aaaaoooooowwww....all right...) *** Quits: Kawaii_Cabbit[BOFH] (Quit: reaf - COMFY BED SAYS HAVE MORE SEX WITH MORE GOATS! ORIFICE PENIS LOVE MOBILE!) *** Topic is 'You can also make incredible leaps with "I can't believe it's not Potence"' *** Set by Teo on Fri Mar 31 11:27:54 In any case, I'm going to go watch my Sims wet themselves and fall asleep on the floor. Spy: So, much like watching Joram and Arioch? on the next digimon, one of the main characters is going to go (gasp) eeeeevil! yay Golly parr, I didn't realize that evil excited you so. drAndy: your innocent comment has opened up a vast churning gulf of deep disturbance in my soul. omni: while I'm sorry you don't share my enthusiasm, I'm glad you enjoy blasting people into frogs. * FatherDog notes that Jersey is remarkably free of natural disasters. <^io> Fd - it is remarkably free of nature gato: And that's how it should be. * Lelio_Indigo nods vaguely, then goes off on a tangent. It's a narrow tangent, however, and he loses his balances and falls into the Abyss of Jovial Entertainers. <{Moogle}> How sweet <{Moogle}> Moonlight <{Moogle}> Thrash metal <{Moogle}> gore and bodily fluids Don't forget the toxic crack. <{Moogle}> as if I could * FatherDog misses, apparently, and lands nimbly on his face. *thud* <{Moogle}> Groove /is/ in the heart moogle: and disco is in the spleen <{Moogle}> Ah, is /that/ where I put it? <{Moogle}> Groovy moogle: I put mine in my apendix, then it was removed... <{Moogle}> Poor thing * {Moogle} slices open his ribs with one long fingernail * {Moogle} rummages around inside and extracts his spleen in his fist * {Moogle} tears it into two chunks and holds one out to parr <{Moogle}> I have plenty of disco. G'wan, take some. moogle: AHHH!! AHHH! * magicparrp faints "Millington, Morris County, NJ: Engineers on the Erie Lackawanna Line occasionally report sightings of a seven-foot-tall black man, dressed in a full-length robe standing on the tracks. Hikers and townsfolk have also reported this man standing on a bridge, high above the gorge that crosses beneath the railroad tracks. He carries a staff, and his eyes are described as being red where the white sould be, and yellow irises." Apparently Nyarlathotep visits New Jersey occasionally. Not too suprising if you think about it. "This last rant was written under the influence of hospital-grade morphine. You got off lucky, punk." - HarlequinG' anybody tried to help the poor boy with his speach impediment? Not really. We just hit him with sticks, instead. *** Topic is 'smite, schmite. tonight i drink to forget why i want to forget. damn. i don't drink. ah well. something.' *** Set by the_fiend on Fri Apr 14 07:32:49 * FatherDog just drives a van. Certainly, not as pretty as the Porsche, but in a confrontation, which one becomes the speed bump? repeat after me "amaya's shoulder is not furniture" * FatherDog afflicts Chaos with invisible black snakes with a vendetta against humanity. Moogle, devourer of sluts! Yet to this day I associate Spear of Destiny to a variety of electric air freshener. well, "Free" means lots of things. when i say free I mean "do I have to pay for it" not "can i decompile it and recompile it for my toaster" Moog: Only if it's REAL white chocolate. <{Moogle}> as opposed to what? Counterfeit white chocolate forged from plasticine and Tipp-Ex white-out? Love me and adore me. * FatherDog hits ED with a hammer. Tough love. ED: Love hurts. One of the stories about Elian going around in the Cuban population is that he was saved by dolphins. Not just by dolphins, but dolphins and the Virgin Mary. That's because Cubans are weird, and Catholic. * FatherDog makes blanket statements based on anecdotal evidence. Try it, it's fun! You too can act like you're in marketing! THUNDARR! The Barbarian! <{Moogle}> With a name like that, it's bound to cut your career options down somewhat <{Moogle}> I have difficulty picturing THUNDARR!....the cobbler. ...there are cameras? Nope, no cameras at all. These are.. aah.. mirrors. Small mirrors. * parrgoo has idle thoughts of clicking on omni untill he explodes YOU ALL WILL BURN IN HEAVEN! I'm going to go now and watch tv with Odin. whoohoo, stupid bliss! Omni... could I borrow AutoCAD for a week? Wudi: I don't know... Remember, it wants things. what does it want? Specificly, it wants a very small, very misplaceable dongle which costs two grand to replace. * FatherDog would be rather hesitant to put anything worth two grand in the same house as Joram. Or Hentai, for that matter. Not that Hentai would touch it, but it would stand a significant chance of being damaged when he's eventually struck by lightning. Or hit by a meteor, or struck by a runaway tractor trailer while he's in the shower, or abducted by minions of his evil ex-boss... * FatherDog cuddles his razor. Mmmm... razory. fiend added an r to his name... 'swhy he's being so nice to everyone. Omnicynic: No amount of effete snobbery will cleanse reality of its visceral truths. * Wudi smiles at Brentai. good man. have a biscuit. * little_sister wiggles her ass to demostrate. <{Moogle}> Yikes. Call an ambulance, that thing's about to fall off. * {Moogle} tapes sis' ass on as best he can for the time being * little_sister slaps at Moogle's hands for being fresh. <{Moogle}> Fine....don't come crying to me when you're running around assless and forced to sleep on your stomach, and tying your legs onto your belly. <{Moogle}> I have a tendency to play out little scenes when trying to get an idea across to people. It's easier than...using...those...word...things. They make the understanding so small when used in not the correct way...which frequently happens. Which happens frequently. Blork. <{Moogle}> it hasn't worked yet, but one of these days I /will/ inhale a fly which enters into a symbiotic relationship with me and gives me superpowers <{Moogle}> Fly powers <{Moogle}> like the ability to stick to walls and dissolve things with my vomit <{Moogle}> Sample it for us, Hentai. Perhaps you could add comedy sound effects. It'll be wacky, like one of those...things...that are wacky. * {Moogle} likes it when guards ask him for his papers in Medal Of Honour. Especially when he produces General's ID or something, then as they salute and turn their back, shoots them in the back of the head with a silenced pistol. This sort of thing pleases him greatly. Note this. * FatherHyena 's pulse is visible at his wrists; you can see the vein go up and down. It's neat. Mmm...pulsey FD. * FatherHyena pulsates. fiend: The Learning Channel. fiend: They had on a "Sports Disasters" special; lots of people being hit or falling down or trampled by bulls. Apparently we're learning not to participate in sports. fiend is yummy with cream * little_sister cuts into fiend's creamy goodness and eats joyfully. <{Moogle}> Turnips have a taste. <{Moogle}> It's like the bastard offspring of a potato and a pear, but raised in isolation by foster-parents who were carrots <{Moogle}> Cats walking upright.....actually walking....forward, like... towards you....is THE MOST unnerving thing I've ever seen. <{Moogle}> on their hind legs * {Moogle} shudders and runs away DIE! *** Quits: Richard_McCart (Quit: Leaving) Hmmm. My aim is off. <{Moogle}> Hush, Ari. Back to suckling lovingly at the penis, boy. Back I say. <{Moogle}> Weak and petty can be amusing <{Moogle}> the reactions, mostly <{Moogle}> Telling old people that they're going to die soon, telling young kids that playing with fire is fun and that Santa doesn't exist, that sort of thing. * HentaiAtWork leaps through the air and latches firmly on parr's face, then politely climbs down and sits calmly next to her. fd would be a good mom, in that he would fight for his young, lioness style * {Moogle} relaxes into his earthy hedonistic pleasure zone little_sister: My house is a nifty, spiffy, shiney place, full of happy people who sing and dance! * FatherDog sighs and daydreams of killing small, cute, furry things. Eugh, small children. * FatherDog goes to find the razors. * Omnicynic walks in, idly breathing nuclear fire. * {Moogle} blinks as a new (entirely fictional, erroneous) mental image of Spyral forms in his mind Consider each weekend a new opportunity to stay away from home and possibly get real fucked up and your life will be...well...as hectic and full of annoying people as mine. Yay. But I think I AM one of those annoying people, 'cause I really don't mind them. As long as I'm the center of their attention. (: clio: You'd be happy surrounded by Nazis as long as you were the center of attention. You can't trust anyone or they'll betray you someday. It's like standing on a strong trapdoor in a room of trapdoors eventually it's gonna open. Some of the trapdoors drop you faster than others but eventually SOMEONE's going to drop. but if you stand on you. you aren't a trapdoor you're a pillar in the middle of the room When did Chao get so good at metaphor? * clio gives Chao a cookie for being so good at metaphor. fd: it's one of those "could they possibly make a game this good, oh please oh please let it be true I will quit my job" things * FatherDog eats a cheeseburger and shoots heroin while listening to Earth Crisis, strictly for the irony involved. Hi Moog... yer missin' the gossips. <{Moogle}> No I'm not. I've just had an evening full of gossip. Pfth. Scots only have gossip about who's fucking whose sheep. *** Spyral was kicked by {Moogle} (Enough, vile beast) <{Moogle}> Oh, no-one understands my strange barbarian ways, I see * Elfkin has the Brentai! he is hostage! he is even now being innundated by corperate PR propoganda and Lebonese activist technobabble! *** Quits: {Moogle} (Quit: Do not disturb. Eating self from inside out.) Ya know. Giant monster movie on TV, coke in hand, TOOL on the sound system...but I'm just not happy. What's missing? Subtitles? Whimpering from the corner? The sound of leather on flesh? Some form of snack food? ooooo, whores! All kids love whore! Oh, good. I can use that one in my next conversation on the Aberrant list... Omni: Quantum-powered prostitutes? Violence in life is an event, so violence on-line should be used sparingly enough that it means something. Spy: Everyone needs faster nudity. * FatherDog makes his goodbyes and slips off at right angles to everything. Don't you love it when you go outside and think you're on an alien planet Heya, parr! What's new in parr-living-place? She loves me. Everyone loves me. Even people that hate me love me. <{Moogle}> I'm Batman, at least for tonight. Moog: You're not Batman. It just seems that way because you lurk on rooftops and beat up people in alleys. * ChaosMage fucks. Chaos: You do not. * ChaosMage cleans his nasal passages. That, you probably do. *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'German history is pregnant with good business advice.' <{Moogle}> FrD: you can fit eighty five grains of short-grain rice in Robinson Crusoe's foreskin. <{Moogle}> Arizonans. Feh. Lets hit them with rakes. * {Moogle} hits Arioch with a rake * Arioch dies. <{Moogle}> Pfeh. Must've been low on HP. All too easy. Perhaps he's just Weak against Gardening Implements. He always did show a marked lack of resistance to hoes... I saw the third one, I think. Frakes directed it. <{Moogle}> FRAKES! <{Moogle}> me and m'friend Mark have a pact that if any of us ever meets Frakes, we give him a doing <{Moogle}> doesn't matter if we're megastar guests on the same live chat show <{Moogle}> Frakes gets a kicking Keeping the natives down, Moogle? <{Moogle}> Teaching him to speak. It's like Pygmalion, only with more decapitation scenes. <{Moogle}> i.e. better. Going to a wedding tomorrow. Yay! Who are you marrying? I'm not marrying anyone; Fred has this crazy idea that his minister should marry him and Lacey. * FatherDog is going because there will be numerous women who have just come to two realizations. Firstly, that they're just as old as Lacey and DON'T have relationships, and Secondly, that there's an open bar. That's all right; at the moment I have the most effective means of birth control in existence. Sharing a room with my brother. <{Moogle}> pills aren't bad, and drugs make you fly. I see it in all the cartoons. I want... more... life! Hentai: Ah, you've slipped below 3 and the beeping noise is driving you insane? * FatherDog dances gleefully. FD, stop that. it's wierd. Hentai; I speak for the entire gay community when I say "Suck me, beautiful!" Sunburn sucks.. wired: See, that's why you should stay out of the big blue room. There really is no inappropriate occasion for a Simpsons quote. <{Moogle}> Just saw Fight Club and it's got me on edge...I'm in the mood to righteously panel someone. <{Moogle}> Must..keep...control. Moog: You could try burning a kiss mark on your hand. That'd probably relieve some stress. * FatherDog shuns Hentai. * FatherDog questions the wisdom of someone that comes to #malkavians for tech support. * FatherDog is willing to bet that there are no Do kata that involve pressing your opponent into your massive man-boobs. they shoot American line dancers where I come from, you know... They shoot 'em here, too, when we can manage it. Believe me, we're just as unhappy about line dancing as you are. *** Quits: Kazz (Quit: Going home, I think...BBL...) <{Moogle}> ...he thinks? Maybe the ferret's gonna drive him out into the desert and make him dig a 6'x3' hole... Moogle: What kinda stuff do you like drawing anyway? <{Moogle}> giant penii with gnashing fang-like stings in their gaping drooling mouths Moogle: I mean GENRE Ooh, ooh, I want to be the God of Used Prophylactics! * CherryPepUndead is tired of being 21 and not having an 'I've been to the us and all I got was this lousy scar' tshirt * CherryPep promises to visit Jersey as soon as she appears to be extremely rich, okay? <{Moogle}> NO MEANS NO <{Moogle}> you monster * {Moogle} sobs * CherryPep pats moogle on the head, somewhat warily there, there <{Moogle}> where? not sure I think it's a Heisenburg thing <{Moogle}> I'd best not look for it then. * {Moogle} pokes himself in the eyes * {Moogle} foams at the mouth * FatherDog foams at the eyes, for variety. Moog: I'm willing to bet there are no styles of Do that advocate intercepting punches with your nose. <^wHisPer`> hi Moogle Eyo, Mooglish. Hoyo mooglygoodly moogle Moogle! <{Moogle}> YES ALREADY, IT'S ME <{Moogle}> bejeesus <{Moogle}> you'd think it was Elvis or something <{Moogle}> either that or I owe you all money <{Moogle}> ...I don't owe you all money, do I? * {Moogle} obfuscates * {Moogle} had the oddest dream last night...but yer not getting to hear about it. Moog: Tease. Tainted Dog...gots to have a bath scrub you righteous again. <{Moogle}> I'm laughing too loudly. I'm sure my neighbours must think I'm holed up in a lab with a Tesla Coil and a sparking van der Graaf generator playing God *** Topic is '*clio eats lost with much excitement and happiness. {Moogle} takes his pole out ChaosMage writhes around in agony as he devours the meeeat. i had to find his gorilla. the frog wasn't big enough' I'm not cut out for parenting <`Keira`> Chaos:Needless to say, I don't send my children to church anymore. I'll have no more high class whores for daughters. * clio attacks a blanket, kills it, and drapes it around herself. *** FatherDog changes topic to 'Jesus loves you. Show him your tits.' * Dr_M craves the death of lesser animals to satisfy his hunger. He's fat AND he's a woman. That makes it funny! ...I am Jack's Desparing Hope for Humanity. You can be Jack's Three Pound Cock for all I give a damn, just keep it down over there. I'm trying to read. * {Moogle} clears his throat * {Moogle} coughs * {Moogle} clears his throat again and makes noises * {Moogle} coughs and coughs and coughs and...hawks up a sousaphone <{Moogle}> *ptoukf* Just another night in the warehouse. It's a little annoying at times, but it's tough to find places to socialize when you're a decades-too-old bloodsucking supernatural creatures. * FatherDog was viewed with a mixture of caution and amused tolerance in high school. Much as one might view a pet tiger. "Awww, he's funny! Don't stick your arm too near." * {Moogle} finds idiot amusement in whipping himself in the face with his hair by turning his head quickly * {Moogle} grins like a shark at a bad boating accident <{Moogle}> They come with Dementation. And even then, they don't necessarily come with it. In fact 'come with' suggests to me that malks are some sort of introductory offer <{Moogle}> buy two malks now and we'll throw in this Dementation and Auspex 4! Hurry while stocks last! <{Moogle}> Make sense, not love. where isky? Isky here. Where pronouns? *** Topic is 'Perform Opless Dancing!' *** Set by parr_naga on Fri Jun 23 17:00:32 *** Quits: Devid` (Quit: Omni, don't ever do that again please. The babies next door are still crying.) (hee hee...oh, that omni. and they thought they had eradicated polio!) * Omni_Naga has, of course, written the book on Vicissitude. (("ow, the cover bit me! what is this bound in, Omni?" "You mean who. Don't ask.")) <{Moogle}> Don't they lay on complimentary oral sex at your work or some thing? <{Moogle}> What sort of a communist industral hell do you slave at? Woah...what sort of work environment are you use to, Moogle? <{Moogle}> Hey, life's great when you work at AT & Love. <{Moogle}> I climbed to the top of my rocks (mine! Get off! Sovereign turf, boyeee) and m'friend said I looked like a pimp castaway on a desert isle Pretty Robbie Crusoe? And his bitch Friday? "I just wanted the David Duchovny article!" "Suuuuuuure, Ma. Whatever. Give your daughter back her porn." I'm bathing in angst. *** Topic is 'SPANK MY BUDDHA!' *** Set by DerF on Mon Jul 03 02:35:15 I am contraband in canada. sing, teeth! vibrate in your pearly whiteness! rejoce at your chopping and grinding! teeth are cool. I want my sock to have teeth. NOW I AM TOO FULL OF CRACKERS AND GRAPE JUICE! * ChaosMage rolls around. How... something. Make sure he's not tense when you boil him that'll make it all stringy. Chaos: What do you suggesT? A relaxing back massage while he boils? * ChaosMage runs the "sanatizer" on FD (flamethrower) There, all clean. Aigh! * FatherDog Rötschreks. * FatherDog stops, drops and rolls. Must..protect... from.. germs... hmm Perhaps a little too clean. * ChaosMage gives FD a cookie. Aigh! Burning, angui...oooh, cookie. Odin and I back up each other's stuff on each other's hard drive. How romantic. I guess. In a hardcore geek sort of way. FD: oh honey...back up my game save directories..yes...I love you. * little_sister stomps CM back into the ice age of a forgotten world. Spyral, you are my favourite slut. Frankly, I'm sick of servicing assholes. <{Moogle}> You're just /trying/ to be quoted, now. <{Moogle}> Disqualification <{Moogle}> Five yard penalty * {Moogle} blinks in slow motion, with a sound like sheets ofsandpaper being rubbed together. What the HELL are your eyelids made of? * FatherDog doesn't tend to look at much art unless it's A) by H R Giger, B) by Ron Spencer, C) Particularly striking, or D) Contains breasts. <{Moogle}> ...shit <{Moogle}> I got shot and killed in Belfast tonight. <{Moogle}> well, someone my age, with my name. * {Moogle} hrms and plans to move house, since the ole' boy Mort is apparently hot on his tail again <[Joshua]> Whats that quote from, FD? pks: It's from me. <[Joshua]> FD- you don't happen to be the son of a carpenter do you? I'm the son of a pharmacist and a systems analyst, actually. <[Joshua]> FD- damn. Ah well, a little PR is all we need to get you to be the Messiah then. Hmmm. I wonder how well that would rake in the chicks. "In these pants, baby, is your ticket to heaven." You hear that, ladies? I *am* the Messiah. Adore me now and avoid the rush. <{Moogle}> Heh. A crime they didn't commit, my arse. <{Moogle}> I can just see B.A. running through My Lai chucking small children into the air for Hannibal to catch them on his bayonet whilst Murdoch uses the miniguns in the chopper to eradicate a few meagre huts and Face has his way with the more attractive corpses of the young female villagers. sometimes I look like Snow White Sometimes I look like a dalmation. <{Moogle}> Sometimes I go out, find a working girl, take her into an alleyway, throttle her with my bare hands, then mutilate the body according to rumoured masonic ritual * StainedGlass is bored out of her mind. * {Moogle} takes the drill bit out of StainedGlass' ear *** Topic is 'It's a worrisome page that states "I am not a porn star or a slut" two lines before offering "life sized pics of my vulva - wide open!"' *** Set by Richard_McCart on Thu Jul 13 16:53:50 Nette: This picture is absolutely awful. Alex looks like he's been shot in the forehead. Ophe looks walleyed, and ED appears to be trying to make the camera explode with his mind. I also have a picture of me being spanked with an ice scraper by a guy in a bowler. And I don't know why. But it got scanned, which says little about my pride. I need to change my nick to something that will make people think I am a lesbian. <{Moogle}> "need"? Yes. like you need monkey-heroin. <-- made of 100% cocaine. * FatherDog giggles over his LARP message board. "I appreciate the nomination for a staff position, but I feel I might not be right for the job. For one thing, a lot of the older LARPers don't trust me, because they remember back when I used to smoke so much crack that the staffers would get a contact high from handling my character sheets." Suddenly I'm somewhat less confident in the coherency of the overall storylines. *** Quits: {Moogle} (Quit: bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do when they come fo' yooooou? Burn L.A. to the fecking ground, apparently. Heh heh heh.) * Riahanna put on those silly and nonutilitarian fake fingernails. Ria: All of the cafeteria workers at college seem to wear those. Of course, they're all black and weigh at least 300 lbs. So you get the impression that your order is being rung up by a tame bear. <{Moogle}> kaji kaji kaji <{Moogle}> jay jay jay sri radhe Haji Haji Haji... Johnny johnny sri race bannon * Riahanna^ giggles and kisses the fiend g'bye with a slow, lingering kiss You adorable man. If you were five years younger... Or lived in the United States... Or weren't a confirmed celibate... Or didn't look like Mr. Hat's body double... <{Moogle}> I got me a spiky wormlicker! <{Moogle}> I /rule/, man *** Topic is '"CSGoddess (Quit: Any way you look at it... its blue and furry and scarey to look at.) --Now taking bets as to what, exactly, this means. Odds at 50/50 that it involves DerF and something we don't want to hear about."' *** Set by FatherDog on Tue Jul 25 13:27:31 * Amy_chan wonders if there are any good mail clients she can get for her desktop heh. male clients on your desk top. i shine out from it like something black that doesn't shine so well. Odin: "KANEDA!" parr: "CANADA!!!" Weresquid! A /sexy/ weresquid. Hentai; Go jerk-off! Hentai; Pay some chick 50$ to screw you! whichever works foryou arioch: you are...not a good counselor. <{Moogle}> but a fabulous tapdancer. We still love you. All I can say for Ms. Rice is that it takes *talent* to make an orgy scene boring. hooray! smut! let's do some more crossdressing, Moogle! <{Moogle}> Harry Potter And The Technocracy <{Moogle}> Harry Potter And The Crippling Paradox Backlash jeez. this emily chick recomends that you put savlon on your thumbs when they start bleeding from too much console gaming. that's hardcore. Jesus is back, and now... he's packing! Recieve the blessing of lead in... BETHLEHEM STEEL! *** {Moogle}AFK changes topic to 'God has a WhinyGoth moment - "Know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." (James 4:4)' * Nette_ amuses herself singing along with Macy Gray in an Eric Cartman voice "My world crumbles when you are not here, you guys... yeah!" * Kawaii_Cabbit[BOFH] scares everyone with his incredibly pale skin cabbit: bah. i've got...CELLULITE! I have stretch marks in random places. my legs are getting scary spider veins <{Moogle}> I have eyes growing along the ridges in my spine <{Moogle}> They also whisper secrets to me in the night Do Moogles multiply in water? <{Moogle}> It's happened before <{Moogle}> Sort of <{Moogle}> more like a practice * FatherDog looks through a few old messages, and discovers that he's supposedly the Page of Wands in a Tarot context. page of wands the DIRTY WHORE card well, if yer male page of wands is a dark young man...a lover...a rival depending on your relationship with him, either an inspiration or a constant thorn in the side. Dog, you're the blank insert card that replaces anything you lose or damage. :) * {Moogle} engages in ye ancient and noble art of Mocking Those Who Are Different Oh..and I bow to FD.... As, indeed, everyone should. FD: Aren't we getting a little full of ourselves? Nat: BOW, DAMN YOU! I AM GOD'S FAVORED CHILD! FD: Damn you and your inhuman logic. superfunkycalifragisexy <{Moogle}[UO]> Argh! My true name! * {Moogle}[UO] *BAMF*s Good day, citizens! Oi, hamster. We're all hating Jenna. I'm winning. Hiya Omni. How goes the rigging of the Olympics? Gonna set the tripwire at the marathon finish line again? Nette: Actually, no. I'm experimenting with gene enhancers with a sports drink dispersal vector. Should be amusing. I expect a roughly 30% increase in performance, and some minor cases of scales or feathers. people just need to stop questioning my divine mandate. Why must the conversation among Phoenicians inevitably turn to sodomy? Mmmmm.... sweet, refreshing heroin. I'm stuck in a perpetual groove. I'll kill you both cheerfully. he said that he'd kill both of us with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.... fiend: I do everything with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Granted, when I lose my temper it's more like a deranged grin, and the song is by GWAR. But still. I know. But exploding boob still has some sort of strange innate humor to it I am the new flesh. FD:like hell you are., Hey, business meeting, you know how those go. Hmm....you mean, people come with briefcases, a bloody melee ensues and less people walk out with fuller briefcases? <`nny_> Brujah Brand Snack Cakes... You don't like 'em? FUCK YOU EAT 'EM ANYWAY!!!! Ventrue saltine crackers (unsalted.) <`nny_> salt sold seperately. only Ventrue brand salt can be used. <{Moogle}> Gangrel Animal Crackers (No longer sold in most stores.) <{Moogle}> The words "You should know better" keep crawling through my mind Moog: A phrase that's usually said by those that didn't, in fact, know better. Should I nap, read my book, or play Diablo II ? <{Moogle}> I notice there's no "talk to the malks, whom I love" option in there YEah. Spyral hates us. We're abandoned and bereaved. * FatherDog weeps and rends his garments. * parr has a tv from the early 80's in her room. sometimes it whines and she has to hit it repeatedly with her fist. * parr tries to think of a name for brightness that rhymes in any way, shape or form with "coco puffs" * {Moogle}[UO] be's gay at Spyral * Spyral_Being_Gay grins. grrrr grrrr? grrrr...mew? Y'know, I don't try to keep everyone speaking English, but could we at least make an attempt at human language? Keep the unintelligible cat noises to a minimum? <{Moogle}> and your mountain dew is some sort of odd space drink brewed by gummi bears. a carp? A carp A large fish <{Moogle}> A large fish? A carp <{Moogle}> Aaaah. <{Moogle}> Correct me if I'm mistaken, but isn't a carp a large fish? <{Moogle}> oh, no, wait <{Moogle}> I typoed <{Moogle}> I meant a large /fish/ <{Moogle}> kinda like a carp Yes, a carp is a large fish <{Moogle}> ah, I see now <{Moogle}> for a moment, I thought you meant a carp <{Moogle}> y'know, like a large fish? * Bard_ puts his head in his hands and cries <{Moogle}> Don't cry <{Moogle}> We won't let the carp get you <{Moogle}> (That's a large fish, you know) <{Moogle}> They don't even have teeth <{Moogle}> well, some of them do <{Moogle}> but they don't bite <{Moogle}> ....well....some of them do.. <{Moogle}> but they don't eat people <{Moogle}> ..well... <{Moogle}> never mind <{Moogle}> Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the garden pond <{Moogle}> Carp II * Lelio_Indigo thinks he spies a face hugger scuttling about. Ominous music plays. In the middle of this Rammstein song, he goes off on a tangent about potato curry. I miss the carefree days of senseless self-destruction. Vulgar WITH witnesses is 1 'dox per log(n) witnesses. You're using LOGARITHMIC PROGRESSION as a system mechanic? Geez, and people complain about GURPS being number-crunching. * {Moogle} weeps blood Hmmm. You might want to have that looked at. * {Moogle} claws his eyes out * {Moogle} pops one in his mouth and sucks it for a second, before spitting it at whomever's making that shuffling noise to the right <^chris_> dog: she was split big toe to sternum! and just /who/ do you think had to stich 'er back up again? chris: Sounds like a fabulously glamorous career you've chosen for yourself. Any attempt at defining malkavians is just plain stupid, because no two are alike. We're like snowflakes that way. Or dirt. *** HentaiDI is now known as Baud`Dib He who controls the root controls the ChanServ. he who controls the ChanServ controls the network! The idle must awaken. He who can destroy a data, controls a data. PARENT! THE IDLE HAS AWAKENED! I must not peer. Peer is the net-killer. Peer is the little death that brings total disconnection. I will face my peer. I will permit it to ping over me and through me. And when it has ponged back, I will turn my traceroute to view its path. Where the peer has gone, there will be nothing. Only lag shall remain. FD: do you know, ah, but of course you don't, the first time I ever played Vampire, I had a farm with milk cows - ghoul milk cows. And thus the entire small town was under my sway. Except for the lactose intolerant ones. only, then my friend who was the ST kept telling me to feed, but I wouldn't, so I ended up frenzying and killing both my servants, who I had unfortunatly named after him and Odin. That was full of nasty physcological ramifications! that's cause I'm soooooooooo butch! I don't know the vaule of money anymore, I really don't. is my time worth 6 happy meals an hour? how can one compute? should that be "my team sucks" or is it acceptable for them all to suck as one unit? * {Moogle} slaps himself around a bit for getting stupider at a phenomenally increasing rate Sword of Omens Viewmaster...show me that hot cat lady from last weeks episode! Oh yeah!" "Knock that off!" FD: I am your coruptor! muahhahhahha! the irony! * parr tackles moogle and gives him a noogie *** HentaiDI changes topic to ' that's cause I'm soooooooooo butch! - Cats are cute as they gimble and caper, but they mistake their tongues for toilet paper. I lick Ass! You are all weirdos.' *** {Moogle} changes topic to ' that's cause I'm soooooooooo butch! - Cats are cute as they gimble and caper, but they mistake their tongues for toilet paper. I lick Ass! You are all weirdos. <{Moogle}> Remember when we used to use the channel for this?' *** HentaiDI changes topic to 'Ass.' *** Aegwyn changes topic to 'Hekki.' *** JustAnotherCowGod changes topic to 'Ass. <-- Mmmm.. Yummy.' *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'Mulch' *** HentaiDI changes topic to 'Mulching is a process of inbred fertilization which employs certain decomposed organic materials - including, but not limited to, animal sediment - to blanket an area in which vegetation is desired. The procedure enriches the soil for stimulated development while, at the same time, preventing erosion and d' *** Aegwyn changes topic to 'Topic Wars ... where the winner is the last to get netsplit!' *** HentaiDI changes topic to 'It's not funny, my ass is on fire.' *** JustAnotherCowGod changes topic to 'It's not funny, my ass is on fire. <--- mmm.. yummy' *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'Paraplegic, inhuman liar' *** Aegwyn changes topic to 'That's differently-abled -- to you bub!' *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'Wanna make something of it, Ironside?' *** Kazz changes topic to 'Bend over and I'll show you "Differently Abled"!' *** Aegwyn changes topic to 'Elf Maglites Kazz. *wack*' *** Kazz changes topic to 'Bend over and I'll show you a Maglite!' *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'Weirdly enough, I was speaking to someone today who just found out where the guy who burgled his lil' brother's house lives. He said something about using a maglite to administer a beating' *** `nny_ changes topic to 'fine... you talked me into it... no more random orgasms. dammit.' "Do /not/ scream at my crotch!" * Aegwyn is attacked by the office toilet and runs screaming for cover. Aegwyn: it's a bidet! ahhhhh at 4000psi maybe or even worse, one of those weird japanese toilets that takes your blood pressure and reads your stock prices. <`nny_> "who's been emptying all my joints and filling 'em with tobacco?! i'm sick of this shit! i bet he (referring to neighbor) heard 'contact buzz' and now he's scared that his wife's gonna get high picking up cigarette butts..." --my mom, just now. ...and I woulda' got away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and that WHORE! if i said Omni was soooooooooo cute, now and then, do you think he'd bathe my head in vicious, mutagenic acids? FD: I just played your message for Odin, he says you have good voice talent and sound almost like Sulu parr: Yeah, fiend said I should look into radio work. parr: Of course, fiend also said I should be shot because no one should sound that much like an Agent from the Matrix. He's funny that way. Oh yes. I have a heapin helpin of wit. Anything new and interesting with you? There was a train stuck in the sydney harbour tunnel yesterday, in the dark. I fed aplenty. I'm looking forward to the olympics.....so many new flavours. Stay away from the "women" shotputters though You'll end up with Bitch Tits * Nette_ laughs at Ed being controversial. I'm Achbar O'Sullivan! Celt of the sands! Igor: You came here earlier in the day claiming to be a 2nd generation Gangrel with a 50 in Protean and mastery of all disciplines who was friends with Caine. This is not a good way to make friends and influence people. thats third third gen Oh, third. Pardon me. And my name is just my character's idea of a joke. His name is John... or not. Horrible freak accidents happen when people do things I warn them not to. It's a well-documented phenomenon. Of course, all my friends are self-admitted bastards, but what the hey. Omni: I'd really rather my full potential be realized in something like legos. FD: you...want...to...be...aaaaaaaaaaaaaamish... you...want...to...be....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaamish parr: Errr, no. darn it didn't work :) Drugs make the world go 'round. Arioch: Not exactly. They mostly just make it spin. * little_sister fawns over Fd. Yes, but people fawn over me because I ooze charisma from my very pores. Night, sis. Try not to explode into a plume of purply red gore and ichor. sis: http://www.fluble.com sis: It's a comic strip. About what? sis: Well, on one level it's about a frog. On the other it's about how all relationships and attempts to succeed for anyone who's not a complete bastard are inevitably doomed to failure. And on another level it's about a tomato. * parr wonders if she can legally change her middle name to "Magickparrp" * parr places a small, creativly made diadem fashioned out of parts of shampoo bottles on gaenisa's head queen ! queen of consumer surficants! I drink the blood of the living...no wait. I drink milk. nevermind. <{Moogle}> That's why I'm able to laugh at your pain rather than simpering like a wean and wallowing in false pity. Another year, another crop of neighbors to demonstrate whom the alpha male of the floor is. Hand not working right! error! reboot hand! I may have to amputate and upgrade. This is CNN. Chicken Noodle Network. And now, a half hour of soup. * parr works Nette's stub like bloody putty, stretching it out into new fingers. Ooooh. Finger-makin' good! *** FatherDog is now known as Chupacabrachu * Naineh pets Mr_Self_Destruct. ....hey...demeaning my menacing presence, a bit... "Ahahaha....no Mr. Bond. I expect you to /die/..." Now THAT's a villain even if the voice dub does sound a bit like The Count "One! One international jet-setting spy!" So...its like this, is it? <{Moogle}> No, it's like that. <{Moogle}> it used to be like this <{Moogle}> then it changed <{Moogle}> to that. <{Moogle}> khhhhhhhsssssss <{Moogle}> The lights! <{Moogle}> They make the night brighter than the day! * {Moogle} cowers Moog: So, we can put you down for skulking in the dark and hiding your precious? Contemporary films are all great and wonderful, but who knows what will go down as the important films. <{Moogle}> Under Siege 2 and BioDome. Clio: No one spent upwards of a million dollars producing me, and I do not star Keanu Reeves. I'm in charge of the phone system. I have the ability to monitor phone calls. And look at who people have called. And who called them. One of my duties is to run a program that captures that information. *** Joins: parrgoo (~neep@dsl-6413173150.atlanta.internetconnect.net) parr: ED's telling us about how he's Big Brother now. Come listen! big brother? parr: He knows what you did last summer. nat: i don't even remember what I did last summer! parr: That'll teach you to go on a druken binge. nat *shamefaced* I got my tablet I got my tablet I got my tablet! parr: Wacom tablet??? wacom, intuos, 6x8, SPECIAL EDITION BABY! parr: My jealousy of you is only equaled by my firm desire to suck up so you'll give it to me. Needless to say, that cat won't be dinner. ...untill it's bigger <{Moogle}> "I'm emotionally fragile, concede the argument based on the fact that I've got tits?" Moog: I have this horrible vision that you, me, and ED going out drinking together would set back relations between the sexes twenty years. it's nat's turn to be pregnant I did it last time Back in the day we used to spit babies out of our cooches weekly! And we'd bite the umbilical cord and eat the placenta! Eating it is just instinctive. Most mammals do it. <{Moogle}> I know I do <{Moogle}> but it's like opening a tube of pringles <{Moogle}> once you pop, you can't stop <{Moogle}> hence the low birth rates <{Moogle}> GET IN MA BELLY * Kazz bleeds on {Moogle}. <{Moogle}> acid for blood... * {Moogle} starts heavily tripping I had a long weird dream. as usuall. one part I was walking aorund and there were huge golems, mabye 50 feet tall. So I thought "i'll switch to my necromancer! okay! I'm a necromancer now!" and I started making weird hand pases over the ground, and skeletons sprung up <{Moogle}> I love dreams with special effects * Parradin mounts his Gallant Steed, every hair in place, every muscle toned, every bit of armor shining brightly TALLY HO! ----- wait! sweat in my eye...okay... TALLY HO! * Parradin rides up to the Hookers Greetings, Fair Madiens! I pray by the Gods of Light that all is well with you, gentle, virtous ladies! * Parradin listens to the ladies complain of the unchilvarious actions of a man they all refer to as "John" Truely! This "John" is a rouge and pesant knave! Taking away the hard money you have earned, doubtless through wholesome tasks such as spinning and embroidery! * Parradin pulls back on the reigns, and Destrider rears magnificently Farewell, Maidens! I shall go to this place of "Lowrider" in the land of "The Projects" and find this black-hearted villan John! * FatherDog laughs himself sick. So, kids, what's new and exciting or old and dull? Nette: Well... everything. <{Moogle}> I'm old and dull <{Moogle}> As are you, methusalass We're ancient. I forgot. Moog: Jenna Jameson is the Hulk Hogan of porn stars. Not the best or the prettiest, but the one that people not knowledgeable about porn are most likely to have heard of. * Nette_ bounces up and down in furious rodent rage. <{Moogle}> heyla parr <{Moogle}> didn't see you sneak in there. Moogle: sneak in? i came in on a huge horse! <{Moogle}> ...mrrm...yeah..you'd think I'd notice that, wouldn't you? Moogle: I guess it was a very subtle charge... <{Moogle}> "HORSEMEEENNN! TIP-TOOOOOE!" * EquusDeus smacks Moogle. <{Moogle}> ...don't smack me, hoss, I'm not one of your bitches. <{Moogle}> The outfit just happens to be something I threw on * FatherDog watches the A-team. The A-team makes it all better. What is this "sun" thing of which you speak? The Bright Thing Which Makes Us Go Back Inside. The rituals during this month also featured a festivity dedicated to the major Aztec war deity, Huitzilopochtli ("Sinister Hummingbird"). Sinister /hummingbird/?!? My dad is pretty cool; he just fell for the absolutely wrong woman. heh. same for my mom ;) shim: Your mom fell for the wrong woman? dog: explains so much about me, doesn't it? ;) * FatherDog makes a point not to sleep with people in relationships with his friends. It's impolite. * Hentai[atWork] does the Dance of the Flaming Ass. * Bard_ realizes that he just spent the last half hour creating a single character's monolouge and filling it with Biblical references * {Moogle} realises that he just spent the last half hour sitting on the windowsill screaming at passersby and wanking like a monkey * Spyral realizes that she just spent the last half hour making pasta for dinner when she *could* have been sitting on the windowsill screaming at passersby and wanking like a monkey. <{Moogle}> Spy: I'm the world's leading authority on missed opportunities. <{Moogle}> well, I'm not <{Moogle}> but I could have been * {Moogle} sniffles regretfully * FatherDog uses proper fucking english when he types, and if he does use slang, he uses the slang he would speak... to wit, Jersey slang, not fucking mick slang, since the closest he's ever been to Ireland/Scotland is a layover in London on his way to Spain. Kazz; Trix are for kids. {Moogle} and whores * {Moogle} feeds Venia some nice tasty scorpions * parr attempts to moonwalk (ahh, the tradegy of dying in the late 80's...) * Disembodied_ED steals parr's belt. *whump* * parr freezes and pulls up her pants. "Eh..hehhe...ehh....." * FatherDog watches a giant, singular drop of sweat form on parr's head. * parr turns bright red ((now I'm trying to decide, what kind of underwear parr would wear. Darn it,t hey don't prepare you for stuff like this when you make your character sheet!)) parr: Boxers with hearts on them... and a padlock. * FatherDog actually would just assume parr wears boxers. She dresses in a tuxedo, and force of habit in not thinking of anything erotic in connection to parr has left him mostly unable to picture parr in any situation that might resemble a panty shot. FD: so boxers are gender-neutral? everyone should just be shrink-wrapped in plastic! <{Moogle}> ...the world's only brown and white panda in captivity is dead, btw <{Moogle}> But on the plus side, it was fucking tasty <{Moogle}> Mmmm good * Kazz gives Nette_ a love wedgie. ;) I never really wanted to rule the world. It struck me as far more work than I'd ever want to deal with. I'm not sure if that's emotional maturity, or just unusual laziness. * Elfkin beams with the evil that is elf =) * FatherDog doesn't beam with the evil that is FatherDog, as it's pretentious and draws attention to oneself. parr's mom: "I hate it when the cats have to eat dregs." parr: "mmm, dregs!" <{Moogle}> next time you hear the theme tune to Ironside <{Moogle}> try not to hear "He's a de-tec-tiiiiiive! He's got no leeeeeeegs!" * FatherDog never had ED pegged as much of a pet person. I love cats. ED: And I love professional wrestling, but I wouldn't want Steve Austin living in my house. That's different. Not too different. On the one hand, cats probably won't drink all your beer, on the other, Stone Cold probably won't wake you up by sitting on your face. <{Moogle}> Righty <{Moogle}> let me renew my connection Translation: I'll be back in a half hour. Then I'll be off and on again in five minute intervals as my connection flutters. Because the phone lines in Scotland are made of low-grade piano wire, and are often rerouted through trained parrots sitting next to tin cans on string. This Rock n Roll life of mine is making me old before me time. your time? You're, like, 58 * John_Orr snickers. * John_Orr also moves several paces to the left of Moogle. * Rebecca_Grey shoots John_Smith and the religion he created. Number one way to tell how long people have been in #malkavians: They know where to stand. Once the sun goes down, the desert blooms with life. <{Moogle}> life, and sandpeople <{Moogle}> watch out for Bantha tracks But they're not very dangerous, I wouldn't imagine. I mean, Kenobi points out that the sand people aren't NEARLY as accurate as storm troopers when it comes to blaster fire. And we all know how accurate storm troopers are. chocolate pudding, and carrots: why did I think this was a good combo? *** FatherDog changes topic to ' Dog needs to kick more people in the crotch.' * Gaenisa twirls parr * parr twirls grimly while hammering on her keyboard and muttering something about read only files * Hentai[atWork] is remarkably unusable as a fucking device. Hey man... No illegal deals, that just gets all of us in trouble. Ria: Quiet, you. Let us sociopaths discuss business. *** FatherDog changes topic to 'It's not enough to just be a sociopath. Good planning is also essential.' Brb, gonna go get some toilet paper at the front desk. .... She's gonna TP the channel. Pre-emptively short-sheet her bed. <{Moogle}> You know what's a great prank? <{Moogle}> The cutting-their-spouses'-head-off-and-giving-it-to-them-in- a-box prank. <{Moogle}> You should've seen the look on his face. Aha. Ahaha....eh.... I liked it. <{Moogle}> ....curring? cutting. Damn achey wrists. Too much masturbation, Moog. <{Moogle}> Hey, it pays the rent It....does? * FatherDog prepares to emigrate. i got your inter-office memo ... now, I did see on the employee progress report I saw "Due to be Recycled" next to my name ... pray tell me what that means? <{Moogle}> Elf: You're gonna be made into Solyent Green * The_Trinity stage dives out of the rafters when no one is looking * TheWyrm , as he isn't looking, isn't impressed. * FatherDog used to just jump down the stairs, straight from top to bottom floor. Used to do that with slides, too. Go up to the top, leap off, land and roll. FD: because you're FUCKING PHYSICALLY POWERFUL you bastard I demand your limbs For the sake of the nation, this Jesus must die... Not that Jesus, this Jesus. This one over here. Third one from the left. * FatherDog floods the entire channel with napalm, has done with it. * FatherDog sprays the remnants with Agent Orange and pisses on the ashes. * little_sister puts up her fists to Moogle come...fight, you wuss.. <{Moogle}> Moogle sees no need to dally with sawn-off lunatics. <{Moogle}> Moogle sees this as a waste of his godlike power. Moogle sees reason to speak in the third person, though. <{Moogle}> Moogle is cultivating a Doom-like megalomania. little_sister has eaten Moogle. <{Moogle}> Moogle throws sis a 20 and leaves <{Moogle}> You know, Jesus must've been one tough little jew. <{Moogle}> sssssssssssssssss Moog: Are you angry, or deflating? <{Moogle}> Deflating. Just curious. <{Moogle}> with scent of leaking jet fuel <{Moogle}> mmm....petrolicious *** Elfkin changes topic to 'I hope that Emily dosn't cost Omni as much as Rebecca is costing you guys.' Ari can't kill me..he is my whore. "today on AOL: Grinch trailer: what would Seuss think?" I'll tell you what he'd think. He'd think his whimsical beautiful story of childhood has been bought, sold, and prostituted to make a buck. As he probalby knew would happen after he died. * parr sinks her fangs into the furniture. * FatherDog blinks at parr. * parr just sits there, looking stupid, fangs stuck in the woodwork. I like the taste of paint! I need help figuring something out.. * FatherDog refrains from the obvious comment. * parr is firm. Kazz: your comments utterly escape me. Lo, I am as nothingness as to comprehension. avoid fried foods on your eyes. Even if I'm, for some strange reason, a woman, I'm more man than you'll ever be. Americans don't have national pride. We know that America isn't that great. We just know that everywhere else is even shittier. * BigJobbs lifts up his shirt and shows off his emotional scar parr: Tell us fascinating stories about your adventures in the magical land of Asheron's Call. Wyrm: are you...serious? (You fool! Open not the floodgate) parr, isn't the Wyrm a concept though? I can assure you he's quite concrete, he's squeezed me. * FatherDog floods the channel with a sea of razorblades. *sniksniksnik* * Foxglove_Starfinder stands up straighter and puts her hands over her ass Ah, now you're learning lesson 1 of #malkavians... How to stand when Kazz is around. *** Spyral changes topic to '"Nature's most important creation: the human ass."' Nette: That sucks...I never have time to log on at night. Nat: What, did you and Coppy move in together or something? FD: NO!...why do you ask? Nat: Well, I figured your time at night was being taken up by hours upon hours of hot, sweaty Canuck coitus. * FatherDog leaps upon ED and sodomizes him with a rake. * CutGlass cowers in a corner and tries to selectively edit memories of this IRC session. * Naineh pounces FD and clings to him like the lizard he never wanted. <{Moogle}> Murdock wasn't in the Celesial Chorus...he was the mad one out of The A Team {Moogle}: and he was later in Star Trek: The Next Generation yeah! I remmeber those episodes. "It's Murdock!" "quiet, parr." "It's Murdock!" <{Moogle}> always expected Worf to go "I ain't gettin' in no teleporter, fool!" though Riker would make a great Face. in some ways, he's even more Face than Face. "Why, hell-ooooooo there. You appear to be humanoid and female! Can I synthisize you a beaverage?" TWX: Reason why women are better than beer: you'll never find a small dead mouse in a woman. spyral: that's the blessings of being an animal mother; you don't even think to ostracise any of your children. you just love em all. parr: Except for the ones you eat. * little_sister ignores her female roomy chanting "I stuck it up my buttttt!!" at the children, very sure she doesn't want to know. And my son is using a ruler on her. hmm And *I* am the household deviant? meat keeps going bad. Well, it will do that after a bit, Hentai bought it yesterday from IGA What setting is your fridge on? <{Moogle}> "rot"? A whacked motherfucker, was Thompson. Is Thompson. I dunno, is he still among the living? He has done too many drugs to die. Honorary malk material, is that. And some of the analysis he goes into on the Angels is really applicable to looking at Malks as a Clan, which is somethign that people rarely do well. Such as? sis: Mmm... posting verbatim would be a little long, but... it's talking about the Angels as outlaws... not the romantic outlaw image that movies or books sometimes portray them as, but outlaws because within the system of society, they're people who have no place, no future... they're outside the law because there's no place for them inside the law. sis: Individual Angels may not like each other, and may beat the shit out of each other in private, but if anyone else goes after an Angel it's all against all, because if they don't show solidarity, no one else will help them a bit... no one wants them, the only thing they have is the fear that they can inspire as a group. Good reason for malkavians sticking together, despite their differences, and without all that Brotherhood of Madness stuff being necessary. I like the rain.. I like kittens. * Elfkin puts kittens and rain together. ...it rains kittens...thousand of kittens plummet to the ground, exploding in horrific sprays of blood and entrails while bone fragments shrapnel accros the scene. 10 min till I check on my cake *** Quits: Natwick (Quit: Leaving) <{Moogle}> See? Natty knows what to do. TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR CAKE. Why is it that half of all the questions I ask are responded with "What's your purity score?" ? CG: That's the kind of place this has degenerated into. Yes, Omni liked it much better when half of all the questions were responded to with ((What's your Auspex score?)) Hentai: It's long been my suspicion that marrying off Maria Schriver to Arnold Schwarzenneger is part of an attempt to breed a bulletproof Kennedy. * Avaelis ordered a stuffed moogle from justanime.com Stuffed with what? I perfer mushrooms and peppers, personally. <{Moogle}> my credit card is about to take a beating * Hentai[atWork] blinks, with Omni_Naga briefly sucking on his phallus. Erm... Hentai: Heya sailor. Dog: But it's a party in your head and everyone's invited. phear my magic skilz I fear your spelling "skilz" * Nette_ warms up the Bionic Hand of Thwacking. You're both asking for a smart rap on the bottom, you know. * Nette_ just gets this hilarious image of a giant robot Nixon knocking over memorial buildings, yelling "NIXON SMASH!!" I'm mostly compatable with many people. Nette; Either that or you're likely to hit on men, women and furniture when drunk. "He seemed like a REALLY NICE sofa, mom!" <{Moogle}> now this is soothsaying...watch and learn * {Moogle} holds Arile down, fillets her and pokes around in the entrails <{Moogle}> Says here that Arile will come to a messy end at the hands of a faker. <{Moogle}> .....wait.... <{Moogle}> this is yesterday's news... Make a fist. Extend your thumb vertically from the fist, as though you were about to give someone your unconditional, obviously heavily-weighted approval. Stick the thumb up your ass. Spin around as fast as you can until you fall over. Die, you stupid f--k. * Nette_ giggles parr: Sleep, and grow strong. fd: well, i thought i'd get a little social action before I go back to my never-ending sleep. parr: Ah. In that case, bring on the action. * {Moogle} dashes out of the shadows, giggling quietly, with a viciously perfect katana in his hands, and decapitates Flewellyn, hacks off both arms, and dashes away again without stopping Although right now, Moog seems intent on social action as directed by John Woo. If you see doves, duck. <{Moogle}> mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord... <{Moogle}> ..ew... <{Moogle}> divine facial <{Moogle}> grotty safer than grooming a cat. <{Moogle}> cat's don't like being 'groomed' <{Moogle}> Cats go "Oi! Stop fucking with my hair! Took me ages to get it like that" <{Moogle}> and then they pull out a switchblade and slash you The main problem with common sense is that it isn't. * TWX thought natwich was a type of sandwich, like a vegemite sandwich.. Nat has many things in common with vegemite. He's black, salty, and often eaten by Australians. ...or not. Parr, really, don't fret. It's a benevolent weapon laden killing machine, and quite friendly once you get to know it. fd: you may be a drunk, but you smell soooooooooo minty. * Naineh hugs and kisses people and couches. Uhm? No, not the couches. Chic: I live next to New Hope. I know more gay and bi people than I do straight, I know more middle-aged drug users than I do college-aged drug users (and believe me, that's a lot) and I know more drag queens than prom queens. See, this is why I've always maintained the computer labs should have sneeze-guards. don't hate people, hate their ideas. M: But you can't hit ideas with a hammer. WRITHE IN THE CLEANSING FIRES, BITCH! <{Moogle}> and then the courtship yodelling begins Moog: Tell us more of the mating habits of the elusive Moogle. *** FatherDog changes topic to '" I put them in my mouth and think "oh god there's so much sugar and colouring" and my eyes roll back into myhead" Mason should change his diet, perhaps.' <{Moogle}> When I obsess, I don't mess about. * Gaenisa licks parr * parr screams at the licking * parr rips off that bit of skin and hands it to gaenisa. I haven't told you about my groups plan to write their names on Jupiter yet, have i? That would doubtless be handicapped by the fact that Jupiter doesn't have a solid surface. So it would be much like trying to write your name on Lake Michigan. Except indescribably stupider. Moog: After years of listening, I've determined that Chaos actually is fairly intelligent and has some good ideas, but he has this filter between his brain and his fingers that makes everything come out just slightly garbled. So listening to him is like panning for gold. The meaning is there, but you have to sift through all the sand around it. * lil-sister touches Kazz's things and does it ALL WRONG!!! *** Joins: Nette_ (wonder.ham@TCNJ-139-238.TCNJ.EDU) look! It 's elvis! damn enter key being next to the apostrophe screwed that up. Take two. *** Parts: Nette_ (wonder.ham@TCNJ-139-238.TCNJ.EDU) *** Joins: Nette_ (wonder.ham@TCNJ-139-238.TCNJ.EDU) Look! It's Elvois! Crap! Take three *** Parts: Nette_ (wonder.ham@TCNJ-139-238.TCNJ.EDU) *** Joins: Nette_ (wonder.ham@TCNJ-139-238.TCNJ.EDU) Look! It's Elvis! That's better. *** Kazz changes topic to 'Happy Birthday Hentai/Ialdabaoth! :)' Yah, pleasant anniversary of birth, Hentai. Are you planning on getting naked and covered in blood and get slapped, to really milk the nostalgia? * {Moogle} puts fresh batteries in Mab_deFee, before crawling into a hole in the wall * Mab_deFee needs batteries? No, but apparently, they fit. Somewhere. * Spyral wants to see old people get crushed like a soda can in a Craft-matic adjustable bed. we do not I repeat do not ... drink blood wyne, have 12 line entrance scripts, wear cloaks or generally wank about' vote for tinyparrs! 40 tiny, cute presidents with the brain capacity of a mouse! we would develop very strong ties with Japan. "oooo! chibi amerikan! " ...and would, eventually, get lost in the carpet. Omni: I think the secret service is supposed to deal with problems like that "Secure the perimeter... and start searching the couch for spare Presidents again." well, I certainly wouldn't disgree with the pray for advice. still, I think the bible is there for a reason. but religious talk on this channel often drives red hot pokers into my retinas, so mabhe I should drop it Perhaps. Religious discussion is one of those things that never comes to any satisfactory conclusion, anyway. yeah. OH MY GOSH YOU'RE RIGHT! they scream and all convert to Hinduism that happens /all/ the time. but it was DIVINE POOP! and they were always having problems with like, various bodily excretia turning into a god. "And then orsiris passed water, and out of it arose the god blah-blah" "Finally, Ra created John, God of proper waste-disposal, that other gods might relieve themselves without spawning twelve mortal enemies." moogle: can I bounce your boingy thing? huh huh * {Moogle} sighs and bows deeply, boingy thing out <{Moogle}> G'wan WHOOHOO! * tinyparr pokes the moogle-bouncy thing with a finger and watches it bounce around like a deelybopper * {Moogle} watches a brain be eagerly dismantled by schoolkids * TheWyrm also tastes of entropy, corruption, and, oddly, mint. <{Moogle}> y'know, there's a limit to how much Czechoslovakian surrealist cinema I can take in one evening.. <{Moogle}> and it's not a particularly large figure * Niamh_ notes her family's breeding program continues. there were lil kids and pregnant wimmen all over tha place at her gandma's it was kind of frightening, really. pretty soon my mom's side of the family can start their own small country With any luck, they will. On a small, volcanic island. <{Moogle}> Anyway...yeah...overfiend...funky powers...strange enemies....exploding bodies... <{Moogle}> it's the stuff that dreams are made of <{Moogle}> well....some dreams. I want a shirt that says "stupid foreigners" in chinese characters M: Most of us are fairly east-coast centric. <{Moogle}> I'm west coast, yet even farther east. <{Moogle}> because I'm /that/ cool * Nette_ hugs and kisses and rumples and sexually molests people. I pefer a light weight longsword, two daggers, a katana, or a rapier. .... I like a chainsaw, myself. Have to get up close, and RRRRNINNNNININININNNNN.... Dog: Either you're smart, or lazy. Nette: Can I be both? Sod fire, snow is the holy cleanser So haggy... are you back for good? In which sense? I've never been for good. And there's not much that I'm good for Hagbutt: You're good for the common cold, I thought. And blisters. And dessert topping. <{Moogle}> kinda looks like Telly Savalas playing hopscotch with Wile E. Coyote and the Pointer Sisters... It doesn't take much to kick a crutch. Thats my latest motto What's a good city to nuke? I keep forgetting, and I need to let off some stress. <{Moogle}> Hiroshima <{Moogle}> just to rub it in Nette_: Cool! You didn't tell me you did a comic. Until now. Spy: Well, you didn't tell us you did heroin! Until.... wait. You haven't told us that. FatherDog: I thought my actions spoke louder than words. <{Moogle}> ...john travolta? <{Moogle}> He lives in an oygen bubble too? Moog: He starred in "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble," or some such. <{Moogle}> Cool <{Moogle}> Him and Michael Jackson should get together and have a showdown like those giant hamster ball things they used to have on Gladiators WANNA HOT CHAT? A/S/L? 9000/§/R'yleh *** FatherDog is now known as FatherCthulhu <{Moogle}> Did you know that your sister keeps her pubic hair in a matchbox? * Flewellyn did, actually, know exactly that. Thank you for reminding me <{Moogle}> That's a bit of a coincidence, as I wasn't talking to you. <{Moogle}> But consider it noted. I still think butterflies are fluttering motes of suppressed homicidal rage. They'd kill you if you got the chance. If I was a butterfly shaman i'd kick your flaming homo ass, Thing <{Moogle}> what about breaking the lightspeed barrier? Were you aware we've already done that? In a particle accelerator? <{Moogle}> No, on a moped <{Moogle}> going down a really steep hill Fight Nette! For everlasting peace! Fight Nette for everlasting peace? * FatherDog fights Nette. For everlasting peace! Well, this name I have is my name because my dad was the last of seventeen children, and when I was born I had 71 cousins, and they wanted a name that wasn't in use... Tannon: Oi. Is there any rabbit in your ancestry? FatherDog: I donno... there's Irish Catholic... Tannon: Close enough. * Nette builds a sand castle * FatherDog builds a sand-trebuchet and lays siege. nooooooo! ack! * Nette 's little sand army dies a bunch of terrible deaths Everyone needs signature weapons and special moves, of this I am convinced. * ChaosMage rips open his shirt and destroys everything with his breasts. <{Moogle}> it's Fight Club all over again Oooh, a feral kitty? They're neat... tear your eyelids off when you try to kissy-face them... * Nette rolls a mecha-hamsterball to Chaos Yeah! * ChaosMage crushes japan! I've got a lot of pent up agression I'd tell you, but then... well, I'd have to remember what I said and tell it to the next person who asked, and frankly, I'm not up to it. *** Topic is 'It's time to face the music. It's time to pick a fight. It's time to meet the malkies on the malkie show tonight! It's time to put on white-face! It's time to dress up right! It's time to wear straightjackets on the malkie show tonight!' *** Set by {Moogle} on Sun Oct 08 23:06:19 hentaiDI... it's totally nonrelative... it is a constant formed before your birth by the forces of gloom that bear us in their torrential rains of sorrow throughout the waves of space/time flux Oooh, technobabble. Flew: More "babble" than "technobabble." being women cursed tools of the infernal lord * Nette_ hugs Skinned for his pain, and apologizes for being a cursed tool fd: I'm a big fan of your awnsering machine work *** halloparr changes topic to 'If it's October, it must be time to Crossdress!' * FatherDog was trying to think of a good sound to simulate an impact on flesh, and quickly came to the conclusion that "Nothing sounds more like someone being smacked in the leg than someone being smacked in the leg." Basically...in ethics it's a problem becuase what ought statement should one start with (my answer is that one ought to act to maximize his happiness). * FatherDog floods the channel with napalm, thus solving any pending ethical dilemmas. * Sukaluski ponders the ethics of napalm. BRING THE NOISE! ...or, alternately, don't. Amaya! * EquusDeus takes a few moments to adore Amaya. * FatherDog does not adore amaya, as she's on another continent so he's not getting any ass out of it either way. it's not about ass Maya: Speak for yourself. <{Moogle}> Crazytalk EVERYTHING'S about ass. Remember: ass is all about you. * EquusDeus sits at Amaya's feet and adores her some more. Did you take brain numbing pills this week or something ED. I've never known you to be this nice for so long Maya: We've got him on a morphine drip. You probably rank in around 25% consdering the fact that I have no clue where half of my friends went to <{Moogle}> I know where your friends went to <{Moogle}> well, the larger chunks The porn industry would be so much cooler if we could figure out a real-life way to do Vicissitude. I'm continually sickenned by humanity. <{Moogle}> Drink more tequila <{Moogle}> sweet liquor eases the pain Yeah, then you'll be continually sickened by tequila instead of humanity. I'm my own kind of hoochie. Hentai: Eventually, you'll find the woman that's entirely suited for you. And you can be damn sure that she'll be unattached, because let's face it, there's not a lot of Hentai's running around. I yam what I yam, what I yam is a yam.... I'm popeye the tuber man! Mmm... male ass patting. Maybe what Brent needs is a good mute squirrel. i hate lag And it's very important to share this information with us, because otherwise we might assume you're one of the many people who love lag. Like me, for example. I just can't get enough lag. It gets me hot. * Spyral_AFK has been annoyed that her paper won't write itself all day. Spyral: Scream obscenities at Wordpad. FatherDog: It amazingly doesn't help. Spy: You must not be doing it right. what's the digs, yo M: We're attracting the attention of the NSA ceramic gun pipe bomb kill the president drugs communists nukes nukes nukes That should do it. * ChaosMage sticks a starving rabid weasle into M's nasal cavity. Go little guy! go for the brain! Thats where the candy is!! FD!!! Me! You! Fred! Insanity runs in her family. It runs swift and free! * Amaya does a quick rendition of all your favourite advertising tunes *** Topic is 'There is no wrong a woman's tongue can commit' Triune: you set the topic? Apparently you haven't seen "Species" <{Moogle}> aaaarugh <{Moogle}> must find phone!!! <{Moogle}> must find phone NOW!!! <{Moogle}> sgkljb <{Moogle}> feck <{Moogle}> AHA! <{Moogle}> it'd crept into a sock to hide from me * {Moogle} hangs up <{Moogle}> Righty <{Moogle}> so, the phone recharge thingy is on top of my dressing table <{Moogle}> I guess the phone must've opened a drawer and took a sock out to wear as a disguise, then sort of tried to sneak away <{Moogle}> But twas not to be. My border guards did their job. <{Moogle}> When they go home, there's gonna be another storey on their communal hovel. * Arrua slips her foot behind Triune's ankle in an attempt to take him to the ground. * Triune does some nifty matrix move... alright, not really, the ground it is <{Moogle}> You're a moron. Moogle: Oh no. Moogle: You've found me out. EDG is several brains in a jar * EDG wonders if several brains in a jar should be listening to Barenaked Ladies. EDG: I think severeal brains in a jar can do whatever the fuck they want. Can they dye themselves different colors and force inferior races to fight in the arena for their amusement while they wager ooleks on their champions? Maybe it takes YOU 42 muscles to frown. My eyebrows are naturally in this position. <{Moogle}> I was around when Jesus Christ <{Moogle}> pulled fish out of his arse at Canaan <{Moogle}> ...or however the bible goes. <{Moogle}> I forget.. <{Moogle}> he dies in the end, I think <{Moogle}> Woe unto thee, disbelievers, for your eyeballs will turn to vinegar and chocolate lest you acknowledge the glory of Zeus. I am Nangar, Destroyer of Akh-Akh-Antarakh. Feel the power of my lubrication! They need to have a cable channel that's just a continuous feed of people beating the shit out of each other with metal pipes. Cull the footage of every surveillance camera in every public place in america, cut out all the film of attempted robberies, fights, drunken brawling, spontaneous flashing, and illicit sex, and put it in a single channel. * EquuZilla burns nny's clothes off with his radioactive flame breath. ... so much for foreplay. <`nny_> Vater: fine. but remember that i am now in possession of your phone number, and could call and pretend to be Italian at any time. ok..so what all have I missed? sis: A massive insurrection, put down with blood and fire. And we had cake. * FatherDog , of course, is so macho he sweats a combination of Olde Spice and beer. My dick is neither gross nor uninteresting. It is, in fact, so fascinating and incredible, it has been declared a national treasure and cordoned off with a velvet rope. You have to have an appointment to even view it, in fact. Dog: That's not what I heard... I heard you insert a quarter, an ..... nevermind Shhhhh! * FatherDog covers up the coin slot. See what happens when you tap with the iron-plated wang of doom? * Amy_chan is a curious cat girl :) * FatherDog guts Amy, debones her, and saves the prime cuts for flank steaks. That'll teach you to be a cat in my presence. * FatherDog flays ChaosMage and sells him to the circus. *** FatherDog is now known as Jesus_Christ_Superfly Now, watch as I divide this single bucket of KFC extra crispy to feed the multitudes. Next, I turn water into Colt 45 and raise Curtis Mayfield from the dead. <{Moogle}> .... <{Moogle}> ....did I just come across incredibly, screamingly gay? no more than usual. <{Moogle}> Oh, fair enough. * little_sister grins and leaps over to snuggle up with Moogle. (w) gonna eat you all up.... but not tonight. <{Moogle}> ....phew. Good. I can't regen right now. why not? Have you been out wasting your "essence" on the local fems? <{Moogle}> er <{Moogle}> something like that tsk (w) hussy <{Moogle}> y'know, I'm RIGHT here * {Moogle} sighs <{Moogle}> can't argue <{Moogle}> but I can /hear/ Everyone likes me. I'm more charismatic than God, and I have the iron-plated wang of doom. I am giving up severed things for Lent Dog: Frog-boy's really done it this time... He's doing the horizontal mambo with my best girlfriend. I just found out. Nette: Tell him that you were talking to (x) (that being the girl he was sleeping with) lately on a "girl's night out," and his name happened to come up... and you happened to realize that he was sleeping with you both at the same time... and that you got the idea into your heads that a threesome might be fun... then ask him to come to your house at such and such a night wearing just a trenchcoat and shoes, since your parents won't be home. Meanwhile, tell your parents you've invited Craig to dinner, and have your brother answer the door. That should be an uncomfortable couple of hours for him. Nette: Think about what'll be going through Craig's mind when Dayv offers to take his coat. Or when you're parents ask how he's been doing, and isn't he hot in that trenchcoat? Brak.... I swear Brak is one of the voices in my head..... him and Barry White.... Actually, it kind of bugs me... Brak is in charge of libido... "Hey, buddy, he's kind of a hot one there. Take his pants off!" And Barry White is my voice of reason. "Okay now baby... you know you're overdue for an oil change.... oh yeah... gotta keep it runnin' smooth." Barry says go to bed. Brak says no, buddy. Read more porn! * little_sister wants Ris to treat her as she knows she was meant to be treated...and then she will kill him to seal their love. * Mr_Self_Destruct lifts spirits high..... * Mr_Self_Destruct drops them on rocks from a great height to feed his chicks <{Moogle}> Gnnrrgh. I hate that spelling. It seems to be the standard now, though. <{Moogle}> That hasn't stopped me from taking the stupid extra k away from magic. Moog: it's a definition thing means different things with and without the k There are over 5000 words in the English language that have two or more meanings. I've never seen a need to add "k" on the end of any of the rest of them, and I don't see a need to do so for "magic." Reading in context should make it pretty obvious which meaning you're trying to convey. <{Moogle}> I don't recall many accounts of Crowley pulling a string of flags out of a kid's ear at a birthday party. whats up? It's Hallowe'en, that's what. Indeed it is. *** FatherDog is now known as DavidMoraski2 Like my costume? * DavidMoraski2 twirls. * DavidMoraski2 really likes Halloween because it ISN'T a holiday. We don't get a day off, it's not an official holiday, it's not ANYTHING, officially. It's just a day when people happen to dress up and give each other candy. I just find that neat for some reason. triumph of the human spirit, or somesuch? Hentai: Triumph of the impulse of humans to dress up funny and gorge themselves on sugar, but yes. FD: You and your "facts" and your "logic". Pah, I say. I wish I could watch porn with my breakfast. Of course, I don't eat breakfast or food, even but still, porn first thing in the mor...afternoon... would be good. Hey, watching porn while you eat cold pizza and single-malt scotch for breakfast is a god-given right. Some days, it really pays to be on top. * FatherDog hamstrings ED. And sometimes it pays to be down a few feet. Hoss! You're such a bitch! You'd make a great queen. Moog: The high heels don't do it for me. ED: You DO seem to have the "Being great friends with cute girls but not sleeping with them" part down, though. Oh. Sorry. Hold on, ED's apologizing. We have to catch this moment on film. Moogle: Christmas is coming. Penis makes a great gift. Oh yeah. Why not give some cock to someone you love? ... Wow. I can't believe I just sai... typed that. there's so many ways to answer that I don't even know where to start Thirty second bursts. It's cool, for a wee while. Multiple ragegasms. Gotta love 'em * Mr_Self_Destruct looks at void Don't. .... don't what? Dress like silver age Robin and tapdance for us. Don't do that. It would be odd. Bad dog! No porn. Waaaaaah! * FatherDog looks at Nette with big puppy dog eyes. Damn! ... he knows my weakness. Okay. But nothing with lesbians! YAy! I wanna see death on legs! Yaaaaay. In less than 30 hours, I'll see my lovey! Hazel: And then, hot Alik lovin'! Even if he does look like Kevin Meaney with a deep tan. <{Moogle}> and the reason women think they're great liars is that men are great at pretending to buy it, for the sake of an easy life roddy piper, bugs bunny, groucho marx and the joker. my idols. <{Moogle}> Bill Hicks, Wile E. Coyote, Jesus and...um.... <{Moogle}> that may be it <{Moogle}> If I had to narrow it down to one, Bill Hicks Gilda Radner, Weird Al Yankovic, Pete Abrams, Judy Tenuta, and Ryoko. Dr. Strange, Ultraman, Steven Hawking... Posh Spice, Anthony Hopkins, Tania Hyde, John Hannah, Diana Wynne Jones, Terry Pratchett, whatsis name Larson (the t-rex guy) * FatherDog sees no reason to be ashamed of his undies. So if she has had a hysterectomy, you can trust her? spin the wheel of damnation! caution: do not taint with wyrm! see? I am hep. *** Quits: parr (Quit: I love jesus AND my giant mechanical drooling spider!) Kazz....*slap* Stop being so Kazz-like. *** Topic is 'When the creation is complete, the legos are as one, no longer individuals.' *** Set by little_sister on Sun Nov 05 15:19:43 *** {Moogle} is now known as {Moogle}[illuminatihunting] * FatherDog puts out peoples eyes with his groin. * Spyral is watching Gorillas in the Mist. Moogles in the Mist. Dancing for the entertainment of their observers... *snare* WAGH! You play "Ode to Joy" and that is pretty darn close to sex. you take one long glass, three cherries, a bottle of vodka and a pint or orange juice then you eat the cherries, drink the vodka and orange, and throw the glass at someone you don't like the look of *** Joins: parr (~neep@dsl-6413173150.atlanta.internetconnect.net) yay! living bodies! Actually, we're dead. Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssss...... * {Moogle} rolls FrD down a hill <{Moogle}> Heehee. <{Moogle}> He's like the anti-weeble * FatherDog covets Spyral's ox. <{Moogle}> Tyler Durden in 2004 Honor is for soldiers and other dead men. <{Moogle}> oh! That's what I meant to do....suggest to some mappers I know that they create a Dealey Plaza map for TFC... <{Moogle}> for the The Assassins scenario, of course. Mmm. Back and to the left. <{Moogle}> but what happens when the mappers get the plans of the area and discover that there's no way you could hit the car at that point, from that window? moogle they put int he pigeons to hold the gunners by the ankles... <{Moogle}> yeah, that could be it. LHO was using +noclip and +fly * {Moogle} exists on fresh air and light. Moog: In SCOTLAND? No wonder you're so thin. O Lelio, the Son of Oz / who, fair of skin and dark of hair / with spider tanks assaulted us / through the hole in the wall over there. And FatherDog, whose fine morals / we often find have been misplaced / has kept a log of all the malks / through which we eas'ly can be traced The {Moogle} there, his fine white fur / a-glisten in the evening glow / runs this channel, well say some / his actions offend others, though Alex Myborne, an alias / for Kit, who attends college now / a concubine to Perry? no! / it's just platonic friendship, now. Lo, Amy_chan, Canada-born / but Phoenix-bound some months ago / now shares a house with Elf and Brent / though job prospects are rather low. Too, Arioch, his manly wiles / seducing women far and near / though boasts he not of his exploits; / they are not manifold, we fear. And ChaosMage, a pest'ring sort / will talk your ear off if you let; / his self-proclaiméd "bitch-tits" flop - / he won't get any soon, we'll bet. nny isn't here right now / denying anything I say / of course, there's not much anyhow - / I know him not well, anyway. Spyral, ferret, connoiseur / of chocolate, peanuts, and TV / She wields a jizz-mop with panache / she cleans the glass so all can see We come to Venia, slim and tall / also Phoenix-bound of late / perhaps this Arizona city / draws all malks to their cruel fate *** nny-half-not-here is now known as `nny_ And nny cometh, once again / repeated, since he changed his name / we never saw poor A.D.'s map / though that's not that much of a shame I...don't...know. you know I know admit your weakness DISCUSS PORN <{Moogle}> this is the weirdest motivational speech I've ever heard Even the people we live vicariously through are boring. I LIKE debating. i either crush my opponent or i run away Pig: Crush them verbally, or do you just jump up and down on their ribs? * evilparrkachu springs up onto FD's shoulder and wispers evil yet tempting ideas into his ear * FatherDog follows the suggestions immediately. * evilparrkachu rubs its little black hands together. * evilparrkachu suggests to FD that the guy stacking boxes in the corner would walk a lot more intrestingly if he didn't have any kneecaps * FatherDog grabs a crowbar and performs impromptu surgery. * evilparrkachu scampers down, places the kneecaps in its chubby cheeks, and returns to FD's shoulder Mmmm mmm chu....*slurp* * FatherDog giggles. . o O (darn. he's not walking funny at all! he's just sort of writhing on the floor!) Yeah. Stupid guy. * FatherDog kicks him. Why aren't you walking funny? Amuse us! * parrticle exhorts FD's Contagious Liver System * FatherDog 's contagious liver system... does stuff. He thinks. Moog: Trigun is a sort of Old West style anime... set on a different planet in the future. <{Moogle}> Bravestarr? Moogle: Die. fucking fucko <{Moogle}> Clown Porn, hentai? So I picked up a box of "Rage: the Umbra" expansion cards, unopened, for $1 at the convention. I imagine there's $1 worth of art on the cards worth scanning in. once I do that, anyone want them? okay, well I figured I'd ask around before I threw them away YOU CAN'T THROW THEM AWAY!!! Spyral: why not? parrticle: Because it's naughty! Someone worked real hard on those cards! ...no, no they didn't. No one worked real hard on Rage. It was knocked out in about a week by people huffing glue. hentai: I was thinking more of youknow, boiling the unbaptized baby to get their fat for flying potion Moogle: the Warlock in warlock was hot. parrticle: ý? I don't need to go to the bathroom right now... TWX: you wil..muhahha...you will... eat! my! cookies! <{Moogle}> .... <{Moogle}> Abandon ship <{Moogle}> It's all suddenly gotten too strange * {Moogle} typed out a long answer to that, but then realised he couldn't be arsed going through this again. Whee. * little_sister how bad it is if the pages of one's cookbooks stick together. sis: It either means you should keep it in a drier place, or you get a little too excited about cooking.; * FatherDog dispatches winged monkeys to Tempe. Go forth! Bring back the little sister! *** Joins: sleazy_pancake (sleazy_pan@AC986F9C.ipt.aol.com) ... That doesn't look like Em to ME. Stupid monkeys. if I was sexy and evil, i'd buy those vampire eye contacts. <{Moogle}> iron man <{Moogle}> iron man <{Moogle}> does whatever <{Moogle}> an iron can <{Moogle}> flattens shirts <{Moogle}> any size <{Moogle}> presses trousers <{Moogle}> even flies <{Moogle}> watch out <{Moogle}> here comes the iron man fresh, purple ass! * EquusDeus clutches Dog to him, loving him roughly with an armadillo. why do they always floss you like they want to rip your teeth out at the dentist's? parr: Because they're impatient and having their fingers in your mouth disgusts them? * BigJobbs , oddly enough, makes a mean Lasagna "grarlakrlrlrllrllr!!" *noodles waver menaclingly* SODOMY! (just thought i'd break the silence) Fuck continuity. All great directors do. That and the leading lady. * little_sister puts a pig on Spy's head... Now...don't drop it, girl. Piggy pig! pig pig pig and pigs and kittons. * little_sister removes Kazz's brain for the duration of this. I will keep it safe with the penii and Omni's various sticks penii suit!!! * little_sister grins and hugs her head pig. I have a head pig as well. piggy pig, pig pig pig pig! Kidneys and pigs!! ... ...sadly, this conversation still makes more sense than the one I was listening to before I got here. I want to be a comparative mythologist. So what does a comparative mythologist do? "Loki rules, Balder sucks. "Anyone that gets killed by mistletoe has got to be a complete loser." <{Moogle}> ahh <{Moogle}> petrol <{Moogle}> that reminds me, I've got something I have to do... Moog: Another house interfering with your view of the seaside? <{Moogle}> Jack The Ripper was an American quack named Dr. Tumblety. Whee. <{Moogle}> Sorted. They finally proved it? <{Moogle}> They can't totally prove anything nowadays, as any definitive forensic evidence has long since been spoiled... <{Moogle}> but all these experts seem to agree, ever since some bookseller found some long lost papers and turned them over 'cos he didn't know what they were all about. Bit of a disappointment, really. He was the first real serial killer, or at least the first one known as such. Putting a real name and face to him seems to spoil something iconic. Anthony has wonderful ideas for stories. It's too bad he can't write worth a damn. He's like a real-life Kilgore Trout, except without the wandering around shoeless and being assaulted by deranged car salesmen. talk! * FatherDog does pantomime. * FatherDog is holding a rope... * FatherDog is trapped in a box... * DerF waits for "walking against the wind". * FatherDog is walk...dammit, DerF, no anticipating. Errr.... right. Did someone leave the psychedelics out again? We seem to have a lot of spare insanity today. I keep waking up in the middle of the night, hungry...does this mean I'm inhabited by a shifting, mindless force of evil? Maybe. ...or, alternately, it might mean you should just have a snack before bed. *** Topic is '160 People create secret chat room in CIA's computer system for exchanging classified information.. Runs for fifteen years before being detected. Says it all, really.' *** Set by {Moogle} on Sat Dec 02 23:17:29 Our teacher just had a local Imam in to talk to the class. He spent a good ten minutes on how Freemasons control the government and media, and that's why Islam has a bad image in America. He also made a professional wrestling reference. I came out of the class thinking "If there were ever a man that could convert fiend to Islam..." <{Moogle}> quoting out of context r0xx0r Europe is the real world? *** Quits: {Moogle} (Quit: lebowski time. Like miller time, but more slavic.) I'm discouraged! * {Moogle} encourages clio with a warning shot * clio growls. It's scary, I promise. * {Moogle} is fleeting, like a thingy in the wotsit I, on the other hand, am eternal. In a temporary sort of way. erk. I don't believe in marriage <{Moogle}> Oh, I can assure you that it exists. fiend: why have you not come forth to my house to get Acrobat and porn? * FatherDog suddenly has a vivid image of a spiderweb with copies of adobe acrobat and porn strung through it like little Christmas ornaments, with fiend buzzing uncertainly near the outskirts. * Amaya speaks very slowly between the hours of 9 and 5 I go to an office where I perform services for an hourly wage and no not those kind of services you sick monkey * Omni_Flux blames fiend for events which have yet to occur. It saves time. I like Jeremy Irons, but subtle is not in the man's nature. "i shall scream at the sky! i am evil!! i will destroy them all!! i hope no one's listening by the gates because they'll hear me!!!! shake fist at sky oooh i am evil!" <{Moogle}> Ah, here we are. Mal'akh: Messenger of the gods. so what's he got to say then? <{Moogle}> something about smiting the Canaanites and dashing the young ones against rocks. <{Moogle}> I stopped listening, to be honest. drones on a bit does he? <{Moogle}> Well, partly <{Moogle}> But the lisp makes it really hard to take him seriously. <{Moogle}> Methenger of the godth, indeed. Love is 24 pointy bits digging into your flesh My funk is the funk of a thousand generations. My groove is the groove of a million wailing souls. My jive is the jive of a planet looooonng way gone. Fear my grandmaster funk, daddyo. * parr hugs the tentacle monster. Meat is meat...once you get down to it, if you cut it off, grind it up, and cook it with onion, who's to say if it's chicken, beef, or caucasian? Penises aren't sentient. I'm trying to -reason- with you. Now I'm going to actually use my brain. Wait. *click* whirrrr Chaos: How can you be any sort of competent geek and not seen Transformers the Movie?! SLAY THEM MAKE GARLIC BREAD FROM THEIR CORPSES * KowaiPoliteTentacleMonster throws Omni_Naga into the midst of alt.sex.chicken.bukkaw.bukkaw.bukkaw. For me, it's feedback. If people give you stuff they think you'll need, you can form a good idea of how you've presented yourself that past year. omni: in that case, I must be presenting myself as naked, cause all I get is clothes *** Topic is 'KowaiPoliteTentacleMonster: I'm 'leeter than any of you fools. I got myself a two 'leeter bottle right here. - Omni: Mmm...Liquid L33+' *** Set by parr on Mon Dec 11 17:03:46 *** Topic is '"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."' *** Set by {Moogle} on Wed Dec 13 21:51:01 * Amaya worships at the temple of dog * Lorelei_McCaine pats Moog on the head <{Moogle}> the self-destruct button... * {Moogle} ticks * {Moogle} shudders, the ticking stops, and a flag pops out of one ear on a stick, and unfurls to read "BOOM" moogles a dud. wait. where have i heard that said before? oh. never mind. <{Moogle}> well? <{Moogle}> Got something to share with the class, mr. fiend? no. i had that treated. its not infectious any more. <{Moogle}> Gah...oil change..that's what I meant to do today... Moog: You have a car? <{Moogle}> Not quite. You seen Tetsuo: The Iron Man or The Bodyhammer? <{Moogle}> (yes, I have a car) Wishbone teaches about Bacchus today. Amy: ...the mental image that evokes is illegal in most states. <{Moogle}> YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE * {Moogle} whips out a flintlock pistol <{Moogle}> I am the dandy highwayman. <{Moogle}> Or not. <{Moogle}> But for the sake of argument, we'll assume I am, as I'm robbing you. my life then, 'cause I have no money <{Moogle}> ...Bah. Useless. <{Moogle}> NEXT? * the_fiend hands out a halloween sack to moogle. * {Moogle} shoots fiend in the foot * {Moogle} spends five minutes reloading <{Moogle}> Just wait there. Be right with you. I had a dream about rabid dogs last nite. <{Moogle}> were they pursuing you? No, I was actually running up to try to catch them cuz they shouldn't have been running around near traffic, and one of them was rabid so I backed away slowly and ended up in a shop. <{Moogle}> "To dream of dogs barking and pursuing you denotes lust, but if you pursue them it means the opposite." - Thomas Tryon ... <{Moogle}> I know. Unlikely. What's the opposite of lust? Spy: parr. That's because New Jersey is Hades sis: This from someone who deliberately moved in with Omni? <{Moogle}> all lesbians have lots of friends. They all get together at night and form a great big fuckball like mating snakes. ok..Qwest may suck my dick ...where do you keep it? In a glass jar on your desk? ...or is Omni holding it for you? ...y'know, I think a good half of our problems with 3rd edition are Thing's fault. He manages to always pick the absolute STUPIDEST-sounding way to explain things. "Dude, that was exactly why Balki was THE perfect stranger." "The other dude was a stranger too, though!" Eliza: Oh, girls aren't invited to this game, apparently. clio: ARe too! Thing's playing! Ah, malicious and not even very witty. *** Joins: the_fiend (turner23@203.20.133.161) talk of Chaos' mantits is SO far from what i wanted to hear What a line for fiend to enter on... Not that there's ever a good way for fiend to enter... ... ...eugh. Power. Responsi...oh, never mind. Power, whee. Go nuts. I need to find a job that buys me dinner. <{Moogle}> Hooker. <{Moogle}> Sorry, "male escort". <{Moogle}> Y'know what I hate? <{Moogle}> Members of other races and creeds. <{Moogle}> They're not chosen by god, like us white christians. <{Moogle}> Yeah. Moog: Are you trying to get ED acclimated to Kentucky faster? Stupid fucking scot. <{Moogle}> Arr <{Moogle}> Smarter than the average yank. * {Moogle} steals alla yer pickernick baskets <{Moogle}> People within 2 years of me don't seem to be aging <{Moogle}> they just look the same as they always did <{Moogle}> but below that, I see kids getting older, and above that I see dinosaurs rattling their way towards the grave. <{Moogle}> y'know who live in trailer parks? <{Moogle}> Gypsies. <{Moogle}> Now the Ravnos don't look so fecking smooth, eh? *** Topic is 'Please inquire about our pimping service!' *** Set by {Moogle} on Wed Jan 17 16:01:27 Most people in #malkavians would be a crappy gene base. Just about everyone here is severely emotionally imblanced or has some sort of congenital defect. I perfer to think of them as "congenial" defects *** Quits: Riahanna (Quit: Blessed are the cracked. They shall let in the light.) aww aww? you still have us and yet you aww? fliend, your presence is like the morning sun, bringing life to the earth ed is the madness of the silvery moon but ria is a shooting star that visits but too shortly in our lives thus, I aww parr: What'm I? fd: you are the dark and strange noises that emit from under the hood of a possessed automobile that fill the listener's mind with strange and hypnotic shinings from blades Everybody else is celestials, and I get pegged as Christine? Moogle: Yeah, well it also turns out that a statue that we typically visit, and I had been planning on going to tomorrow isn't quite what I thought. It's apparently a charm for fertility, rather than luck as I thought. <{Moogle}> Well, they're sort of related. ...albeit in a negative sense, sometimes. <{Moogle}> Hate leads to suffering. <{Moogle}> Suffering leads to nipple rash * DrAndy cries, and buys a whore. Peps: Visit New Jersey! It's scenic! No! Visit Atlanta! It's nice! ED's lying! Atlanta is full of ass-raping rednecks! And Jersey is filled with Toxic waste. Toxic waste builds character! <{Moogle}> Ass-raping builds character <{Moogle}> You've seen Oz. They've all got great depth of character, and hardly an episode goes by without someone getting it up the wrong 'un. <{Moogle}> Go Ricki <{Moogle}> Go Ricki <{Moogle}> No, further <{Moogle}> Keep going. <{Moogle}> We'll tell you when to stop. send her for a long walk... over a very sharp cattle grid... wearing a very heavy hat. -CherryPep:#malkavians- back soon it won't seem like a second particularly on a geological timescale Padre! Anything odd happen here recently? We're in a vaguely-located warehouse, directions to which are only availabe unconsciously through the Cobweb, full of certifiably insane vampires, many of which can break the laws of physics. What exactly do you consider "odd?" It works for me, but I'm remarkably pretty. Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence. We're supposed to have /confidence/ in you? That's not in my notes. <{Moogle}> People seem to like eating me. Moogle: You play a drunk scott too well <{Moogle}> I AM NOT A SCOTT, YOU FUCKIN' BANJOPICKER ugh... tired... <{Moogle}> lick my nipples <{Moogle}> they contain sleep juice {Moogle}: no thanks... I don't need sleep juice... <{Moogle}> YOU'LL GET THE SLEEP JUICE AND LIKE IT, WHORE * {Moogle} squirts sedating fluid from his nipples across the room at TWX I just got an email with the subject line "!!!FREE PREGNANT!!!". Now, I'm not sure what this is advertising - liberation of those who are gravid? no-cost baby-making? - but I'm terrified to open it. <{Moogle}> Shaft couldn't win a fight against The Olsen Twins if they were strapped to a chair and he had a chainsaw. <{Moogle}> Shaft just gets the shit kicked out of him every time it comes down to the wire. <{Moogle}> Panthro, on the other hand, is a badass <{Moogle}> Bugger. Where was I? Go-go Gadget memory. Good tidings Padre. May mortal men sacrifice their daughters to your cause...or bed. Dick: It gets better. ...no, worse. That's what I meant. Worse. Moog: Have you heard about the new pirate movie? <{Moogle}> No...whassit? It's rated Arrrrrrrrrrrr. *rimshot* * FatherDog flees and hides. <{Moogle}> ...heh... ...that joke is best set up with an absolutely straight face, and best followed up by a hasty escape. <{Moogle}> You want the truth? <{Moogle}> YOU CAN'T HAN...oh, you can. i think i'm just fundamentally nice. it sucks ;) So what's new in the primitive wilds of Alabama? I'm in Mississippi. More "s"'s, same thing. *** Topic is 'I don't /need/ prozac, I just like the taste...' *** Set by {Moogle} on Sat Feb 03 20:07:51 FD:I want to hear you explain. All i've heard is ness explaining them, and she's got all the descriptive skills of a dying wallaby * Spyral_AFK attacks wild pasta and subdues it. Yay coal dust and affection! the secret to rasing children - at least in a steam era society! <{Moogle}> tired of all these damn mongooses <{Moogle}> mongeese <{Moogle}> mongice monks on ice! coming this sunday to the Jacky Gleason Auditorium, it's Monks on Ice! Thrill as the Daramuphatsunara Tibetian monks perform on skates ! Thrill as Fracescian brothers perform (whatever that thing is where they hit each other) on ice! I dunno, I tire of meaty humans I want them to shatter or melt or something true! many an emulated game have I played <{Moogle}> sure, the atmosphere isn't nearly as good as standing in a darkened arcade surrounded by Triads and male prostitutes, with a pocket full of 10p coins and a plethora of games to choose from... <{Moogle}> ..cigarette burns on the casing...broken buttons...generic or wrong casings to games... <{Moogle}> ahh... <{Moogle}> nostalgia <{Moogle}> heheheh...fishermen on the south coast of Australia netted one of the rarest critters in the briny deep...a giant squid with 12ft long tentacles.. <{Moogle}> Remember to hint to fiend that cthulhu's on his way Yes, Ere is dating Ophe. That girl DOES tend to leave a trail of bodies behind her... Alex: Just think about when they eventually break up. Erehwon, as portrayed by ED. Buddhadog: BWAHAHAHA! Zen sulleness. The Tao of Stalking. * FatherDog plays life as a game, because he has no assurance that it's not... it's a fun game, at any rate. parr: I'm a creature of habit, really. FD: you'd be so easy to stalk! * parr goes to live her dream...or mabe just dream it :) <{Moogle}> No, no...you have to blend in <{Moogle}> with the bustling throng <{Moogle}> otherwise the Langoliers come and eat you <{Moogle}> *bustle bustle* <{Moogle}> like that, see? oh, like in an RPG? * parr walks randomly around the town * {Moogle} says the same phrase over and over, regardless of the four heavily armed rich strangers who keep trying to start a conversation <{Moogle}> How can I help you? <{Moogle}> BUY SELL EXIT NO, you can't buy more than 1 of an item at the time. We don't do things that way around here! <{Moogle}> Arr, I may be a poor humble shopkeeper living in the ass end of the world, but I can afford to pay 75000000gp if you wish to sell me yer Sword of Ultimate Attack Lemming Star Power <{Moogle}> ...and I live in a mud hut. <{Moogle}> Arr, heroes. <{Moogle}> Who needs 'em? <{Moogle}> and if they turn up at your village near the end of a disc, it's probably not a good idea to hang around if you see some CG approaching. <{Moogle}> Grabs your stuff and get the hell out of dodge, I say. * ^chris_ dementackles dog into the land of wind and ghosts <{Moogle}> unofficial brawling pit <{Moogle}> I mean, malkmeet Moog: Generic greeting. Inquiry into health and circumstances. <{Moogle}> Standard noncommital reply. Satisfied non-word utterance. i need a nice, and harsh mental cleansing or a sandwhich * Grider beats the crap out of ED for no good reason I feel better ...If ED's actually here, I suspect that will immediately be followed by feeling much, much worse. yay for sexual repression! Why yay, parr? flew: cause I'm parr and that's what parrs do! <{Moogle}> I hope to see a dark tsunami of hatred in my mailbox within the next 24 hours <{Moogle}> Wars being plotted, armies gathering, banners raised. <{Moogle}> Rock. Where the hell have you been? <{Moogle}> I've been in Eccentric, with occasional trips to the suburbs of Depressed and Manic. * {Moogle} lolls bonelessly * {Moogle} slides off the couch onto a heap on the floor <{Moogle}> too...chilled out...must...be less...laid back....but....can't...be..bothered... Ya know, it's just so damn obvious now. Not obvious, but interesting, at least. I wonder. Why in hell didn't I think of, try out, and discard this idea before? Now I'll have waste all sorts of time in the present. <{Moogle}> Dunno. <{Moogle}> Maybe you're a bit thick or something. I think the black cat across the street is my new nemesis. Too bad this stupid apt. complex doesn't support recycling. Now I have to go dump all of my glass somewheres. <{Moogle}> I suggest children's playgrounds <{Moogle}> Scatter it around the swings and chutes in 1987 on a monday About 5x10^14 supernova neutrinos passed through your body <{Moogle}> I remember that. <{Moogle}> It was itchy. <{Moogle}> I still have some of them in a small box <{Moogle}> A really small box. <{Moogle}> That's old age catching up with you, missus. <{Moogle}> People of your advancing years are supposed to spend their evenings playing bingo and knitting, not connecting to the extradimensional funk vibe. It's a small world, but not small enough. We need teleportation technology. I was a bit more low key. It's tough to hit on people when you have occasional coughing fits. I suppose I could try and work that Ukyo charm, but that's a little tenuous. *** {Moogle} changes topic to '"France: Nation of wankers."' <{Moogle}> Things are not what they were. They never are. <{Moogle}> ...they don't call her Lightnin' Spyral, the quickest ferret in the west for nothing <{Moogle}> Or at all. <{Moogle}> *CHOO* <{Moogle}> ... <{Moogle}> my brain.. * {Moogle} scrapes his brain off the monitor and snuffles it back up into his head Moog: You need to eat more glue. *** Joins: slinkichu (tamarajald@HubD-mcr-24-92-82-77.midsouth.rr.com) <{GM}> 'lo slinki <{GM}> ...I almost typed "'lo slim shady" <{GM}> Weird * slinkichu would've pimpslapped your mangina ass <{GM} = {Moogle}> *** Joins: bolie (dgshsdfgh@172.161.111.167) back for a second..deranged wife is threatening me with a fork if i dont let her check her email so i must go very very shortly <{Moogle}> is she saying "I want to fork you"? <{Moogle}> Maybe you're just not paying enough attention Maybe she just to be sure you don't fill up with steaming juices And burst like a potato. now she's poking me with a fork to see where these elusive "Steaming juices" are coming from. * bolie collapses in pain, as that was his pancreas. * FatherDog gives sis a small bag with a $ on the outside, printed in green. oooo * little_sister gets a stick and pushes the bag open It's filled with jam! FD: What is it with you and jam lately? DerF: Jam is yummy. * EDG inches slowly away from FD. Oi, Lelio. How go things in your savage but noble homeland? We scrape by, licking clean the pelts of last winter's kill. Soon, soon...we'll be able to hunt, again. And all the world will shiver at the sound of our horn-cries. Sort of. I'm a social butterfly. You see. So I'm given to understand. As Amaya seems intent on placing you in a specimen jar. Also in Lelio's life: swing dancing, sword fighting, ancient history, latin, and the law. You're getting a wonderful education for your future job as a Reformation-era European nobleman. Is ED making less sense than usual today? <{Moogle}> It's kinda hard to tell * {Moogle} puts duct tape over his nipples <{Moogle}> I'm not to be milked <{Moogle}> Unsafe for human consumption. <{Moogle}> You've been spending too much time with Amaya. Er. I haven't actually seen her since December. I'm sure she still exists. In some form or another. (personal bet: as some form of brain-in-a-jar-atop-mechanical-legs creature, i think) ...what sort of makeup is appropriate to jar-lighting? S'funny what you remember. <{Moogle}> s'funnier what you don't <{Moogle}> like all those bright lights filling the room, then it's four hours later and..and... <{Moogle}> and something. <{Moogle}> There's nothing quite so surreal as coming home drunk at 8am, turning on the TV, and having a kettle singing at you in gaelic. <{Moogle}> We proud, shining examples of goodness and morality may look down upon those filthy substance abusers. They are beneath us. They are clearly inferior, because many of our friends in the media say they are. They tell us things that our friends in the media say aren't true, and try to lure us into their pit of depravity by suggesting that we experiment and see for ourselves how 'harmless' their vice is. <{Moogle}> I say we burn them. * Riahanna pours her beer all over her white t-shirt and dances for Chaos. <{Moogle}> Classy. Hey, in Alabama that's considered performance art. If she adds tassels she could be up for a grant. * little_sister throws something at Moogle You are a bad man <{Moogle}> I am not, I just get bad press <{Moogle}> from people like you <{Moogle}> You'll have to be silenced. I need a COFFEE!!! <{Moogle}> You need strapped down and tranquilised. <{Moogle}> ...I should think before I speak. <{Moogle}> But then I'd lose all my...whaddyacallit... <{Moogle}> charm. <{Moogle}> No, not charm. <{Moogle}> Teeth. * FatherDog gave up Catholicism for Lent. It seems to be working. * FatherDog gives wired a funny hat. really? A funny hat? Well, no, not really. It's actually a piece of paper with "Funny hat" written on it. In crayon. * parr just can't wait to be drugged, flipped and anilyized * {Moogle} bites his tongue Superparr! Superme? <{Moogle}> Mediocreme. <{Moogle}> Aghk, that sounds like a topical medication. If you are breathing or have a pulse, you should not use Mediocreme. <{Moogle}> Tsk. Ya don't GET softly-spoken Daleks, parr. <{Moogle}> "Excuse me, might we possibly exterminate all life on your planet? There's a good chap." <{Moogle}> *sink plunger and egg whisk death* "chip chip cherrio. death to all inferior lifeforms and all that. tally ho." now come down here from those stairs, where it's nice and flat, that's a chap. lovely. *zap* And my head now contains an indelible picture of a Dalek with a monocle and bowler hat. let's here it for mild depression! " *chirp chirp* *wistful sigh* <{Moogle}> parr: maybe they're not saying anything in japanese, or they're talking rubbish just to mess with people <{Moogle}> I did it in high school to one of our student teachers who was from France...always good for a laugh. <{Moogle}> "So, what deed choo do at ze weekend?" ""Well, I flash giraffe cardboard until Jamie and me sockpuppet yellow plastic wipe but not without the mahogany." I also remember, forgive me if I repeat myself, this one child I saw at a mcdonalds (in the medical center block, so you see a lot of patients) and he had a large head. Not only that but there were 4 bumps, swellings on his head, paired off and perfectly symetrical, and no hair on them. and I just looked and thought "what a lovely alien child". I thought that for at least 2 or 3 seconds before I realized that there are not aliens on eart and it was a human kid. <{Moogle}> Yea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of goth, you shall strut like a pimp and seek no approval from man nor beast. <{Moogle}> Be strong, hang loose. Amen. The sacred and profane frequently gives way to the inane, 'round these parts. I don't like being described as "warm and fuzzy, but with a hard centre". * little_sister plays the Name Game..not nearly as interesting as the Crying Game, but she puts on a penis to spice things up a bit <{Moogle}> IT'S A KILLCRAZY RAMPAGE! * {Moogle} bursts through a window and starts assaulting people with a chainsaw <{Moogle}> I mean, howdy. * {Moogle} drools a viscous mixture of blood and saliva onto someone's head Poor someone. Poor, poor someone. THAT's caring <{Moogle}> You could say that. <{Moogle}> You'd be very wrong, but you could say it. It's been how long? Let me be wrong. And bring on the skullfucking. <{Moogle}> the word "chocolate" tempts me <{Moogle}> but I'm giving up eating for 2001 <{Moogle}> I think it's probably bad for me. not eating is worse <{Moogle}> Not eating is fine. <{Moogle}> Away with your specious 'science' malarky, woman. Imagine, if you will, me walking down Mill Avenue, our local promenade. I'm in tight vinyl pants and a vinyl overcoat, on my way northward towards a particularly keen fetish shop. At this point, I am accosted by no less than four young ruffians in University garb, obviously American college football types. One approaches me, and asks quite snidely, "dude, do you dress like that to get attention?" I look at him, and with my usual bold demeanor, respond "Of course. Don't you?" He looks somewhat taken aback, retorting with "no." To which I quickly parry, "Then why DO you dress like that?" "To look cool". I reply with "Explain, in 250 words or less, how 'looking cool' and 'getting attention' are different", sticking my hands up and making the 'quotes' gesture to emphasize. He looks at me dumbly for about 10 seconds, then begins "er... umm... uh... dude, what the fuck?" Note that with each syllable, I'm holding my hands up and raising another finger, counting his words. He then glares and asks, "Dude, are you some sort of fucking homosexual?" My response: "Well, *I*'m not the one following strange men in tight pants around, am I?" * BigJobbs wishes that he had someone he caould have candlelight dinners and talk of DVD encoding with would anyone happen to have a picture of a surfboard? preferablly, standing up vertical-ish unfortunately not - I'm not in a owning-pictures-of-upright-surfboards place in my life right now. *** Joins: ChaosMage (PSI@hc6526393.dhcp.vt.edu) heyas chaos :) Amaya: You can't be glad to see me. fuck off then chaos :| better? mom: "did they take off every zag?" parr: "No, that's 'zig'" mom: "I've taken off all /my/ 'zigs'" Parr: "Mom!" I fully admit I'm a terrible dancer... I look like someone trying to conduct an orchestra whilst shuffling back and forth. fiend dances like a marionette headbanging it's very odd <{Moogle}> I know exactly how Amaya dances <{Moogle}> I can tell. <{Moogle}> same way Kelly Atkinson does every time she hits the dancefloor. Alright, that's not too useful for you, but *I* know what I mean. * amoonshdw is now rather confused * amoonshdw realizes it's somehow a rather comfortating state of mind moons: So we've found. Enjoy the comforting warm fog. * little_sister dances the happy dance of potential sexing. cheese!!!! gots to have cheese!!! <{Moogle}> sis: gots to have thorazine, by the sound of it. fd: probably a billion or more people don't have cable or internet parr: I mean in AMERICA. Foreigners aren't people. They're soulless biological machines, like dogs! That's why Americans are allowed to exploit other countries. We're God's people. * Blankie_ooc grabs moog <{Moogle}> GET OFF ME DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T EVER TOUCH ME * {Moogle} decapitates Blankie <{Moogle}> Hands away from the swimsuit area, if you please. <{Moogle}> Mr. Russian Fingers. So moog, what do you think of my art? <{Moogle}> Is it edible? <{Moogle}> Good art is always edible. i have a shoebox full-o-pork brains <{Moogle}> Pork doesn't have brains. <{Moogle}> They make pork in factories out of pocket fluff and beetles. <{Moogle}> I saw it on the news. I thought the meat fairy brought ham in the morning? <{Moogle}> The Meat Fairy is a gay club in downtown Sheffield. <{Moogle}> Possibly. <{Moogle}> If not, it ought to be. * {Moogle} beats Flewellyn into the ground with a 12lb Nephilim penis <{Moogle}> There were giants on the earth in those days. * EquuZilla teaches slinki how to smile. With her throat. Ear to ear. yup. god loves sluts. * beachball_parr waits in a concert venue, sure it will be picked up and tossed around - the ultimate 'rush' for beach balls throw me! throw meeee Fresh! Delicious hot or cold! Every desire and sensation in one little cup...with a bit of sugar added! Bloodiade: Feed the Beast (tm)! hey! microsoft money 2001 will "help me plan for the unexpected"... Like being eaten by rabid gophers? "The Being Eaten by Rabid Gophers Wizard will help you with your experience. Please click next to continue" *hand struggling up from the ground, covered in blood, left clicks "First, please choose the type of Rabid Gophers that are attacking you..." ( ) North American Gophers ( ) Grandgfer's Gophers ( ) Golden Gophers Next, choose the time of the attack: ( ) in the future ( ) right bloody now ( ) 35 seconds ago Should I actually read the Sandman? or will it turn me into a Goth? djenna: You'd probably like Sandman. And as Alex once remarked, you're about as goth as my desk chair. Dog - But... but... I'm pretty ... whiny. make characters that will make me weep with joy. * FatherDog can probably handle the weep part. Joy might be a little further off. penile implants that let you shoot beer or lightning! GURPS Godzilla? A gritty roleplaying game of portraying sweaty Japanese men in rubber suits portraying giant lizards? I will revel in Atlanta... until it get hot and muggy and I asphyxiate, I shall have Cartoon Network, and if I do not, I will walk downtown and punch Ted Turner in the throat. <{Moogle}> I'm a diva. You know you want it. * FatherDog demands Alex help him make Lemming Man. With the uncanny ability to survive falls from high places. And the mysterious power to cause people to follow him en masse. how does he survive these falls? Bouncing? Ah...perhaps someone with a nasty case of Asperger's Syndrome "fascination with fantasy worlds and arcane facts, ability with maths and science, physical awkwardness or clumsiness, an unusual gait, hyper activity but with an ability to focus on interesting problems for hours, poor social understanding, hyperverbal activity, and an appearance of eccentricity or insensitivity." deals with problems by either cataloguing them or retreating into a fantasy world where they make sense aka Geek Autism * FatherDog tries to avoid pointing at Alex. * MausMobile is surprised by these spaghettios... What do they do, dance? Alex: You always wanted a womb. FatherDog makes me feel like god is perched above us, chuckling at the silly mortals. Maus: It's a common perception. subdued goths are pale because they're afraid of the sunlight, not because they're wearing more pancake than a clown. Ahem. yes oh pasty one? * Mi-Go wonders what skills a jedi hunter would need to have. Luck? A very strong trachea? * the_fiend returns from crushing cardboard with his bare hands. fiend: You are manly and huge. no. i'm weak and worn out. it took me two minutes on one box. it had staples. fiend: Oh. You are weak and girly. ..... yes. * the_fiend sits and crimps his hair that's right! the world is our bitch! * Mi-Go slaps Mexico in the face with mighty horse dick of America. you just hogtapped mexico? next, I'll donkey punch Italy. "your mission, gentlemen, is to fly to the Ghasshola system and... yes, Snark, what is it now?" "um, Sir, we don't have a spaceship, can we borrow yours?" "No, Snark, you may not. Your new mission is to service my wife while I'm blowing up Imperials with MY spaceship's guns." "Snark, you and your men have to protect this luxury liner from sabotage. What? The name of the ship? The Gigantic or something, Supposed to be indestructable. Here are your tickets." "Snark, we're counting on you to help the Wookie liberate Kashyyk. We can't supply much in the way of supplies, but we understand there's a vibrant underground movement. Did I mention the mission is undercover? here are you wookie costumes." clio: so, when are you coming to french kiss me? In your dreams. :) not my dreams. in MY dreams, Natalie Portman and Jennifer Love Hewitt take turns french kissing me and each other. <{Moogle}> and of course, I really hate FrD, Alex, Clio and Thing <{Moogle}> ...I imean... <{Moogle}> I I I iiiiiiinevermind * FatherDog leaps upon Moogle and gives him passionate oral pleasuring. <{Moogle}> I've changed my mind about padre. <{Moogle}> He knows how to please a moogle. * clio licks Moogle's feet. <{Moogle}> Clio's coming along nicely... * Mi-Go stomps on Moogle's head until he bleeds. <{Moogle}> Alex still doesn't quite get it, though. why? spiders aren't bad. I mean, all the wyrm-tainted ones did were sit there and be spikey. <{Moogle}> I DON'T CARE! <{Moogle}> they could be crocheting hats for underprivileged kids for all I fucking care! <{Moogle}> burn them! * TheWyrm has this terrible image of a Wookie with a perm. * Nette_ baps Dog. I realize that there's always someone who's gotta be right and someone who's gotta be wrong. I don't recall applying for permanent "wrong" status. ;) *** parr changes topic to ' Parr's going to visit me in Atlanta and get me bisexual women.' Dog, would you explain to him what you're supposed to do when gorgeous caribbean older women give you lap dances? Moog: When gorgeous caribbean older women give you lap dances, you're supposed to lay some pipe. SEE?! moron. <{Moogle}> My penis is made of coral, due to an unfortunate lab accident. you know. NOBODY joined the rebellion simply for political reasons. it's all 'The Empire did this to me', the 'Empire did that to me'. Alex: Change "Rebellion" to and "Empire" to buddhadog: fine. um, the British ran over my dog, and drove my steak sandwich stand out of business, so I'm going to try to overthrow them in favor of my colonial government! Alex: More like, The British taxes are fucking up MY business, so I'll fix their fucking wagon. Revolution time, you limey faggots. buddhadog: that's actually a semi-political reason. Nobody in the rebellion does anything like that. if they don't fuck you over personally, you don't join. Alex: That's because people are complacent, unless motivated by demagogues. And demagogues tend to get shot in the Empire. Witness the lack of a civil rights movement until Martin Luther King Jr. started making good speeches. Well, bad example, since he got shot here, too. But they get shot FASTER in the Empire. I dunno, just seems a bit unsophisticated. <{Moogle}> That's mammals for you. yeah, but I'm a shrill bitch. Alex:beat her with sticks till she loves you <{Moogle}> I have hurty fists all ready. Moogle: hurty fists? <{Moogle}> Hurty fists. For hurting other people with. <{Moogle}> They really work. No batteries required. Come, we shall pop some corn and watch the genocide. Orks are better than women. Women don't date me and I can masturbate to porn. I think the Orks have come out ahead in the fun scale. Plague on ye filthy elves! Alex: You're my friend! Friends do nice things for friends! Equus: Really? * Mi-Go looks suspicious. I'll have to have my men look into that. q&a is over. bitch. * Mi-Go was enjoying showing off his big brain. Nah. Jupiter pisses me off. Nette: Touch Alex's ass. He'll make funny noises <{Moogle}> blood will flow <{Moogle}> bones will crack <{Moogle}> flowers will bloom <{Moogle}> ...wait...scratch that last one <{Moogle}> Y'know, with the way I love seeing Japan getting cunted royally by fire, flood, earthquake, demons, nukes and 400ft Gorilla-Lizards, you'd think I'd enjoy anime more. * FatherDog wonders if his love of poppy seed rolls for sandwiches could be the start of an opium addiction. <{Moogle}> wouldn't it be tempting, when being knighted, to stand up, headbutt the Queen and claim the throne as your own, since you'd defeated her in single combat? <{Moogle}> until the guards arrive and machinegun you into catfood, anyway The Queen? Current one? ... I'd kick her ass. FD:....i see somone's going to be following the creed of the dark. Dick: No, I thought I'd be a good, pure embodiment of rape. Good old Rape. God loves it. * Nette_ shrugs and doesn't mind the ass thing. <{Moogle}> Nette needs cock. Does SqueeFee need the same? Possibly, but that's not the issue here. The secret being that women are different. yeah, Dog sounds like a consumer. an endless void into which the world flows in an unceasing flow of pleasure. ARRRRG! Anyone?! someone talk to me! <{Moogle}> We don't exist, Ian. <{Moogle}> None of this is real <{Moogle}> you went mad years ago, after that incident in Maine <{Moogle}> you've been scratching at the walls of your little seven foot cube room for so long that you've constructed this elaborate fantasy world. You really shoudl congratulate yourself on the level of detail. <{Moogle}> Or, alternatively, you haven't. Ladies Love Cool Mi-Go. well, we will, of course, have crack vending machines. Oooh, bile. Part of a balanced breakfast. <{Moogle}> Hrmph. Pirate tv....it's good, but it's usually so short... <{Moogle}> people running around setting fire to things, ranting against the government, censorship, Media For Money and..and...stuff. Funny, though. * FatherDog would rather see REAL pirate TV. Next at 7, the popular game show, "Who Wants to Get Keelhauled?" <{Moogle}> ED's currently at some sort of mardi gras thing. <{Moogle}> possibly <{Moogle}> or maybe that was yesterday <{Moogle}> in fact, perhaps I dreamt it I want a crack vending machine everywhere you'd find a coke machine. I want massive casinos where you can win anything your twisted heart desires, but the odds are stacked in the hosues favor. I want prostitutes EVERYWHERE, but I want 'em to be horribly expensive. I want money to be randomly distributed so that nobody has to work, but everyone's unhappy about it. <{Moogle}> a Wheel of Fortune where the person in front of "you" always wins, but you never do And the one that wins... it just gets them out of the hole for that moment.... The brief moment of elation.... hollow but bright.... slurp. I want it to be a screaming tribute to waste, wanton gluttony, and everything American wrapped up in a blasted landscape with viper trees, barrow flame, and daemonettes. And let's not forget, that the more you degrade yourself, the more you win. The real currency of this place is dignity. yeah!! "Who Wants To Get Squicked By An Eleven-Thousandaire!" I want it to be bright and shiny so that nobody notices the waste, the despair, the constant darkness of the soul that is the true sky and air of our chancel. Remember, we serve the Dark - it wants humans dead. We're just there to make sure they don't notice. clio: You'll always be jailbait at heart. Aww...you're sweet, Father. Dog: You are wiser than I, admittedly. but I still have the higher Int characterstic. cleric to my wizard, you are. * Richard_McCart wonders what class he'd be in AD&D Thing: Bard. And we would all belittle you and use you as trap fodder. sorry. it's the way of things. parr would be the Worst Paladin Ever. face it, you wouldn't want me on your quest...I'd just be a burden always crying and asking you to reason with the bad guys parr: But you could heal. Believe me, adventurers will put up with a hell of a lot from anyone who can close up their sucking chest wound. Ooh, and I have mad fashion skills! clio: So you can be a bard with Thing. It'll help us get through dungeons faster, as Dog can drag you up to the next trap whilst I pull Thing out of the last trap. parr: See? And you'd be very important. You'd be healing whichever bard last got trap-tossed. Equus is our berserker. GRAAAGHRAGLE!!!! * EquusDeus flies into a frenzy of rage. * parr leaps on ed's shoulders and urdges him on. "Left, bezerker, left!" I just decided to become a vegetarian. Equus: freak. You realize that I'll be forced to look at you as potential prey now. SCREW YOU! EQUUS CAN GET ME PUNK CHICKS! I DON'T NEED YOUR UPPITY ERE DATING BITCH ASS!@!!! *** clio changes topic to 'I need cooch.' mmm, naked and with stubs. What's a girl to do? have sex with gollum? Although I like the idea of being called "my precious", evil subterranean creatures just aren't my bag. but his name is Sméagol! Sméagol!! It's European and sophisticated! chicks like sophisticated Euro types. so, Ria, when do we get the naked pictures of you? Never. I keep those for myself. Nothing turns me on like naked me. <{Moogle}> gnnss <{Moogle}> notype...head syuck un sleebe <{Moogle}> Ah. Whew. That's better. See, moog, clothes are out to get you. Naked is the key to success. Ah, the land of candied crotch. * Dei spits at Disney whoring itself on ABC again. Alex: Disney owns ABC, so it's not so much whoring itself as shamelessly promoting itself. That is, it's more in the nature of incest than prostitution. <{Moogle}> History ain't what it used to be <{Moogle}> I remember when Zangief used to just say "Next time we meet, I'll break your arms!" <{Moogle}> That always struck me as a bit extreme <{Moogle}> I mean, what if you run into him completely by accident whilst in the supermarket or post office queue? Heya Zangief! How's the family? CHRIST! MY ARMS!!! Deep, evil laughs are suprisingly enjoyable. * FatherDog has begun talking to himself quite a bit, particularly when he's planning something, and begins to worry he may soon become a Bond villain. <{Moogle}> Just don't invite him into your inner sanctum <{Moogle}> That never turns out well respect the cock Is this another catch phrase in the making, fiend? Because we're only now recovering from the brilliance that was "in the ass." Thing: I don't see how being a straight transvestite alien instead of a cross dressing bisexual alien changes the dynamic of this group away from bad anime at all. <{Moogle}> of course, there's a rule now about never speaking about physics or the nature of God when stoned, because sometimes you just get /too/ close when in that state <{Moogle}> We don't wanna get Hawkinged <{Moogle}> I wish something would clear my sinuses. It'd help me enunciate. <{Moogle}> Perhaps I need a good strong cocaine or speed habit. Kielbasa, man! Food of the gods! no, not really. oddly textured pig intestines. Okay, Polish gods, but still. Yes. And we know about Polish gods, don't we? buncha treedwelling, furclad goths. Treedwelling?! yes. living in the trees. woodsmen. This from someone whose heritage is from IRELAND?! Yep. At least our war gods have some class. Oh, yeah. An ugly, homicidal broad that likes to eat eyes. There's a war god to be proud of. yeah, well, who saved civilization by keeping copies of classical texts?! Not the polacks, that's for sure!!! That's your people's claim to fame? They're good librarians? "Let's let the army deal with it, folks." Except that the army always gets wiped out. You need a halfwit gardener, a spoiled country gentlement, a gay dwarf and elf couple, some talking trees, and a scion of an ancient, yet dead, kingdom to defeat demons. * Dei decides to solve all the world's problems with nine rounds of bare knuckled boxing. you should be a white male of english-speaking decent and protestant background. We rule the world. * Dei ponders dark blue or black suits when he becomes an old man and truly rules the world. Wonder what sort of cigar I'll smoke? Maybe one made of baby seals? Money isn't important to me, though. wired: Me either, but most of the things that ARE important to me can be bought. <{Moogle}> Farmboys make the best heroes, apparently. Farmboys do. Because they're the ones brought up on that diet of "if you get the ability to shoot lightning from your arse, it's your God given duty to smite evil with it." Dick: I am achey and tired. * Richard_McCart dosen't WANT to hear the call of the sea, godddamnit Marines have notoriously wandering penises. <{Moogle}> "I used humour as a defense mechanism at school..." <{Moogle}> "I used magic. Eat fireball, biaatch." The USS Eldridge suffered a major disaster in the 1940s that was narrowly averted by a strike force sent back in time from 2012. However, until this strike force is sent back in 2012, the disaster was not averted and will end up destroying the Earth in 2053, but the disaster /was/ averted in the 1940s, but it won't /actually/ be averted until the strike force is sent back in time... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! But Dog, don't you see? The strike force hasn't been sent yet, so the strike force that stopped the Eldridge disaster still technically only exists in potentia, even though there's physical evidence of them and suriving members in their 70s or so who were born in the 80s, since the strike force wasn't sent back in time yet, even though they already have been. Alex: I'm going to kill you in a minute. <{Moogle}> hurt him. hurt him good, and quickly <{Moogle}> Because now *I'm* feeling lightheaded So. What's new? Nette: Absolutely nothing! I get up at 7:30 and get home from work at 6pm! I go to bed at 11pm! I do absolutely nothing during the week! I'm working for the weekend! I'M LIVING A LOVERBOY SONG! DEAR GOD, HELP ME! * FatherDog needs to sit down and have a talk with his brain. <{Moogle}> Oligarchy! <{Moogle}> It's great being an olig. Don't be a minion of minions. Don't have a boss. Live your own life. clio: Very good in theory, but I have car payments to make. . o O ( "Gruesome"? Like "awesome" means filled with awe, does "gruesome" mean filled with grue? And if so, what is "grue"? ) "five years younger." pah! damenable nice young girls dicovering their sexuality..... ..... i should change that to discovering but dickovering seems to become more and more apt these days.... Thing is in charge of looking things up in DSOTBH, because I have to wash my hands after touching it. FD:I wear gloves knife fighting is for babies and parr. * FatherDog has trouble picturing parr in a knife fight. <{Moogle}> I don't. She's trouble with a capital F. YOU SUCK! <{Moogle}> I SUCK! WE ALL SUCK FOR ICE CREAM! I mean, even my pubic hair is sort of grey. Because the Wind Crystal is resting in her colon? Moogle: You wouldn't believe how like Mordor Jersey is. it even has Orcs, Jersey does. They call 'em Pineys or something. <{Moogle}> I saw an orc once * {Moogle} flexes and then trundles away to train under a waterfall Bit difficult to focus on meditation when your testicles are retreating into your abdomen. There's a fine line between genius and pish. <{Moogle}> Yer my voodoo bitch doll fiend: Become a gigolo. will lick bush for net access? * Dei proceeds to get his freak on. * Dei curses and puts off beginning his collection of Malkavians speaking the Bene Gesserit mantra. <{Moogle}> 'cos Dog is a dirty immigrant slav, and I'm a savage foreigner? * FatherDog wonders if Jesus is kosher. It's the difference between "Ah. That is fire, which can kill me. I shall grab this extinguisher and put it out." and "Fire! *ROTSHREK*" and running face first into a wall. <{Moogle}> Part of the contract with letting the greys have a base down there is that they keep all of our kit in tiptop shape <{Moogle}> They're much more suited to underwater maintenance than we are, you see <{Moogle}> ..have I said too much? Voot. one day.... after the "incident".... people are going to try to trace back how my delusions and paranoia were kept active in my mind.... and i hope that when they come and talk to you, you don't say anything... just so they can then inject you with sreum 23. But by then, I'll have removed the cameras. fiend: Could you sit a little lower in the chair? Alex is odd all the time. His is a polymorphic oddness, that changes with the week. "It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness." Fuck you, darkness! I lost my matches. * Cappadocius knew something was wrong when his mind drifted towards trying to imagine Andy Dick with a hooker. I like the pokemon /world/ it's very intresting * Schattenmann thinks a world with over a 150 sentient slave races under the thumb of humanity is a fascinating setting. * Dei kicks everyone. Dei's kicking it old sckool Even when slacking off, he;s an overachiever. Ah, it's a chick thing i.e. incomprehensible to those of us with functioning logic circuits. I don't eat Samoans. clio, because you share the unfortunate distinction of being a) female and b) human. he has no reason to trust you. No one's ever rushed by a blow job. Um. clio: My stomach's been upset the last few days, but I think it should be settling down soon. Father: What did you eat this time, an automatic transmission? whoah woah woah, here comes the llama and the booze and prostitututes flowed like wine? <{Moogle}> booze usually flows like wine <{Moogle}> especially the wine hmph. You guys don't appreciate a well regulated society. Alex: Look who you're talking to. Al: Moog's a radical free thinker and recreational drug user, fiend's a discordian, and I'm a borderline sociopath. Do we seem like the types to appreciate a well regulated society? a well regulated society. is that like when they say "he made the trains run on time?" <{Moogle}[UO]> I am what I am <{Moogle}[UO]> and what I am <{Moogle}[UO]> needs no excuses * Richard_McCart is lawful good! Dick: My ass is more lawful good than you are. FD:......no comment * FatherDog forgot about Rich's innate "Detect Evil Ass" ability. I'd like to forget about Rich's innate "Detect Evil Ass" ability! fiend: Good point. Want me to arrange one? what, a death? ...I just meant I'd check the obits for you. What do you people think of me? <{Moogle}> that you make a seedy living from beating aliens to death with a specially-sharpened rake in backstreet interspecies prize fights ...It's survival of the fittest! I'm defending our planet's reputation as badasses! Maus was in here the other day asking about what sorts of presents to get him. * CutGlass wonders if it would be disrespectful towards his mentor to say "anything shiney". moogle? you're from scotland. what's a litteral translation of "i dinnae ken"? <{Moogle}> "I don't know" well if your from scotland you bloody well should know..... ignorant natives.... bloddy hell. fiend: You've been waiting to use that for weeks, haven't you? <{Moogle}> speaking of flaming bush, wsa drininkng all night with friensds, one of whom's gay and one of whoms just came out as a lesbian.. did anyone bake her a cake? <{Moogle}> thankfully, no pity. i think more people would relax about coming out if people baked a cake for you. ooh or a suprise coming out party! "suprise! we know you're gay!" "But I'm NOT... ooooh, cake." * Cappadocius swings parr around his head. * parr is a satilite to your brillyance, o Masterful Sun! fd: the giant, drippy spider will come visit your toes in bed tonight. Cheers! parr: Tell Moogle that if he happens back in. maus: What do you remember about biome formation? Biome formation, as in the process of forming biomes? No, biome formation, as in the process of making snow cones. We love you too, Alex. <{Moogle}> Do we? Well, no. I'm shamelessly lying. But he's an okay conversationalis. So don't go and get yourself killed, y'hear? * FatherDog looks at ED's webcam. ED: Now show me... brooding! Good, very good. *clickclickclick* * John_Smith makes fiend disappear. Like that guy in that show. Yeah. "You feel five tiny pinpricks in thr front of your chest." "Wasn't he behind me?" "Yep. Still is, in fact." "Awwww, shit." *gurgle* That was my character's last words before becoming a paraplegic. Funfun. hrm, anyone see alex today? Not today, no. blerg, where is he then? Sitting on his windowsill, masturbating frenziedly and screaming at passerby? The passerbys are just shaking their heads and saying, "Not again. He does this EVERY morning!" Padre: You know those monkeys that masturbate? ED: You mean, all of them? Well, it's good to know I don't get ANY respect. Cum-flavored ice-cream. "Now with monkey" I wish IRC were kind of like reality. No, what you wish is that the /kick command delivered a painful electric shock. * Cappadocius shakes his fist at the screen. Show Fencing! show kung-fu! Show anything but women's water polo! Or judo. Or wrestling. Or greco-roman fucking. Everyone in Jersey has superpowers. It's kind of Mutie Central. * Nette_ builds a scale model of the White House out of pancakes. parr's an omen! when we went to visit the tombs of relatives in sweden, it was really cool. fd: for several years I nursed a strong desire to have my remains shiped back there to the tomb. but now I realize that would be a real waste of money. parr: I'd kinda like to be stuffed and used to threaten recalcitrant children. Hey, Dog, why don't you like Toon, anyway? It's... it's... eugh. It's toon. It's like playing free-form D&D, but every character is a kender. Dog: And? AND?!? ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?!? * Cappadocius waves his big old Sandman dick around. <{Moogle}> All Midgets, All The Time <{Moogle}> At Crazy Mike's Midgetopolis Moogle: So basically, it's the Britannian equivalent of "He was cleaning his gun and it just went off"? "Yes, I was trying to shake the water off of my hands, and swearing in Latin... must've accidentally summoned the Cacodaemon." Doesn't it seem... facetious to call FF9 FINAL when there's probably going to be a 10. <{Moogle}> They're already working on X and XI Right. So it's not exactly Final, is it? <{Moogle}> No, it's not, and do you know that's the first time someone's ever pointed that out? <{Moogle}> ... <{Moogle}> oh, hang on. No it's not. * {Moogle} jumps up and down on Dei I had my fortune read, via tarot cards, in August of 98. It told me to beware emotional entanglements, and watch out for a woman with dark hair and green eyes. Hindsight, man... Yeah, in hindsight I should have paid more attention to her foresight. * parr is a brute with a powerful weapon! Thing is just a bisexual woman trapped in a man's body. * Naineh snuggles Alex. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. <{Moogle}> should've used more lube, then you know, I would have watched Voyager more if they had Nude-16-Year-Old-Girl-With-Homemade-Ball-Gag of Borg instead of Seven of Nine. Real maple syrup! drawn screaming from the living tree! "I broke dozens of bones learning moves like these. All you have to break... is a sweat." -BMX biker, being a spokesman for a BMX bike game on Dreamcast. Now, how fucking bad shape do you have to be in to break a sweat playing DREAMCAST? * FatherYogSothoth wants to see the Olympics get back to their roots. Specifically, have all the competitors naked. whoa, a steam powered vibrator. developed in 1869 for use by doctors in treating female hysteria. Alex: Did they stop when they realized that it's use resulted in a sudden upswing in cases of female hysteria in the area? Alex: You can't take TWO DAYS off work? Do you work for Hitler? That's it, isn't it? You're covertly gassing Jews and keeping his ragged neck-stump clean while they grow a new clone-body for him, and all so you can pay off your student loans. "Jeffrey, the Platonic Pimp. He'll hook you up with a good conversation, no questions asked." Dog: Shame on you. You know girls can't take their eyes off your enormous penis! Alex: I suppose I really should find something more appropriate to play badminton with. There's nothing so important that I can't laugh at it and ignore it. * Dei writhes on the ground, unable to move due to his overwhelming greed. this is sick! roleplaying clearly advocates deviant behaviour and ill concieved morals! back oh tool of statn! Statn? ...and once again a promising rant is cut short by the fact that fiend's fingers are roughly as nimble as breakfast sausages. * void_if_removed sits in the lotus psoition and reaches inner peace heh last time i was this far in'er piece i........ * void_if_removed returns from meditations. damn. silly buddah. * FatherDog comforts Natwick. ...with morphine. Dog: Demon and Daemon is pronounced EXACTLY the same. Alex: Only to the untrained ear. It's like the difference between C'thulhu and Ktulu and §µððç. I'm off to bed too, actually. Got a hard day of... sleeping. Ahead of me. Time to get a head start. What's a good word for someone who shows a lack of concern for the present? Dumb? Damn. And I so wanted to punch people in the crotch. * Dei makes a point to have all his evil characters wear goatees. Well, that'll make things easier. * FatherDog makes a note to kill all goateed people on sight. Wait, I'm on a college campus. * FatherDog frees up his calender for the next several months. This may take a while. <{Moogle}> and if you think those special characters are easy to pronounce, you'd be wrong <{Moogle}> one time I was trying to say "348y%^()(^ @:S@£(" and accidentally cast Magic Missile You should never be too busy to add insult to injury. Although for the first time in 20 years, there may actually be surprises in there for long term gamers. pages soaked in LSD and scary pictures and a mandala of Gygax photos? ...that would make for an interesting campaign... "You're on the road for four days..." *roll* "On the third day, you're attacked by" *leafs through pages* "...a giant glass of ORANGE JUICE, man..." <{Moogle}>hm...have you heard the situation of the last living scion of Dracula? Moog: No, whassat? <{Moogle}> Oh, well...for one thing he's a short fat man with a silly moustache, and he's been driven out of the family home by gangs of neo nazis who constantly assault the place. <{Moogle}> It doesn't make any mention of him impaling them on spikes on the walls or anything You see what happens when you let the family traditions slip? Nette: I'll have to rely on the fellatio-droids, I suppose. You already have a fellatio droid? ... damn. I'll have to return this one then. Nette: You never got ME a fellatio-droid. * FatherDog pouts. Dog: You don't need one! You have many actual human women ready to suck the wang of doom. The rest of us are socially retarded. quick!!! the aliens are attacking! nothing can breach their defenses.. "wait. have you tried the wang of doom yet?" quick! everyone... escape.... run. run up the wang of doom to safety! And now that the danger is over, it's time for the entertainment. Everybody limbo! I detect sexual overtones to this conversation <{Moogle}> Monkeys. You know. Like squirrels, but not quite. And dammit, Vampires SHOULD be about Victorian queers controlling the world. FD:Don't date Sephiroth! Dick: I am Sephiroth. FD:I am sorry, but i need to sleep with you now. Dick: No. If you bring Kit up, though, I'll let you watch. * parr stares accusingly at Richard with charcoal eyes. he subsists on a heady cocktail of food, drugs, and pure xenon gas! * Cappadocius can't believe that the Socialist candidate is closest to agreeing with him on all the issues. kill him and suck out his brain? what? well, it seemed like a resaonble solution at the time. Mossblown prides itself on being "timeless" Translation: I was lazy when working on the "Major historical upheavals" portion. clio: It may interest you to know that any excuse that includes the phrase "I have no self-control" or variations thereof immediately cause my brain to ignore the rest of the sentence and begin singing 70's showtunes. I just held my first screentest ever. <{Moogle}> 'lo clio. How'd it go? Did you have to swallow? I HELD the screentest, Moogle. That means I was the one in charge. ...did they have to swallow? I've never seen you do anything but grope clio and walk around New York showing off your stomach muscles. oh, and play RoboRally. Feh. I'm not awake enough to even be snide successfully. * `nny_ has a long goatee. it's neat. <{Moogle}> long? Erg. That's just silly. * {Moogle} is going for the evil supervillain thang, but not the evil /gay/ supervillain thang. You know, Rich, for being a flaming homosexual, women sure do like getting naked and cuddly with you. * Dei imagines DragonCon has the potential to become a big malk orgy, since we're a distressingly incestuous peer group. Granted, if you get thing really drunk and ask him about himself, I'd wager even odds he's going to end up getting maudlin about things he regret, sob all over you, kiss you, and then pass out. And that would suck, because I wouldn't be there to see it. parr: MONKEY BRAIN ROBOT! Why aren't you more excited!! Alex: Parr only has enough energy to get excited once a day. Now what shall we do? Bruce Lee impressions * Dei lies very, very still and moulders. * Cappadocius notes his father had some acquaintances in the midwestern mob back in the day... The midwestern mob? * FatherDog tries to supress the image of italians in overalls. Either way. God's still a dick. Yeah, but he's a dick with the power over Life and Death. and a cool car. I'll bet fiend has porn. No bet. he's got lots of persistence and thingie. Particularly thingie. Lots and lots of thingie, has the fiend. Or so they tell me. well father, at least you can rest easy in the knowledge that now your sister can give better head. I've always wanted to send fiend an illuminati pin with a short letter saying only "Welcome" <{Moogle}> ..mmmm....snake oil....good for what ails ya... <{Moogle}> ...if what ails you is back pain from carrying around that heavy purse all day... <{Moogle}> What am I, the world's first surrealist cat burglar? <[Oni]> I love Buffy. <{GM}> I just wanna jump her bones, I don't love her. <[Oni] = AlexD> * [Oni] has sex with nny's woman. <`nny_> Alex: I don't have a woman. <[Oni]> nny: you will. <[Oni]> and I'm having sex with her RIGHT NOW. For some reason, I am the absolute first choice for people that want to cheat on their boyfriends. It's a little disconcerting, to be honest. <[Oni]> But licking cute girls is just therapeutic. * FatherDog wants to watch the World Serial Killing Federation. You know, a world where it's always dark and always raining... Nothing natural still alive, toxic sludge instead of oceans, special diners just for Ops. Ahhhhhh... paradise. Just popped in to wish everybody a Happy New Minute. Dei: I see love...travel...adventure in your future...someone who's name contiains one of the follow letters: "A E I O U" * parr moves in and borrows Dei's socks The GM burdens most of the costs of a group anyways. Let those fat bearded virgins who want to play Sailor Moon lesbians buy their OWN copy of Big Eyes, Small Mouth and get IT all sticky. Oooh, oral sex by candlelight. How romantic, in a late-night Cinemax sort of way. Boys are semi-fighting over me, and all is well with the world again. I never really thought of you as so right-wing. Dog fuck hard right wing. uhm. That made no real sense. Alex: It sounds vaguely like some Indian pronouncement. Dog heap big fuck. Hard Right wing. I meant to saying Dog is fucking hardcore right wing. meant to saying? You'd never think that *I'm* the one that's drinking. not old. just.... preloved. <{Moogle}> easy and swayed by material goods. <{Moogle}> there's a name for people like you <{Moogle}> "woman" * Cappadocius is a chick magnet. <{Moogle}> I think yer polarity's reversed there, choomba Dice, cards, and women; three apparently-random things that people easily become addicted to, all of which do things around me that they don't often do but everyone wishes they would. * Dei thinks its hot when a girl knows when to shut her yap. Okay. Where else can I get a bottle full of veneral disease? * trenchcoat_pile 's right hand hurts and she will abstain from typing for a few minutes, except for very simple words that can be pecked out with one hand. parr: How've things been with you? A) Good, B) Bad, C) I've been playing AC for the last 48 hours continuously. Who's parr? shed some optimism into our world parr Amaya: Everything shall be great! Wonders will open in our eyes as we enjoy tomorrow! Amaya: sleep with a smile on your face as you enjoy the dreams of the fantastic tomorrow! Fd; your toes are a vital part of your body. when's the last time you washed them individually? huh? parr: This morning. good. * magickparrp likes a clean psycho man! If I stay up much longer, I'm going to have to start shotgunning cocktails of pepto-bismol and grain alcohol to remain functional. and there are things you just don't joke about Maya: There are? Even through you're lying, cheating sluts, I miss you. Redhat: So easy even girls can use it. there needs to be more naked Heaving bosom on tv <{Moogle}> SEE? <{Moogle}> Even the gay guy can see what's blatantly obvious. Alex, you and Tact do NOT have a strong working relationship I don't want to be toughned up! I want to remain soft and glutenous. Like...rice. Did you know the Damned aren't kosher? Thing is a Deep One hybrid. And I'm a half-Leshy. And Alex is piebald because he comes from bad stock. * {Moogle} is genetically pure, and therefore superior to all you subcreatures. <{Moogle}> WOOHAH! <{Moogle}> SANE AS A BRICK, MOTHERFUCKER! * {Moogle} ties Dei down and rapes him with a cactus <{Moogle}> I'm SANE, DAMN YOU! Moogle: Why do you have to go and bring morality and logic into my fascist fantasies? Mmmm... nephandi. * FatherDog wraps himself in a nice warm Caul. "This is hard, let's quit." That was almost the official credo of my D&D group. bsides there a good chance the nxt pope will be black anyway There's a better chance of the next head of the Klan being black than the Pope. nah the catholic churches fastest growng area is africa I don't care if their fastest growing area is Harlem; you'll see a black president long before you see a black pope. * Dei notes the FOUR "near umbras" enveloping the Earth. high level topology helps a lot. because which near umbra you get depends on which direction you're coming from. Okay. Imagine a sphere. This is the earth. Imagine a slightly larger sphere - this is (are) the four near umbras. now, outside this is ANOTHER sphere, much larger - the Umbra proper. Now this sphere has LAYERS of spirit energy - like if you filled a glass sphere with three different chemicals of different densities, you get distinct layers. The middle layer is the Living Umbra, the umbra of the Garou. it's easiest to imagine it as wide as your Earth sphere, because it gets its nature from the Earthy, living spirit energy of Earth. now, coming through this layer, the Earth is floating in it, and you get what I call the Penumbra, the Living Near Umbra. Now, the dead, entropic spirit energy sinks to the bottom of the sphere. The Tempest is the raw entropy, while the various afterlives are like congealed chunks floating within. This bottom layer is crusted over, a crust which envelops the earth - this is the Shadowlands. Break the crust from the "outside" and you go into the tempest, but break it from the INSIDE, and you either end up ON the crust, or in the Deep Umbra (or "Oblivion"), depending on your orientation. The spirit of mind - philosophy, dreams, though being ethereal and such, floats to the top. This is the high umbra, imagine it as vapors surrounding the earth. This is the Near Umbra of most Mages. now, imagine at the upper pole of this sphere, a columnar realm - p ure imagination-spirit energy. This column is the dreaming. At its bottom, it surrounds the Earth as the Near Dreaming. Climb upward into more rarefied climes, and you're in the Far Dreaming. Keep going, and you're getting Mythic and thus, subconscious. You're on the Horizon, and if you get any more abstract, you're Deep Umbral. This is the deep Dreaming. and then each Umbra has its own directions, realms, etc to further complicate things, and act as nesting dolls. but that's the broad overview. What are the Three Annoying ST tendencies? Magpie Syndrome, Hammer of Plot, and Play With My Toys. Magpie syndrome is when ST's start sticking any old thing in to their game just because they think it's cool, even when it doesn't help (and is in fact detrimental) to the flow of the game. Y'know the sort of ST where you can always tell what the latest sourcebook he's picked up is, because immediately 12 NPC's straight out of it appear in his game? Magpie syndrome. They read it, and it's so cool they just HAVE to stick it right in. Hammer of Plot is ST's that plan out their story beforehand, and have problems with players trying to deviate from their preprogrammed set of options. "I leave the city." ".....you can't." "Sure we can. We leave." "....mists rise up, and you fall unconscious. Suddenly, you're back in the city. Now, do you go left or right?" HAMMER OF PLOT CRUSHES YOU, OVERPOWER! Play With My Toys is almost the opposite extreme. You remember when you were little there would be kids whom no one really liked that much, but they always had great toys, and they would let people play with them because it was the only way they could get them to hang out with them? Play With My Toys is the tendency for ST's to let players get away with anything because they want them to stay in their game and they're afraid to say "no." "I want to play a Mage." "Well... we're playing a Wraith game..." "Well, I want to play a Mage." "ERrr.... okay, I guess." <{Moogle}> A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar <{Moogle}> The barman says "What is this, some sort of joke?" fiend: I'm having trouble putting down irritating rumours. Cut: Like that rumor that you can actually be photographed? If someone told my sister I was engaged, she'd probably die of shock. My siblings both apparently expect me to die alone and childless. Possibly in some sort of armed showdown with the BATF. <{Moogle}> basically, my brain crashing and forgetting to carry the one. Lovely biscuits. <{Moogle}> I've seen the first hour or so of Schindler's List, but that's about it for me. <{Moogle}> I mean.....spielberg......nazis.... <{Moogle}> I waited an HOUR for Indiana Jones to show up. No dice. <{Moogle}> Y'know...I have trouble listening to "Smile...though your heart is breaking...smile....even though it's aching..." without The Joker entering the scene at some point. * {Moogle} notes that his surname means "of the black" and one of his dad's middle names is a corruption of a word for "coil" <{Moogle}> or, spiral if you will. What's a carpark? Is that the same as a parking lot? yes a parking lot what the hell does *car*park* sound like?! Amaya: Someplace that cars go to frolic, have picnics, get some sun. When I crave blood, Max Weinberg enters my brain and forces me to eat human flesh. * Dei is clad in the traditional beaded loincloth of his people. fiend. I want my fucking books back. including my goddamn copy of Hunter Planet you took over a year ago! What on earth is fiend doing with your fucking books? I mean, talk about something he'd have no use for... ... <{GM}> Malk Tarot. <{GM}> I said we can't HAVE a The Fool, for the same reason that none of the Reservoir Dogs were allowed to be Mr. Black. Will you be bringing me a naked elf chick as a peace offering? If I can find one. If not, will a berserker dwarf do? Er. no. <{Moogle}> Racist. Moogle: But, berserker dwarves aren't interested in pleasuring me. They're interested in cutting my head off at the knees. * Dei wishes he had a theme song. Brass Monkey That Funky Monkey That is not my themesong. Alex: C'mon. I know people that would kill for a Beastie Boys theme song. <{Moogle}> I know a guy who's narcoleptic. It's funny...we throw a sheet over him and use him as a table when he does it at parties. <{Moogle}> One time I won the "Dave Smith Buckaroo Open" <{Moogle}> by balancing the most things on him <{Moogle}> I have a cunning plan. <{Moogle}> Buy a ticket, win the lottery. <{Moogle}> The simpler the plan is, the fewer snags you have and the easier it is to stay on-track. Moog: You could start knocking over liquor stores. <{Moogle}> Too many shonky variables to keep track of <{Moogle}> Also, they made that illegal They did? * FatherDog replans his vacation. * {Moogle} is a jack of al..some...trades, master of n..some. <{Moogle}> Not quite as catchy that way, though. * FatherDog puts on loud Iron Maiden. Fuck you, loud people down the hall. Taste my wrath. Yeah. Star Wars is about as far from "Hard sci-fi" as one gets. It's sword-and-sorcery dressed up as saber-and-forcery. <{Moogle}> pour petrol over a customer in the bank, then threaten to use your Zippo focus to cast flamestrike if the vault isn't opened. <{Moogle}> Abracadabra. I have this tendency, I've noticed, to vomit forth scads of prose in response to any important question, and drown my meaning in words. Too many wordssss.... but I loves them so, I does. In general, people are dumb. But when you examine a specific person, he's usually dumb also. yet again, your latent homosexuality sends another conversation down in flames I want all the malks to come visit me. ...of course, some of them will leave feet first. Because Ohio is not the land of burgeoning and freely offered vaginas. YAHTZEE NAZI Sex of the City - "Do you know how hard it is to sex a city? I can't tell if the durn thing is female or male" 'Daddy lets me play with all the guns I want!" * FatherDog is full of love and joy for you all. Bask in the warm glow of his regard. <{Moogle}> oh, that's right. Yer one of those aspirant lesbians. <{Moogle}> You get a D- in being gay. i can see the report card now.... "attentive in class. needs to suck less dick." young street kids with artificial hips? <[Oni]> It's all sex and quirky antics at Amaya's office. I'm a goo of looove, baby! he's not a sissy! he's sensitive! goodnight Fd, may your dreams be of sweet happy things, or possibly you killing sweet happythings, your choice * Dei wants to join the Thought-Police. sunlight is good. It makes plants grow and women take their clothes off. Dog and Moogle, being Wyrm and Ice Creatures, respectively, fear and despise helios, who is giver of light, warmth, and love to this Earth. <{Moogle}> who wants a wife whose knees only bend the one way? let slip the gears of brain! <{Moogle}> Ahhh, I see what's going on <{Moogle}> We've all taken the brown acid. <{Moogle}> The one the size of a pizza. <{Moogle}> it's not /too/ weird <{Moogle}> Seeing a nun riding a Belgian Shepherd like a pony whilst singing Oops, I Did It Again... <{Moogle}> that would be too weird. Dog, being a wyrm creature, prefers to sit in sordid and darkened back rooms with his cronies rather than go out and face the people. * FatherDog impales Thing on a spike. * {Moogle} puts the spike over the fire ow. <{Moogle}> Yeah! <{Moogle}> That'll teach you to.. <{Moogle}> ...uh... <{Moogle}> that'll teach you do..er...do that thing...you did...rar. ship of fools car of morons. wheelbarrow of retards <{Moogle}> He was another one...Lewis Caroll should pop up in a Tim Powers book. He's....he's got the thing. <{Moogle}> Whatever it is. barking madness? laudanum addiction? pedophilia? <{Moogle}> No, no. Those are fairly common. * DrAndy does not have Mobius Nipples. <{Moogle}> I turned on the TV last night or the night before, and the first thing I heard was "....your nipples may or may not exist..." as it was warming up and coming on <{Moogle}> So I just turned it back off again. Smart move, that. <{Moogle}> Sheep are evil-looking anyway.. <{Moogle}> It's those eyes. <{Moogle}> The /eyes/ <{Moogle}> Eeee-ville * FatherDog fills Alex with jam. Eugh. Why did you do that? Jam is neat. So? C'mon. Haven't you ever wanted an Alex filled with jam? hmmmmm yes... that sounds great See? Er. No. Really? Why not? because I don't want to be filled with jam. Everyone wants their own jam-filled Alex! but I don't want to be filled with Jam! Alex: But people love Alex's full of jam! Don't you want to be loved? Not if it means being filled with jam! * Amaya notes that jam filled men would be an improvement on the current "creamy filling" Where you cock gobbling whores? I don't gobble cock, man. Yes. She sucks primly and sedately. She's a laaaaaaaady. Beware of people who hold your peer group in contempt. yeah! because THIS peer group has no compunctions against killing them and eating them. And then we'll gain their powers. * FatherDog pats Alex on the head. Who's daddy's little thug? Do you /have/ to be sarcastic? Yes, actually, I think I do. <{Moogle}> I'll kill you! <{Moogle}> I'll kill you dead! You will not. <{Moogle}> Well, I'll shave your head and rough you up a bit, then. We're discussing Life, The Universe, And Nothing. * Dei crushes Dog. * FatherDog is crushed. * parr grinds FD to a fine powder and sells him at a high per gram price on the drug market * FatherDog produces a fine, mellow high with only mild cravings for violence and jam as side effects. * parr cuts FD with ground EqusDeus to make the supply run longer, but then starts getting complaints of extremely violetn mood swings and aggressive behavior i hate my life. and my life hates me. But we still love you, unc'a fiendy. ..... i would weep, but that's to damn funny. * EDG has a lot of animal magnetism. When he goes outside, squirrels stick to his clothes. Wrath and Lust have both been supplanted in my life by Sloth. Ria needs love. Dei needs love too. and gobs of attention. FD needs wittisims and a pinch of mutal admiration MrComputer needs a GeForce 3 What do I need? Some slap-ass porn sex! Alex: You are not a special and unique snowflake. Good thing too. He would melt. mass murders gotta start somewhere! FD: but didn't you learn from all those great 80's cartoons, if you're mean back you're just like them? parr: Yeah, but this message was being conveyed by giant transforming robots and guys in the army whose job it was to shoot people, so I don't think it stuck very well. he-man was gay? ... that would epxlain a lot, wouldn't it. Skeletor: "You can master /my/ universe anytime, you big hunk!" * parrdonmon hefts the Spade of Morality high and clangs it down on parrdonmon 's head * Dei likes it when parr is naughty. well, Skeletor was pretty efeminite Well, as effeminate as you can get when you have a skull for a face and carry a ram's head everywhere you go. nobody should listen to any organ south of the medulla oblongata. <{Moogle}> I forget what I was gonna say <{Moogle}> Assume it was englightening and witty <{Moogle}> or muddled and pointless I invoke Saint Don Quixote de la Mancha. Grant me the ability to lie to both myself and the world, and make us believe it, not because it sounds plausible, but because it doesn't. <{Moogle}> La chupacaaaabra <{Moogle}> La chupacaaaabra See him devouring your eyes.... Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. ...I ask no questions, but people keep telling me lies. So now I make no statements. I just ask questions. People still tell me lies, but at least they have to think harder. * FatherDog ties Thing to a Maypole and makes v7 and shimmer dance around him. .... This is bizzare. No, it's whimsical. * FatherDog morris dances. <{Moogle}> I'm bored of everything. <{Moogle}> Invent something new and fun. *** {Moogle} changes topic to 'I dream of genocide' <{Moogle}> 30 days hath September, April June and November <{Moogle}> All the rest have 31, except February <{Moogle}> because it's shit. Time becomes a loop <{Moogle}> Time becomes a loop. Time becomes a loop. .pool a semoceb emiT Life is trying to determine what you believe is right, and then trying to do what you believe is right. It's a long process and it never really ends. vampires, by ghod! tones and tones of em! falling from the sky! * parr picks up another limp body from the ground, this one suffered serious impact damage from the fall. * parr holds it up after a bit of a struggle and begins a grotesque waltz la da daaa, la de deee, la da dumm... hey, father, want to play "toss the tremere"? Yay! * FatherDog claps. * parr pulls up the faces of several fallen bodies. "ooh ooh...mashed malk...squished settite...bruised brujah!" * parr grabs a small, fairly light tremere and winds up for the throw (his feet in her hands, and spin around a few times to work up momentum...) * parr lets the tremere go with a grunt and sends it spining off in FD's direction, rotating wildly * FatherDog whips out a baseball bat and smacks the tremere out of the air. *THWACK* * parr watches 3 seperate peices of the tremere spiral off, each on their own vector * parr runs to catch the largest peice, her hand stretched with visc into a something resembling a fleshy baseball mitt I got it! I got it! * parr catches the peice by a leg, then runs over and slides onto a nearby body. "Yeeeerrrrrr out!" * parr runs over to FD with the legs and offers him one. "Wishbone pull!" Oooh! * FatherDog grabs an ankle. * parr wishes and yanks at the same time as FD, creating a great crackign noise as bones rip out of flesh whohoo I won! * parr stretches two fingers into boney and servicible pliers, then uses them to extract the fangs of various vampires * parr drags half a dozen vampires over to a public fountain, and in a few minutes work replaces the nasty 'modern' art adorning it with more classical human figures, all of which gurgle out bloody water into the pool * parr tries on a torador's suit, a gangrel's jacket and a nossy's rag tag outfit before settling on a long torador robe with many obscure symbols * parr pops a monicle over her cheekbone and stands on the top of the fountain, smiling benevolently at all their creation * FatherDog offers parr a funny hat. * parr takes the hat with a smile and a nod, and tips it on her head. "Our Fine Town!" she cries. "How I love it so. The streets are filled with happy citizens..." And they all love you so much1 * parr jumps down and links the hands of seveal dozen people around the fountain, forming a circle. "Dance with joy!" * parr watches the crows decend on the good citizens, and whisper things in their ears, tounges, and eyes... * parr yawns petitely I fear it's time to leave my good citizens to their own devices and retire to the mayoral estate. Goodnight, o beloved ruler! * FatherDog throws rose petals in parr's path. Farewell! Farewell! I love thee all. What a happy, happy town..and to think it all came down out of the sky... * parr steps carefully on the rosepetal trail, leaving a line of mashed petals and werewolf blood in the dying rays of the moon... * parr stamps her boot and rises up on the winds to join the blood red clouds. fiend: Moog asked someone to come up with something new and different. I told him he should go out and start handing people on the street notes with instructions on them, signed "God." And tell them he was a messenger sent to make sure they fulfilled their destinies. I didn't think to tell him to carry a trumpet, but I should've. touched by a moogle..... eugh. grotty. Hanuman was a Grade-A Kung-Fu Badass. parr: I demand Nette and Ria. Make them come! Dei: shall i dance around our idol and cut myself and cry to the gods? or would you prefer a more hebrewish, 12 stones altar with a burn offering? parr: Can we perhaps get a something a little less semitic? maybe a little bit of a nordic ritual, with a little shinto for color? ooo. How do the Buddhist rituals look this season? Dei: they're following the middle way of fashion...as usual! parr: Wonderful! Let's go with that! * Dei starts spinning the prayer wheels. Doc: Look, the thing about High School Girls, is that, when you get right down to the brass tacks, they're interchangeable. it doesn't matter WHICH one is cleaning out your pipes, it just matters that they're going to be squeaky clean after. dei: i'm sniffing mysteriously Oh...Odin brought me a surprise today. I was sure surprised. It was a Playstation 2. Odin knows how to treat a woman. parr: Does this mean you two are engaged? <]Oni[> So, Dog, why aren't any of my sexy bitches online? ...you have sexy bitches? Anyway. Nette's at work tonight... And Ria's busy doing stretching exercises to limber up for your date. Splits and deep knee bends. <]Oni[> Dog: You, sir, are a pig. * ]Oni[ drives a sharpened wooden stake through fiend's crotch. Ow. That'll.... ow. <{GM}> Stake through the beefheart! <]Oni[> parr: Um. Well, I do drink the amniotic fluid of sea cows. I think socially, sure... sometimes it's really great, feel top of the world. but I enjoy thinking alone too. <]Oni[> parr: Really? That's a sign of thought addiction, you know. * ]Oni[ puts parr and Nette in lucite cubes and keeps them forever so that he always has nice people around him. I don't even think I'd get a planet. I'd probably be Sailor Jersey or something. Yeah, I'm Sailor Newark, you *&^%ing #%&holes. Get offa my lawn! don't ask me what the appeal of Tuxedo Mask is supposed to be though. "hi, i'm way to old for you" "o dreamy!" <]Oni[> parr: Women love gay men. Ask clio. perhaps they like gay men because they're non-threatening? Or because they have a deep need for someone to pick out curtains with? <]Oni[> we're all naked, you know. <]Oni[> even parr. nope. even under her clothes parr is not naked. <]Oni[> She's smooth like a Barbie doll! yes, thanks to the miracle of Viscisitude, you too can cast off any ol' features you don't like! How much would you pay for this fabulous product! * parr and Nette do a half hour informercial now /look/ at these nasty corns! * parr runs her hands over them, and they disapear audience of blood bound kine: "ooo ahhh!" Why, they're gone! It's amazing! Wrinkles showing your mortal age? No problem! Now, we'd like to give you our PERSONAL ASSURANCE that there is NO negative effect on your soul...RIGHT NETTE? Oh, of course there isn't! hahha! such a silly rumor! <]Oni[> SOOOOOOOUUUUULLLLLL EEEEAAAATTTTTEERRRRRR!!!! right, we'll be right back with more of our exciting product in just a moment! * parr bounds over the first 3 rows of kine and catches Dei with one hand, slapping her other across his mouth and sealing it shut with flesh. * parr pulls Oni up onto the table in front of the cameras Now here we have a random audience member who's going to experience first hand the magic of Visicisitude! * parr runs a hand swiftly down Onis mouth, restoring it to normal. "Now, what alterations have you been contemplating, Sir?" Don't be shy! <]Oni[> Vicissitude is actually a dread infection but occult monsters known as Soul Eaters!!! <]Oni[> Don't buy it! <]Oni[> SOUL EATERS!!! what was that? You'd like a /complete/ makeover? I think he wants ears he can flap, and a face like Sloth fromthe Goonies, he said. ;) <]Oni[> I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR FILTHY SOUL EATER GRANTED POWERS!!! * ]Oni[ runs. Well, like we said, this offer is not for everyone! however, I do belive... * parr looks in the direction taht Oni ran away that he's going to expereince the "amazing home tanning system" Oh, the Sun-In-A-Box? I do enjoy that one.... also, not for just anyone. * parr titters, and hits the sign that says "LAUGH" for the bound audience "Vicissitude: Catch the Wave!" DerF is, in fact, the fluffiest of fluffypillows. * Dei wishes he did have secret police. <{Moogle}> the Piebald Hand <{Moogle}> heheheh * Dei sulks. <{Moogle}> My apologies, your patchy eminence. <{Moogle}> I never said I was always right. Just most of the time, especially when I'm not wrong. <{Moogle}> But I'm embracing the buddha nature. <{Moogle}> Like water off a duck's back, it is. So long as I'm allowed to lash out from time to time. <{Moogle}> Hmm. Wonder if the Dalai Lama has a cellar full of victims for when the rage gauge is full? <{Moogle}> Don't mock me. I'll have to have you skinned. I was listening to NPR when they had on a nutritionist and one of the things he said was , there are a lot of men in the country that don't like fruit now i'm /trying/ to remember what he said those men needed to do... I'm guessing "Eat more fruit." * Richard_McCart got a new piercing! <{Moogle}> lung piercing? * {Moogle} hefts a poker and peers at Thing *** Quits: Richard_McCart (Quit: Gigantic acid spitting cock. Heh.) <{Moogle}> we're compulsive viewing. <{Moogle}> like armed alcoholics in a plexiglass cage <{Moogle}> with a single bottle of whisky it's "Must See IRC" Tonight on IRC... ED explodes! Parr talks too much about her self! Alex flings monkey faeces! and late night with the fiend. Well. Not a drinking problem so much as a drinking solution. Glory in the nice feel of shower! Enjoy with a sweet smile your tastey pancakes! there is loads to love in life! clean sheets are of the Gods. I'm burning with goodness! * Maus runs around in ellipses. Looks like I'm 76% likely to kiss Moogle while drunk. <{Moogle}> How likely are you to run me over with a combine harvester whilst on heroin? Now, Dog, that was mean. Yes, but then, so am I. My sheer presence, on the other hand, implies that it would be a good idea to quickly get to the next state. DerF: Actually, your presence just screams GAMER! ....which, I suppose, is better than screaming GAMERA! <{Moogle}> parr! Dog's defaming you! <{Moogle}> Well, not in public, so you can't have him for libel or anything. <{Moogle}> "Godzilla is attacking the city! And...he's....throwing people into the sides of skyscrapers like a major league pitcher. Eugh." He has his degree in Biology. So he can study primates. <{Moogle}> but not in a creepy way. <{Moogle}> The nightvision goggles are 'for novelty purposes only' I dislike you...but I don't have the athority to fire you...therefore you get...THE SQUEAKY CHAIR! hope you all have plesant dreams, which do not involve giant, rusted lawn shears. You know, there's not a lot of witty banter available to those wishing to simulate an army of homicidal robots. Y'know, Donna Rice Hughes is pretty attractive. Who is that? <{Moogle}> we may never know <{Moogle}> luckily, I find myself in a rather charming state of mind wherein I don't give a toss. * DrAndy kicks Dog off the balcony. * FatherDog plummets, much like a large, screaming rock. * Thalia_Leroi shifts to Chrinos * DerF shifts into full alternate form, and becomes a rather comfortable armchair. ....oddly, that's not THAT different from your normal form. * DerF goes Crinos, and induces delirium with his low price, easy assembly, sheer trendiness, and inexpensive ground shipping costs! Y'know... east coast girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear And the southern girls, with the way they talk, they knock me out when I'm down there. The midwest farmers daughters really make me feel all right. And the northern girls, with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriend warm at night... But I wish they all could be.... SLIGHTLY LESS FUCKING IDIOTIC ALL THE FUCKING TIME, THOSE ROTTEN FUCKING WHORES! Do you think it's a good idea to do something you don't enjoy, if it will help other people enjoy themselves more? No, not really. .....unless it's ST your mage game, in which case, yes. And more Drusilla. *drool* I want to have a meaningful relationship with that girl... And kill a lot of people. <{Moogle}> Did she actually have proper visions before this series? Wasn't it more a sort of extended spider sense? "Malk sense... tingling... nasty sharp sticksies ahead." what're you going to do with that? Perform complicated rectal surgery on unsuspecting passerby. Right..but I am not FD, so you should be ok He and I have bumpy bits in completely different places. Dog: How's it going? ED: Eh. My philosophy assignment is late, but I'm taking a philosophical position of indifference to its due date, so I'm taking it well. <{Moogle}> How have you been amusing yourselves, my collection of fine little deviants? well, Black & White is indeed immersive, fun, and very innovative. It is everything I expected it to be. The only problem I have with it is that it keeps crashing on Odin's PC. parr: The crashes are actually deliberate. Roughly 30% of the beta testers starved to death while refusing to leave the computer, so they programmed in periodic crashes to ensure the survival of their core audience. * {Moogle} thrashes around to the lesser known Nirvana hit, Smells Like Chocobos The power of wheat compels you. <{Moogle}> I'd eventually move up through east asia, taking over the military might of China, roll that west across Russia and Europe, expand a little south and form an African front, and then eliminate the Americas and nuke the polar caps for good measure. <{Moogle}> The world floods, end of civilisation as we know it, goodnight vienna. <{Moogle}> ...not that I've thought about it. moogle: and what would you DO after this? <{Moogle}> Learn to swim. <{Moogle}> develop a liking for fish. * {GM} blehs and straps dynamite to FloraD <{GM}> That'll teach you......HOW TO EXPLODE INTO LOTS OF TINY BITS! Ahahahaa. * {Moogle} paints "not a bomb" on the side of a huge anarchist fizzling bomb and hands it to Spyral <{Moogle}> Hold this. It's not a bomb. * little_sister smears mayonaise all over Moogle Mmm....slimey ........ewwwww. But he will be all soft and supple now * little_sister makes a note for her book..."Ten People That Just Might Be Safe to Have Sex With" ...not even going to ask. It's good for you. Put hair on your eyes. * little_sister does a quick tap dance. [little_sister:#malkavians PING] ta-da? Channel ping: the mike tap of IRC. "Is this thing on?" *crickets chirp* The Pissing Llama is an amazing story, a story of courage, of passion, and of a vaguely camel-shaped animal that, so far as we could tell, stood in the same spot and urinated for the better part, if not more, of two hours. We passed by the little creature zoo as we swept through the fair. It was there, by the fence. Pissing. We passed by, not yet knowing the wonders of the Pissing Llama. We came back again, sometime later, to see a show nearby. It was there, by the fence. Pissing. Spyral watched it for some time, fascinated. We eventually pulled away, and went to the show. It was one of those jousting things, with announcements, demostrations, and a swordfight. The bad guy won. Maybe an hour, half-hour had passed while we watched this. Then we left the show, out the same gate, which passed by the creature enclosure. The llama was there, by the fence. Pissing. At this point, we all stopped and stared. It was the same llama, there were no others. It hadn't moved. There was beneath it, not a stream, or a river, or even a small geological feature trying to break free, but a lake. A lake, spreading and flowing to the gentle current of a cascading stream of unending urine borne forth from this miraclous creature. I'm pretty sure we said a few things to each other, but I really can't remember what that might have been. I do recall a "damn!" or two. Eventually, the fair closed for the night, and as the people filed away, we too trudged towards the gates. But I couldn't resist a glance back, to gaze upon that incredible creature. It was there, by the fence. Pissing. <{Moogle}> Ahh <{Moogle}> my error in searching for a particular song on Napster lay in my eccentric tendency to SPELL THE FUCKING NAME RIGHT so it's like painting a sign on your forehead that says "pick me up! please I want your panting tongue in my ear!" * Spooke does further bitter reminiscing in his rocking chair * FatherDog sits around the fire and lets Grandpa Spooke tell about how thinks used to be. Thinks were simpler then. All "ook ook" and "me hungry", that sort of thing. * Spooke nods wisely, tapping his cane against the head of a nearby child introspectively. I'm sore, i'm tired, and i've apparently elevated running screaming to an art form. Actually, "the taste of bed" sounds mildly lled but I assure you, it's not. I inspire feelings of envy and admiration! Dogeron! My love! Ria! My far off concubine! parr! My most virtuous friend! FD: don't get those two mixed up, now. my brain meats stopped swirling wildly inside my skull.... i think thats a Good Thing(tm) <{GM}> ...the walls have ears... <{GM}> Fucking Nephandic decorators. <{GM}> I'm coming down with the CARBON PLAGUE Moog: look on the bright side. Maybe you'll turn out to be a Wizard and you won't have to type no more. <{GM}> That'd be a'right <{GM}> but the downside is that you're always connected ...downside? <{GM}> Slow and steady wins the race. <{GM}> A maxim which rarely holds up in motorsports. wow...a 63 lb 5 year old. That is impressive. <{[GM]}> in a nauseating sort of way <{[GM]}> Where're they from? Not Somalia, anyway... Nope...Scotland <{[GM]}> Really? Heh. Excellent. Must go poke the fat kid with sticks, create a future psycho you take a clown car...and stuff it full of clowns...and pour Jello all over them...tear away the car and you have a unique jello treat for the church social! Something folks would be talking about forever! sis, you are in fact a culinary genius. <{[GM]}> Clown meat in jelly.... <{[GM]}> Gypsy Surprise * Riahanna institutes FreeStyle Omni Kicking for the next Parrlympics. Give it rabies! Raaaaaaaaaabies! 5 inches taller than my own mum. She's the midget. <]Oni[> Yes. She's tiny. <]Oni[> But she's also pretty hot for a mature woman. <]Oni[> Maus inherited her amazing ass from her mom. Dear god! "Many women want better realtionships in bed, but doing know how to achive them... more after these messages" with a shot of a woman running her hands through her hair in a sexual manner. <{GM}> Is this the hair on her head? Yes. <{GM}> Bah. <{GM}> That could've been much more of a sexual manner. * {GM} turns into a giant expanding baby with all weird powers an' that There, Dei. Quit whining and observe the tit. * Maus does the Big Blue Titty Dance. * Maus confesses. It's my boob. It ran away for a few days, and now you see the result of its misadventures. Oh, the shame. <]Oni[> That's the wrong shape to be your boob. You're right. My breasts are cubical, with myriad sharp edges. is it wrong to want to have sex with a nun? Well, I mean "porn nuns" There are special porn nuns? Yep. They're hot. <{Moogle}> Brides of Christ, don't you know? <{Moogle}> So I imagine the wedding night must be like that scene from The Exorcist. * Dei giggles. I can be funny sometimes. <{Moogle}> Stroke that ego until it spurts forth hot sticky gratitude. <{Moogle}> I don't go in for these ineffectual shotgun blasts of anger, being a little bit bitchy at everyone who crosses my path at the same time. <{Moogle}> I focus it into a narrow beam of raging death and sweep it from person to person. Cancer really sucks. Doc: you are remarkably insightful. "something major is happening in my life!" "ah. it does not affect me very much, but I recogize that that is indeed very major. I give you my sympathy, which is , while small in comparison to what you are going through, what seems to be appropriate for me to give to you based upon our relationship" parr: ....that was a remarkably astute analysis of the sympathy process. You missed some humour. Thing had a dream where he had sex with Nyarlathotep, and the Crawling Chaos helped his mom pot some plants. ... it's true. Y'know, I'm not sure if there's really any appropriate response to that. According to Thing, Nyarlathotep is a Bottom. which creates a disturbing parallel with The South Park Movie. I'm not sure I wish to think about Thing riding the Crawling Chaos. Waittaminute. I distinctly remember us having a conversation about this in channel before. ..unless I dreamed it, of course... ...which is a distinct possibility anymore. Reality disconnection immenent... <{Moogle}> that never happens in the pictures. <{Moogle}> Secret Agent Jack Courage flips open his laptop to speak to the hacker who holds the evidence of the President going down on the corpse of Elvis, then spends about half an hour fiddling with it to make the cam link and audio work. <{Moogle}> and even when they do, spends half of the conversation saying "What? WHAT? What about the kettle? Oh, /metal/, right...hey, what happened to the picture? Have I crashed? Damnit..." * Dei listlessly waves a cutlass. * Dei hugs Moogle and strokes his silky white fur. I can have thee back by 5:30, if thou dost require it. * {Moogle} beats DrAndy <{Moogle}> From which century dost thou hail, addlepate? <{Moogle}> *beat beat* * Dei wants the rest of the set that makes Amaya look like a stripper! :) I seriously spent most of grades 6-10 planning on majoring in biology purely so I could research brain transplantation and cheat death. *** Topic is 'We prostrate ourselves before the fish-god Yob, who seems as effacious as any.' *** Set by Dei on Wed Apr 04 13:10:33 <{Moogle}> That's hilarious and disturbing at the same time. <{Moogle}> like a clown gangbang <{Moogle}> NO MORE OF THAT <{Moogle}> World domination now. It's the only path left. <{Moogle}> I'll crush all the world beneath my sandalled feet. <{Moogle}> Which means I'll have to get sandals. Damnit. M'friend John's in amsterdam right now. I'm going in 2 weeks or so ....of course, I don't know his phone number or where he's staying, so I can't imagine that this will have any effect on you. <{Moogle}> heheh <{Moogle}> wander the streets shouting "I'M LOOKING FOR A JOHN!?" <{Moogle}> That'll get you plenty of responses, I dare say. On an entirely related note, I discovered today that a gallon jug of milk hitting the pavement from a height of three feet makes a really interesting and pleasant "thwack" sound. Don't worry FD, we'll crush the Harkonen. JAM WON'T INCREASE MY LOVE AND POWER!!! I am frustrated, because my Alien is not fast enough to equip my new armor. It will take me a week to train his speed up, unless I can figure out a good training warmup, in which case I can do it in one day. Regular beatings! Beatings and shame. You are a cruel and violent man. SHAME WILL MAKE HIM FASTER! Every day, your heart grows colder. And you become more evil. I would not trust you to babysit my children, Mr. Cunningham. Why? Do they need to be faster, also? * Dei sits in a corner and looks shabby. * Dei pretends Dog is interested in In Nomine, and pretends to teach Dog about it. * Dei has a very fake life. Am I hard to get along with? Only when you're not getting laid. ...in other words, yes. God is punishing my village. Fire and water pour from the angry sky! Welcome to Mingo- City of Soot and Sulfur! It's the dirtiest place I've ever seen people lived voluntarily. * Maus dances in the glittery graphite. * Maus pluralizes Moogle and spreads him all around. i can type with my tongue But it takes a long time. And now the keyboard's wet. i'm not typing with my tongue, let me put it that way.... * Dei is typing with his penis. I'm also typing with Alex's penis. Wow. It really must be thin. No, my penis is just very precise. Maus prepares to go purchase foodstuffs. NOOO!!! * Dei cries. Don't leave me! Dei: Now did I cry when you left me today for you movie?? No. I took it like a big-dicked man. i've seen movies where big dicked men take it..... ...one day... I'll have watched Clockwork Orange enough times that I don't giggle hysterically the whole way through. That day hasn't come yet, though. can we please direct conversation away from my genitalia. <{GM}> Don't pretend you don't love it, you tart. No one ever says anything like "hung like Jesus" or "hung like Buddha" or anything, like we're not supposed to think about god-related people having thingies. * Riahanna sits on ED's face and hits him in the kidneys really hard. Just to be weird. Asparagus. How come you never see it at a buffet? Perhaps, just perhaps, 'cos it's VILE VILE STUFF THAT CRINKLES THE TOUNGUE AND BURNS THE SOUL?!? FD:It was the late 70's. I needed cash for mescaline and peruvian whores. I was desparate. Dei: You're like a finely cut jewel, with poop on it. Kindred are strange, when you're malkavian Ancillae are nervous, nowhere to be found Elders seem wicked you feel unwanted Elysium's empty, when you're around You look strange When you tear your own hair out in shame You look strange When you cannot recall your own name You look strange..... I have to get down to the comic shop soon. Must... rid... self... of... disposable... income. send.... money.... to.... poor..... austalian...... buy... gaming... supplies... for... potential.... GM... forget..... gm..... australian.... can...... visit.... forget... australian... gm... can... move... to... Jersey.. Dog: Have pizza delivered to me. I'll repay you by eating it. I am now seething with rage over this. Dick: That's good. Get a tape recorder. Go on a screaming rant at theUPS people and record it all. MAke sure not to actually mention them by name, just scream angry imprecations. When you're utterly exhausted, shut the tape off. Then take another tape and play bits from the first one into it at random. Mix up the sequencing and cut yourself off in the middle of full-throated screams. Fiddle it around until it's both frightening and confusing to the ear. It might not hurt to add in additional sound effects between clips onto the second tape. PEople screaming, dogs being kicked, explosions. Heh. Then call up someone you dislike from a payphone and play the tape in its entirety. Make sure you listen so that if they hang up, you can immediately stop tape and redial, so they get the full effect. FD.....the frightening thing is i know EXCATLY who i'm going to do that to. I'm just spreading the joy around. FD:thank you. you're a saint of hate. I'm always kind of expecting wee cute critters to snap and go for the throat. A couple of years ago the Danes voted a comedian into their parliament. His platform included better xmas presents, better weather, and the wind at your back when you cycle. Damn you, Easy CD Writer! Yes! Confound you for eating several of my CDs, unless confound is revealed to mean something less than painful! Fortunately 3 years of college have made me an expert in maintaining an upright and alert posture when I doze off. Andy, you cause fractal formations of fear to infect my screen. You can get a "lifelike, inflatable bear" It's for home protection. Ah. Because burglars will ignore home security systems, but if they see a bear in the house, well, it's just not worth breakin' in there, man. They've got a bear! Yeah! Man, this whole block is bear-infested! Best rob another neighborhood. And the community proudly kept its safety investment as a legacy. * {Moogle} draws up a shopping list which consists of the words "grass" "booze" and "women" over and over <{Moogle}> Yeah, people are always banging on about how smart bonobo chimpanzees and dolphins are... <{Moogle}> but do you see them inventing the internal combustion engine, or harpoon gun for more efficient fishing? <{Moogle}> Nooo <{Moogle}> Although the mental image of monkeys driving around the jungle in little monkey cars is quite appealing. <{Moogle}> Toottoot. Getouttatheway...monkey comin' through... I'm an organ donor! Although because of my immunodeficinecy disease I don't know if they'd wnat it...shame to go to waste...I guess they can use me as a cadaver at least. At the very least, you'd make a nifty doorstop. Or perhaps a coatrack. you could stuff me in tight fighting jeans and t-shirt, winking suggestivly -- you know, like they stuff bears in a very impressve "I'm going to kill you!" stance when they really shot them whiel they were asleep or something. * parr hefts the Spade of Morality high and clangs it down on parr 's head * FatherDog laughs. Yeah, we'll have a parr on the trophy wall. "And here we have the wily and dangerous Bulgarian Spy, captured in its natural habitat." bulgaria? never been there! lies parr If i want to kill and eat someone, I'll do it at a more convienent location "miss parr, the night before the murder you were observed purchasing 4 cases of "Kikoman Teriyaki Sauce"... <{Moogle}> the monkeys... <{Moogle}> they mostly come at night <{Moogle}> mostly <{Moogle}> and snowing... <{Moogle}> Monkeys don't like the snow <{Moogle}> it saps their mystical power <{Moogle}> or drains their batterys <{Moogle}> batteries <{Moogle}> or...some such junk. * {Moogle} feeds parr combat drugs * parr coughs em back out like giving a cat a pill! you will never catch me <{Moogle}> No! You'll need these for taking out the terrorists! Moogle: that's right...keep the hate all balled up inside! * {Moogle} prefers to leave the donkey work to the donkeys and manipulate them into doing his bidding from afar using his mega-l33t psychic powers. * {Moogle} wiggles his fingers in the air, palms down <{Moogle}> Dance, puppets, dance... can you stand on one leg and raise the other leg so it's straight out and about arm level? Hum. Hold on a sec. * FatherDog tries. I can, but if I make sure to keep my knee locked so my leg's straight, I get tired really fast. * FatherDog notes that the other people in the computer lab are giving him funny looks now. Spade of Morality, Spin Spin Spin! Show us the lled who's head we'll crack in! Your brain is a greedy vampire, starving for blood. And it occasionally goes into torpor. it's only fun to be dead when you're young. "ash and the charmingly defiant pikachu" - what is this teaching our children! <{Moogle}> so you're paying 40 extra? Suckery. Suckery? Is this some kind of Scottish perversion? <{Moogle}> HUSH FACE OR CRUSH FACE * {Moogle} lightning bolts Flewellyn Ow. <{Moogle}> I crush all who oppose my dread reign * Omnicynic can't figure what good a corpse is if it's not fodder for tacky consumerism. *** bolie is now known as bolies_wife hi i loves me some ham. <{Moogle}> .... ok, that's all i wanted to say. *** bolies_wife is now known as bolie <{Moogle}> beaten to death with a pound of pig <{Moogle}> What a way to go. <{Moogle}> hey, let's all play a game <{Moogle}> everyone hold their breath <{Moogle}> last one to die wins <{Moogle}> ... <{Moogle}> Dog! Kill! * {Moogle} lets FatherDog off the leash * FatherDog slavers, foams, and kills indiscriminately. AAARGH! * ChaosARGH gets his arm ripped off BAD DOG * ChaosARGH beats FD with the arm You know something's wrong when you argue with cooking show chefs. ... and then he agrees with you. ...that might be an indication you're yelling too loudly. Or, alternately, loud enough. I'm so completely uninterested in doing anything. Congratulations, you've joined Generation X. Here's your flannel. * Omni_Naga would gladly light himself on fire for a decent crowd. * Omni_Naga has made a good 75, 150 a day doing the street corner thing... Remember: God hates those who hate themselves. You know much about Istanbul? I know it's not Constantinople. ED: It's not Cons....damn *** Topic for #malkavians: M.O.O.G.L.E.: Mechanical Organism Optimized for Gratification and Logical Exploration *** #malkavians B_L_A_N_K_I_E 985106603 tonight on the xxxlanguange channel...HARDCORE SPANISH! how am I ever going to learn if I don't play with fantastically dangerous forces of nature? Anne: Well, when you get knocked up by Gigantor, you'll just have to expect huge babies. FD:Your rationalization of my PS2 purchase happened to work perfectly. Perry: Of course it did. I am wise and powerful. .... I wonder if Pentex owns Wal-Mart? Discounted Evil. Wyrm-taint at 70% off regular prices I've had this stupid theme song I thought of a few days ago stuck in my head since then. It's for "LARP Karp", the show in which magickarp tries to live action role play, but instead just flops around! "today Karp, you'll be playing a Tzim Elder!" *flop flop* *splash* "oooo, Karp!" * parr helpfully suggests that you don't commit insurance fraud I had this button when I was younger, you know the kind of button that you pay $1.50 or so for at a con that someone made with a button machine, and it said "Entropy requires no mantainece". And then, it got wet, and dried but it had this weird rusty color squiggles around the edge. it seemed oddly appropriate. "Pinto of Death! Legume of the kingdom of the dead!" - parr's first boyfriend, singing along to some heavy metal song with slightly changed words *** FatherDog changes topic to 'Oh come on, there's always a cornered surfaces and a fist. And barring that, an eyesocket. (Hagbutt) Holy shite, foreplay in Australia is a bit rough. (Mr_Badger) I thought foreplay in Australia consisted of shearing the hindquarters.' Much as I normally enjoy being out under the moon-drenched night, it pales when there's not very much to DO under the moon-drenched night. * AlexD is a pointless grudge. *** Saint_of_All_Drinkers has quit IRC (Quit: Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.) Logic is for sissies. Really? thought logic was for men? With women getting... um.. intuition, yeah, that's it. I thought it was with women getting emotional? Intuition is linked to that, apparently Hmmmm. I thought it was with women being psycho and inconsistent? Intuition is linked to that, apparently KILL! Nah. Hmmmm. Maim? * FatherDog watches Hagbutt exhibit the pure exuberant joy of a small child watching someone it doesn't like getting the shit kicked out of it on the playground. * Spooke feeds Cappy the Chocolate Cake of Damnation Airsick Gnome Terrorizes Town "We need more umbrellas," mayor says * Cappadocius is compiling a list of things that are better than sex. I've done just about everything and confirmed it twice. You sound like Santa Claus Clio. Badger: Ho ho ho. ;) * Handelolis sees clio in a curly white beard and fat and just.. oh boy... Handel: What do you think she is, an Italian grandmother? Santa Goth just doesn't seem to work. "Here you go little boy, some heroin. "I want a pony!" "Close, here's some horse." * Dei shows Dog pictures of Andy falling down the stairs. * Dei buys some brass knuckles, as all good thugs should have brass knuckles. I DO NOT MEET THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THAT WEAPON!? You have too many fingers. <{Moogle}[MiB]> Freaky. <{Moogle}[MiB]> This fruit juice is 8% skimmed milk. <{Moogle}[MiB]> Milk isn't a fruit. * Dei kicks Doc. *kick kick* Dog! Alex: What? Dog: No, I was calling Doc a dog. I meant it as an insult. Sorry if any confusion arose, but I mean, it's like your name is Dickhead or something. I was unaware of that. Color me provincial. * Handelolis already has, Alex. It's a dull, uninteresting tan. * FatherDog didn't really feel like getting into a discussion of "shattering the perceptions and freeing the minds through putting jello down the trousers" tonight. * the_fiend looks confused.... * Handel doesn't notice any deviation from the fiends normal expression *** Topic is 'Do not allow your Vampires to become desensitized to violence. Beat them harder each day.' *** Set by Mr_Badger on Fri Jul 24 22:02:59 * Cappadocius returns with milk and cookies. Kinda puts a new spin on Gehenna, doesn't it? Do you want to go to Endfest? Where is it? When is it? What does it cost? Will I get to have sex afterward? It's Endfest, not End-of-the-worldFest, Alex. Offer him a good ol'-fashioned home cooked meal, just like mother never used to make 'cause she was a selfish bitch. * Handel holds sunlight in his right hand and invades the sleep of the dreamer * clio , apparently a labrador, looks fierce. * Cappadocius points. Look, it's Maus! ./She's/ not lumpen! Malkavian Elders are feared? Is this why they always look worried when I show up to parties unannounced? Handel: That's more of a "Shit, the price of Rum went up yesterday" sort of fear. * Handel is ancient. Order is natural to him. * Handel is ancient. Chaos is laughter to him. * Handel laughs a lot. What can you do? Drink lots of beer and date strangers? Hey FD, how goes it in the land of the living? I wouldn't know. * FatherDog moulders and rots. How're you? Tolerable, tolerable. 'sgood. And the kids? All dead. wonderful! * FatherDog nods. Tasty, too. I like to think I'm amusing myself, even when I'm not. * Anne_Gwish pokes ED in the man boobs Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Er... Inspector Morse? * parr purrs like a steamboat Never express interest in people's personal lives again. It can only lead to trouble. * Handel is, of course, bad, but hides it better. You're bad in the way that the Dread Pirate Roberts was bad. Father is bad the way that Charles Manson was bad. * Handel is cool with the Dread pirate thing pedantic point making mother fucker that i am... No privliges here Ria, just beatings. In a proper world Democrat would mean a person who likes blowing things up. So, who shot the antelope? Was it you? You, the one with matching tartan eyelids? No! It was the one-limbed man! The man with the glass rectum! Ay ay ay! .... varied body parts ache. I need a tune-up. your sleeping self wants all the liquor..fortunatly, your waking self knows how to use power tools. * Spooke assures Parr that he is not a charlatin at all, but a small subsect of Italian Viking * parr thinks everyone is forgetting the old, more violent parr. the Parr that disconected Dr. Mordrid from his happy sacks. * Spooke grins at Dog and opines that Parr is a sweet and angelic engine of destruction well, I used to be... *** ChanServ changes topic to 'Every once in a while a girl gets pissed off at her significant other. Every once in a while like whenever he blows her off for roleplaying. (clio)' *** ChanServ changes topic to 'I'd be happy he's blowing you at all, clio. (AlexD)' hey, would it be cruel to give all the little girls that really wanted a beatiful horse a ugly doneky instead? or would it teach them to not judge by appearnces and love what's inside? especially because what's inside could kick their face in? * FatherDog senses there is more to this statement. * FatherDog furthermore senses that he is about to hear what more there is, in great detail. The descent into the abyss, next on Oprah. Hagbutt: You're a meaniehead of sarcasm. I always treat #malkavians like Monkey Island. You can't die, and you win fights with wit. *** ChanServ changes topic to 'To an Englishman, 100 miles is a long distance. To an American, 100 years is a long time. (AlexD)' *** ChanServ changes topic to 'Praise be to my buttocks, as they are godly. (mr_badger) Badger, Demigod of Buttocks. His father was Hades, God of Dark Places, and his mother was a mortal milkmaid. (Hagbutt)' We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the su--ahhh! *burst into flame* Am I a dinner fork or a salad fork? I don't know why my body does this to me, but I'm going to have a word with it with a large hammer. * Riahanna^ pounces ED and sticks her tongue down his throat, then sticks a long metal tube down his throat, then follows it with a chocolate rose and a Kyle doll, and then stomps on his neck for awhile. Cut: Ah well. Have a good time till I catch you next, then. Dog: I'm going to remember that when they put the hooks in my eyelids and I'm staring up at the laser. Thanks. *** LaChica has quit IRC (Quit: Drunkeness is next to Godliness, because you think you're invulnerable and you love everybody.) * Omnicynic considers God's track record of killing people, hurling fire from the sky, and other things we'd call genocide if a human did them, and wonders if God-forsaken is truly such a bad thing. * DrAndy (amidst being molested) bows deeply to the parr. * ninja_parr leaps on Quin and attacks him with the Deadly Blows of the Whispering Hands, which is really more like a Ninja Backrub. "Darn, I can never get that move right." * FatherDog conspicuously cleans his guns, just in case any of the psychos coming in get any ideas. Father: Personally, I like any gun as long as it puts holes in things. * ninja_parr does some fantastic flying rolls and kicks, which you only see out of the corner of your eye because you're watching something much more intresting. * ninja_parr throws a scaling hook over a rafter and shimies up, silently! Deadly-y! And ninja crap like that! so you're not not an infernalist? parr: Apparently you're not not a logician. lick me and win a dollar * DerF licks piZ a couple thousand times so he can pay off his debts. You've licked off all the honey glaze! Yes, the New Breast (tm)! It slices, it dices, it gets cable and can measure distances up to 1000 metres without error! * Riahanna^ 's penis just happens to be one centimeter long, is all. * ChaosMage has a penis also, but since that is fairly normal for male mammals it isn't very interesting. * the_fiend goes to great efforts to make his penis as uninteresting as possible.... Still, I rather like the line used by my old friend Heather Schenkman... "Quin, why can't guys be like you?" Quin: Ouch. * Omnicynic goes with the Hellraiser motto; you can always use a little more skin. * Riahanna^ retrieves Andy's penis, and keeps it for later use. * Omnicynic mourns for wounded pasta. I was just meditating on the joys of cleansing fire as applied to lush, green landscapes and other eyesores, actually. why don't I have antelope horns? I'd really like some. sure, it would make lying on my back in bed more difficult. but it would add imensly to my chaacter. You know, you can walk in on some really strange conversations in this place. <{Moogle}> That's why we're here. <{Moogle}> That and house arrest. * parr jiggles her leg irons * Ukolovik removes all objects from his nose, for the sake of social decorum. i don't like you anymore lelio. fiend: Pity. I love you. Mind if I impregnate myself with your semen, ala Arnie in that movie? "...a clingy little belly-tee and a pair of flirty satin slacks with nothing underneath. What're you wearing, Grandma?" Clio, can i thwack you with sticks while shouting ode to joy? If you like, Thing. Mmmh. Thing performance art studio would like to proudly present its summer offering, Farting Bumblebee * Richard_McCart dances around clio, randomly hitting her with various size and texture sticks, while shouting the ode to joy * Richard_McCart stops Thank you. <{Moogle}> I must've trapped a nerve in my neck. Ow ow ow. <{Moogle}> I need a headectomy. <{Moogle}> THAT'S NOT AN INVITATION. * _TheThing consumes chaos....AND HIS SOUL <_TheThing> BWAHAHAHAH! FEAR MY WANKYWRATH! * FatherDog consumes Things shoes... AND THEIR SOLES! <_TheThing> Damnit FD, you always have to upstage me * DerF sighs quietly. Erwin Rommel was _so_ cool. <_TheThing> Damn, i'd give my right arm for an illegal bowel disruptor "Look out! The zombies are attacking!" "..nooooot....attaaaaaackinggg....weeeee....neeeeed...maaaaaaiiiiinnnnntenaaaaaannnnnceeeee...maaaaaannnn" "whyy yooooou thiiiiiink we riiise frooom deaaaaddd? Itttt nasssssty iin therrrrrr" Do you keep your house like this? huh? I mean we don't ask for much... * zombie_parr starts crying oozy yucky slime tears <{Moogle}> Night Of the Fussy Dead * parrgoo bubbles up from the earth * {Moogle} blasts the parrgoo with a lightning bolt hey! * {Moogle} follows up with fireball <{Moogle}> Hey what? What do you want, monster? * parrgoo calls uppon the Heavenly Powers of Cartoon Morals to change moogle into a goo for the 22 minute episode so he'll learn what it's like <{Moogle}> *phlurp* <{Moogle}> ... <{Moogle}> now my couch is a mess. <{Moogle}> I'm never gonna get these cushions clean. * the_fiend leaves to beat himself with a branch of an olive tree for his dirty thoughts....... now that i *can* enjoy. YES! Smutty Marmosets! lelio...hrm...didn't i hear about this one Ophelia: That's because the others are forbidden to speak my name, lest I be summoned from my deathly slumbers and wreak deadly interior decorations upon the world of man. deadly interior decorations? Ophe: Have you SEEN his interior decorations? I didn't know plaid velour existed. Ooh! Make advances at me! I wanna flaunt my heterosexuality!! * Ukolovik is a flaming king. * The_Piglet tilts his head, as not to look the least bit disturbing. His eyes grow large and soft. Piglet: You're an animate, walking children's book character that drinks blood. You're going to look somewhat disturbing no matter what angle your head is at. ohio? what's out there Ophe: clio, Alex, a couple of my relatives, and a lot of empty space. * Lelio_Indigo is as weak willed as a lump of warm wax, and rather proud of it * Ukolovik experiments w/ Vicissitude to turn his body into one big erogenous zone. *** FatherDog changes topic to 'Move to New Jersey, marry your first cousin, breed mutant babies and pit them against other mutant babies in gladiatorial combat to the death! It will be GLORIOUS!' * AlexD holds his head. I can't believe I'm friends with people so tragically uncool. I'm a kinder, gentler parr. Look. One childe of mine went bad and had to be put down. The other thought she was a valkyrie, went Sabbat, and ran off. Good riddance, she was nuts. I am NOT going to do anything. Quin: The the third burn down, fall over, then sink into the swamp? Okay, note to self, ME AM NOT FUNNY I need a machine gun! Whoohoo! Hot Lead! people flying everywhere! cause it rata-tata-tatas! and makes things explode and jerk around! pure power at my fingertips! shakes my earwax loose! *** LaChica has quit IRC (Quit: FD is a Booty Snatcher, but we love him anyway.) * the_fiend grins the grin of a grining fiend. * EquusDeus licks his eyebrows. * Lelio_Indigo strips Dracor naked and attacks him with nipple sized pastry cutters. * FatherDog is Polish and Irish. He's whiter than iced milk. Ah yes. Destroy civilization, then wallow in carnal pleasure amongst the ruins. * parr eats a baby canoe. * parr feels a compelling need to call her boyfriend..must..exchange..information! Must..talk..in..cute...voice! Mmm...drugs. Mocha flavored..yummy :) Mocha flavored drugs? Mocha-flavoured drugs? Hmm... * Omnicynic looks over at Dog. Dog: I think we have a marketable idea. * EquusDeus smokes some pot and grows his hair out. * EquusDeus holds large concerts where free love and drugs are the main attraction. * EquusDeus creates a world populated by vegetarian wiccan hippies ED: When do we break out the nukes? Padre: Pretty soon. * parr plucks out a hair, wraps it around her finger, rips it in half, and she's gone, just like that! *** EquusDeus changes topic to 'Name ED's penis.' I could call it Yoda? < It's small, green, and misshapen? * EquusDeus blinks. ED: bah. lots of power in a small package? "Excited I am getting, yes. Harden I will." Wrinkly, I could see. Green, no. That's not a normal colour. That and it sounds like grover. Do you want it to sound like grover? I'd rather it not talk. Hey, if some guy's penis talked like grover to me, I'd be pretty imprssed. skippy. ED....name it skippy. I've seen them dance, never heard them talk..... I'm sorry, I'll shut up. Skippy is a great name for a penis. Susan? Enid! Or Marlene me and the mun vote strongly against Susan. name it Slobodan You could call it Fortunato! "Lucky"! I like Fortunato. Except if you say you spent the night with Fortunato everybody will think you're flaming from there to Afghanistan. How about "Destroyer of Worlds"? Or "Cuthulu"? Moose? Mylarhothep? Name it after a TV character Tinky Winky? Shaft? He's the private dick who gets all the chicks! Perry Mason? Batman! That way when a girl sees it and sez "What is that?!?" you can answer in a deep voice..."It's Batman!, baby" Call it a space cowboy. Maurice (whoo whoo!) I gave up doing dishes for this? The Naming of ED's penis" sounds like a porn movie. You should call it the Little Rebel, in honor of your southern heritage. *** EquusDeus changes topic to 'ED's penis has a name. Skippy.' no... knives doesn't belongs to everyone... just some... (w) special ones get knives that speak i am but a man gorgeous, sexy, intellegent, but still just a man Loth: "intellegent"? Heh. Ooo, the irony. O_o o.O O.O o.o ¬.¬ * FatherDog hides in fear from all the ASCII faces. They're watching him, man... * Lelio_Indigo distrusts the oboe as an instrument * lil-jean just wants a penis of her own to love and to cherish and to name winkle note: if someone looks good soaking wet, they most likely look good without makeup in the morning. Words of wisdom from Amhorach's mother, circa 1984 * parr rubs her own back with visc-long arms well, ever have an itchy spot you can't quite get to? not anymore with visccistude! of course, you could also scoop the itchy spot right out of your back and toss it around like a meaty batgammon shuttlecock, but hey, that's your perogative! <{Moogle}> DG sounds....fresh. Moogle: Fresh? <{Moogle}> Alex: Yeah, it sounds like the sort of game that you could keep the rulebook in the fridge for an hour, then take out and press against your cheek and go "ooaaaarhhhhh" as it touches your skin. * AlexD notes that "Pistol Whipping is not the answer" was a common enough adage in his Cthulhu games that it made the 10 Rules of Cthulhu Investigations. * the_fiend nods, in a nodding sort of way... Amuse me. * FatherDog amuses Quin. This involves people dying, but hey, that's comedy. * {Moogle} smells like lust <{Moogle}> (so I'm told) * HarlequinG scatters some caltrops to make his point. Not that they help make his point. But caltrops are neat. My parents tend to ask questions like "What's that strange thumping from the closet?" and "What are you using so much olive oil for?" Pop quiz, Dog. SOmeone's just been Blood Bound to you by accident. What do you do about it? Quin: What do *I* do, or what do *you* do? *I* will ignore them until I need a favor of some sort. *You* will probably get all weepy and introspective about it. * FatherDog is a pretty, pretty man. * AmayaBunny still remembers easter about 4 years ago when fiend came to a goth club all in white with a white trenchcoat and white bunny ears and gave out chocolate Glitter glue is great for making valentines but you need a /lot/ to get a human heart to stick to a piece of card "See Quin. See Quin angst. Angst, Quin, angst! See Dog. Dog has a shovel. Dog gets tired of Quin's angst. What will Dog do?" "See Spy. See Spy unF. unF, Spy, unF. See parr. parr has a spade. *SPONG*" See fiend. fiend has a beard. See fiend's beard. See DerF. DerF's hair doesn't like fiend's beard. See the carnage. Kill, hair, kill! The frenzied screwing of the gods can only result in an earth-shattering cataclysm that will destroy all human life as we know it. So sign right here. * Lelio_Indigo arrives freshly scrubbed and packaged in cling film. (And nothing else. Muaha.) What's it about? a guy who gets aids and then contracts some disease that will turn him into a vegetable. so he has a bigass party and then kills himself. and he's gay. And Jewish. And black. And a Rastafarian. And a quadruple amputee. It's heartwarming. *** HarlequinG changes topic to 'Tonight's engineering question: Think of a way for a quadruple amputee to kill himself.' <{Moogle}> flat headed nonperson. Howdy. * {Moogle} shouts and fights with himself * {Moogle} drinks medicine in the street and dances with airborn insects of some kind. * Spyral puts Moogle in her mouth. * {Moogle} continues arguing with and shouting at himself, but more......muffled. <{Moogle}> groo aarrr and the isn't it? No, I don't think groo arrgh you fuckers, I love you like my own graarrghh * {Moogle} throws a bottle at a passerby. Despite being in Spyral's mouth. * Spyral spits everyone out to fight in the open. * {Moogle} staggers towards Amy and breathes on her <{Moogle}> hsssssssshhhhhhh <{Moogle}> graargh! * {Moogle} puts up his fists at Amy, whirls them around for a few moments, then falls over and starts foaming at the mouth * {Moogle} lies on his back again and carries on a sotto voce conversation with the ceiling, whispering and *cough* exchanging conspiratorial looks with it about the rest of the wherehouse <{Moogle}> Ahah. Pee Wee again. <{Moogle}> ironically charged with the offence of zen in a public place. <{Moogle}> (that's "the sound of one hand clapping" for those of you hard of thinking) "Back when I was your age, I didn't need to wear pants 50x too big to show I've got a big dick. I just pulled it out and played baseball with it. * Emily_Nelfnoffen watches a cat go flying by her window. It looks miffed. A bit windy out tonight. * Lelio_Indigo is endearingly fickle. Well, he likes to think it's endearing. Arioch: DIE! * Arioch dies. Good boy. Have a biscuit. Bv:I'd rather be consuming small cute creatures than watching them fuck <{Moogle}> People are weird. They're all so different. <{Moogle}> Which is why I like to collect them and keep them in jars. <{Moogle}> Well, the interesting bits of them. *** Topic is '"If punk is dead, then I'm The Punisher. No, that doesn't work actually, as I AM The Punisher."' *** Set by {Moogle} on Sat May 27 22:18:03 But Thing is gay. clio: Thing graduated from Flaming Gayboy to Flaming Bi-boy sometime last year. I think he enrolled in Breeders 101 his freshman year or something. Parr the miracle worker! She helps the elderly and the lame, with her magical mauling! mommy, what are those strange things chirping outside my window? Melissa: We call those the "Mi-Go" <{Moogle}> my only friend, the end Or, alternately, porn. <{Moogle}> Porn is no-one's friend <{Moogle}> Porn is Porn's friend <{Moogle}> or is that Hoggle? <{Moogle}> Yes. Porn is Hoggle's friend. FD...you being single minded and predatory is one of the reasons I like you. sis: Awww, you're sweet. Did I ever mention that there are a smattering few people of questionable judgement wandering this green earth? Omni: Do tell. What will be your next revelation, that the sun sets in the West occasionally? There should be more unprovoked panda attacks on humans. There was some show on the Travel channel that had a couple pandas reaching through zoo bars and tossing people around. I want to see more panda beatdown. Grave of the Fireflies is someone everyone should watch once. Twice, if you're trying to get up the resolve to commit suicide. ED! * EquuZilla nails DOc up on a cross. * DrAndy bleeds from his cross. Eli, Eli, lama sabacthani? DrAndy: from the cross to the grave, now... * parrpanther gets about a metric tone of linen ready. * DrAndy bleeds from his cross. * DrAndy dies, and the curtains tear in the warehouse, spilling in sunlight. NOOO! The light! It burnsssssssss! DrAndy: graaa---*POOF* * DrAndy rolls around dead for a few days. DrAndy: stay /still/ while I embalm you! or whatever you call it when the jews did it. * parrpanther uses her 'secret blend' of 11 herbs and spices * parrpanther rolls a biiiig stone in front of DrAndy's grave and goes off to do some weepin' * DrAndy takes some time to rest in his cool sepulchre. * parrpanther checks her watch * parrpanther knocks on the tomb 3 day wake up call! parrpanther: Have a little patience... he's not even fully baked yet. You have to give it time for all the righteousness to seep through. mmm...righteiousness Damn Jehovah Witnesses... * DrAndy pushes on the stone from the inside, grunting. aaaaaand work! and push! and work! and push! get those abs rock hard! * DrAndy puts some tai-bo on the stone, and it rolls away. Hoorah! * parrpanther sneaks up on mary magdaline ahem. "EEK!" He has Risen! * DrAndy falls over, realizing he is still embalmed. doh * Ialdabaoth leaps in and torches DrAndy with a flamethrower. DIE YOU DAMNED ZOMBIE!!! * parrpanther leads a troop of angels to pull Hentai into the squad-chariot I HATE zombies - nnh? Hm. I need silence, menace and sexual tension. And it just isn't happening. * HentaiWTF screams, and launches flaming porcupines out his ass. * {Moogle} uses Hentai to shoot down incoming choppers * HentaiWTF makes lots of noises that you would expect of a man from whom 500 flaming porcupines were shooting out his ass per second. * {Moogle} points Hentai out of the skylight. It's slightly safer. * HentaiWTF continues screaming, as flaming porcupines arc out his butt and wizz through the air towards New Jersey, to rain from the sky and land in flaming scorchmarks on the pavement. Strangely, noone much notices. Hentai: It's gonna have to rain something more dangerous than flaming porcupines before us in Jersey sit up and take notice. * parr wants a simple, plain woman - with a large, glowing lure attached to her forhead! Well, mainly because there are no college courses in "Sex 101: Manual Dexterity" and "Where You Should Hit That Fucking Rottweiler When It Jumps For Your Throat (taken pass/fail.)" * Lelio_Indigo is, in Jungian terms, a profoundly unintegrated person. Shadow and Light, rather than merging, have created a sort of chocolate and vanilla ice cream ripple effect. Pissing contests are a lot shorter if you aim for the eye. * Kazz stuffs {Moogle} into a bag. * {Moogle} drools and chews on the bag with sharp little moogle teeth moogles have sharp teeth? <{Moogle}> Catlike. Needle-sharp. ugh! but..you're... cute and soft and fluffy... you're a teddybear fairy! <{Moogle}> ..... <{Moogle}> I'm gonna eat her <{Moogle}> Simple as that <{Moogle}> and don't try to talk me out of it * {Moogle} thrashes around inside the bag, wearing a hole <{Moogle}> gonna get OUT of here....and then EAT her...teddybearfairyindeed ....gagakgabakgjbrugbaihjdgbasassenfrassenrassen... Look at his itty-bitty wings! <{Moogle}> YOU AS WELL <{Moogle}> YOU'RE ON THE HITLIST TOO, MISSY <{Moogle}> piss on da man <{Moogle}> down with authority <{Moogle}> ...do what I say Personally, I think the US should elect a laser wielding bloodthirsty nanobot that never sleeps. Lelio: That's your solution to everything, though. <{Moogle}> Imagine a pepsi max advert for the undead. Cans of carbonated red liquid served at just above body temperature, whilst pasty faced white boys run a gauntlet of randomly-appearing shafts of sunlight. <{Moogle}> extreme sports for the vitally-challenged And random Catholic cardinals brandishing crosses and on bungee cords dropping from the ceiling. *boing* "ARGH! THE BLINDING LIGHT OF TRUTH!" hentai, are you actin' evil again? hentai: being evil gives you cancer. and gout. and the head of a goat. and the condition known as hot dog fingers. I like gout. when you've got a llama, you've got a friend! fd: find something sharp and made of surgical steel in your stocking! "ok joe we've got a ten percent increase in jehovah's fx budget this year, what do you wanna buy with it?" "a few more flashpots?" "excellent. and still within budget." <{Moogle}> "hmm...can't we drop this second appearance of the burning bush and splash out on a pillar of fire?" "pillar of fire means we have to have the fire crews standing by.... burning bush means we just need a water hose." WHORES!!! FUCK THE WHORES!!!! ...that's the general idea, yes. <{Moogle}> Bring 'em on <{Moogle}> I'm a lean mean whorin' machine <{Moogle}> I'll rip through those little minxes like a peer of the realm, by jove! * the_fiend pats his tummy * FatherDog pats fiend's tummy. Like a bearded buddha, he is. you have good luck now. ohm manny pad me uhm I am in love. <{Moogle}> a good supply of porn will clear that right up, doc. *** Topic is 'We're all one year closer to the time when this rock floats into the sun. Time proceeds in the direction of increasing entropy. Happy New Year.' *** Set by FatherDog on Mon Jan 01 04:45:55 <{Moogle}> Heh <{Moogle}> Amsterdam has a gay zoo <{Moogle}> a lake full of lesbian flamingoes, and the monkeys are all at it all the time. <{Moogle}> Perfect! parr would know. <{Moogle}> she has shady connections, being a thug an' all Moogle: that's "treasure hunter"! :) So, what have you folks been up to in my absence? <{Moogle}> we all realised we were gay <{Moogle}> and then two days later realised we were straight again <{Moogle}> so we've got a lot of sequins to be used up in one way or another I am going to go under the table. find the scsi cable that is bothering me. and chew it to death. <{Moogle}> I have an excellent memory, as well-ordered as a beehive and as solid as lead. I can't sleep. Will you guys entertain me? Odds are, probably not. You know what I hate about sushi? A few hours later, you're hungry again. You know what I hate about sushi? S'made of fish. * parr likes vampires. and the sweet, sweet blood. Whoops, I didn't say that. FD: we need regularly scheduled spontanuity! Ialda: they're sanitised and prepackaged for consumption like the "angel" stuff they sell in stores. These are not the awe some beings that can bring death or shine like molten gold with visages too terrible to see. They're smiley dopey women or even worse naked babies. http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/guides/dolphin.html parr (aloud) " Pornopartners?!" odin: "I choose you!" Aw, Ria's so cute when she's violent. * MrEff files that away under "Good Things To Know when Bleeding From Your Orafices" * little_sis bounces from foot to foot. Not her own, mind you. Whenever you're having self-confidence problems...just remember... you're not me! * parr engages in the sin of glutony I don't know whether the fact that 60% of my best friends are on-line is pathetic or qualifies me as a pioneer of the Information AGe. I prefer to think of it as not letting the tyranny of geographical location determine who I care about. Works for me. I think german is pretty. German always sounds like you're summoning demons That's what I said. Pretty. You've got to worry when big German women sing and wave knives about. Sure sign somebody's longboat is going to be hurting soon. <{Moogle}> I can't really see a dalek moshpit or anything. Not much bouncing going on either. <{Moogle}> maybe if there were ramps and springs.. Moog: It'd be more like bumper cars. Loud, ill-tempered bumper cars. <{Moogle}> I bow before thy mastery of language and lightning wit, O Sultan of the skies, O sharp-tongued font of wisdom. <{Moogle}> Dick. * Omnicynic had a halo, but then his TV needed an antenna and, well... <{Moogle}> Yeah, Americans are loved and adored in the middle and far east. <{Moogle}> enjoy a relaxing 12 year vacation chained to a radiator in Laos I hate you! give me your shoes! * parr takes out hot, steaming slices of moral ambiguity and spreads them with butter. * parr begs not to be traded in for a $50 "best buy" gift certificate * parr sticks her hand in FD's corpse and roots around to find the Free Surprise Toy * FatherDog is, in fact, magically delicious. <{Moogle}> the Disco Diva Dalek <{Moogle}> half killing machine dedicated to destroying all inferior life, half supercamp gay activist heh "exterminate all lower funk species." "Now, do you want your victims bound up, or do you prefer them free range?" EDG: I have no idea what that statement relates to, but I'm interested. <{Moogle}> There was an old guy in the bank today...I overheard his conv ersation with one of the managers...oh my..see, he was apparently in to change his account because one of the banks (mine...woo-hah) give more than 40 times the amount of interest on a credit account than any of the others <{Moogle}> and I heard him say "...thanks..thanks...this is..so, it's not a one-off thing? This much interest? That's great. It's a wonder all the other banking illuminati aren't getting together for a big meeting about this..." ....my father is yodelling in the next room Who Wants to be a Jackass has taken Wheel of Fortune's place as "The show you watch after Jeopardy to recover your sense of self-worth." * FatherDog gibbers and gambols around parr. <{Moogle}> Gibberling! * {Moogle} slays FrD for 15xp * FatherDog gibbers at Moog and dies, leaving behind a stinking, oily pelt and a worthless, pitted short sword. * parr gibbles and gambols in the gabe with FD * {Moogle} slays parr for 15xp hey! * parr respawns angrily * parr leads moogle on a run through the forest, where he gets caught in a cutscene with an NPC. While he's stuck talking, she steals his loot. My mom doesn't believe in atoms and she worships eggs. I don't want any Beanie Hitlers! omni: hey, you're the one schleping around in the form of an ancient bone dragon now and again. what do you expect? you're your own worst propaganda device. parr: Believe it or not, people accept the bone dragon as some avatar of their ancient mythologies. It gets more respect than I do. parr: I think it's presentation. Wisdom and prophency spouted by some college kid, who cares? Wisdom and prophency spouted by an ancient dragon, that's important. Omni: so, you're sort of like a Spirit version of Kinko's? Actually, he's the spiritual version of Puff Daddy. Doing popular remixes of better, older songs. * ^chris_ is having a split with reality, join us in progress <{Moogle}> When Animals Open Fire WE're the cool people. And we are outnumbered, so we must defend our own. outnumbered by whom? OUtnumbered by those that are not us. Call them Mundanes, if you wish. Call them Pinks, if you subscribe to that mentality. Call them Greyfaces, if you take on that belief system. Beliefs are a trap. But beyond it all, there are people that are not us, that are not interesting, that cannot see beyond their own little lives. And we are outnumbered, so we must defend our own. Solidarity. FD: when do we get to go out in force and numbers and begin the revolution? And that's a typical reaction from those that see in themselves from difference from the norm and thus blindly ally themselves with anything else that differs. Revolution. Stuff. Put a new regime in place of the old. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Just he new boss likes anime instead of football. Same regime in place, just different Normal. Maybe a little more fun for those of us with those proclivities, but just as crap, in general./ WE need a general overhaul of thought patterns... fix that faulty headmeat. But that's not gonna happen. So we keep in mind that when you're different from the norm, it denotes the possibility of seeing that there are so many other possibilities... and realizing hthe incredible limitations of just choosing one set of them. So people that differ, that dare to be outside the crowd, are at least by nature moved towards the possibility of another step. But we are outnumbered in the extreme, and thus we need to band together... to show that an attempt to destroy us or opress us will meet with massed opposition. Thus... we look after you over there, even though we may not agree with many of your core assumptions, and we know that you are not the same sort of different as we are. *** Topic is 'Star Wars does: <{Moogle}> bionic scrotum? With Tau Cannons? <{Moogle}> No, big sticks' *** Set by Richard_McCart on Sat Mar 24 23:16:15 * amoonshdw hands FD a cloth to polish his fading youth thats because you ARE the Vast Right Wing Conspiricy, CM well, it's a long and complicated story... It started with Petey the Love Monkey. He was my first monkey. I'm not sure if any of you were on the nList when I brought Petey into the world, but... he started out as a one-shot gimmick. then, my monkeylove lay quiescent until... The State. Monkey Torture - That was the career for me. Luring monkeys to your secret lair... Then, you'd pretend that they weren't in the room when they were right there ("Oh, where's Bobo? I'll bet he'd like this banana") or driving right up to the edge of the jungle and sitting there for a few minutes, then turning around and driving home... that sort of thing. Well, to be a monkey torturer, requires study - so I looked into it. I guess there's no one reason why I like monkeys, it's sort of a personality trait that congealed out of my experiences in life. buddhadog: look, bitch, if the Meet is at the beach house, we will play Kobolds Ate My Baby!. You will enjoy it, as it allows you to play a mean-spirited little lizard-dog who eats babies, sets fire to chickens, and detonates cattle out of spite. <{Moogle}> y'know, if I was a Mage, I'd make my semen taste like chocolate. <{Moogle}> Dunno quite how it'll fit into any particular paradigm <{Moogle}> but it has it's advantages <{Moogle}> "I dunno what you /thought/ I was doing...I was just...fixing up a shake...." mmmm, throat-fuckin. ask Equus how hellfuck out in Alabama I am. Ed: H ow hellfuck out in Alabama is he? I got out of my car and was immediately told I had a purty mouth. Garsh! ED: Wow, not just hicks, but legally blind. * clio crawls on boys. Yay, boys! *** clio changes topic to 'Less talk, more cunnilingus!' * clio chills on the hood of her ride wit her bitch Nette. * Nette_ is pointedly white at clio Nette: Actually, you're sort of beige. Lesbians make anything better. <{Moogle}> My impulse buying urge has changed into an impulse bombing urge. Dog is the antithesis of all that is pure. He defines evil. It's neat. <{Moogle}> Enough about weight. No-one cares about weight. Weight matters to no-one. More about breasts. Everyone's interested in breasts. Breasts matter to everyone. Nette has a brain the size of a pencil eraser. She eats her own young. <{Moogle}> sdfkjbsgkb!! <{Moogle}> apoplectic....with.....rage..... <{Moogle}> no, wait. I mean afk due to fatigue I was relatively even tempered. Considering. ED: Relatively even-tempered, provided your relative scale is 1 to 10, with 1 being Milk and Cheese and 10 being Hitler. Alex: See? The groin is the Magic Anti-Brainwashing button. <{Moogle}> That probably works better if you've got the slightest clue what I'm talking about, but that's no biggie <{Moogle}> your blank expressions amuse me * Dei smashes Moogle. HULK SMASH! <{Moogle}> funny, looks more like Bruce Banner to me <{Moogle}> it's the skintone Hrrmmmm... Yeah, it's tough to picture Alex smashing. HULK VICIOUSLY BERATE! HULK PEEVED! HULK BELITTLE AND DISMISS IMPATIENTLY! HULK HAVE HISSY FIT! <_TheThing> FD:alex+codpiece=san loss Unfortunately, she looks young enough to have pulled a Ricci/Ryder maneuvre. That's when you get a legitimate career in acting before you're 18, thus bypassing that all-important period of time where you're old enough to act in porn and unknown enough to need the money. Moogle and Nette should have babies. They'd be furry and really good at music. I will keep you, little oscillating fan. Keep you and protect you, keep you safe and sound. Because I like you. For some godawful reason. ....why do people only ever like us for godawful reasons? <{Moogle}> I went for a walk in that stupidly cold night last night, and it cleared up both my head and my chest. <{Moogle}> I think I'm ice elemental <{Moogle}> regaining HP and what have you *pop!* *pop!* *fizz!* *fizz!* <{Moogle}> oh what a relief it is <{Moogle}> heroin * {Moogle} moonwalks up and down, ripping gaping, sucking holes in time and space as he does so * {Moogle} pulls Dog's mask off to reveal...a bloody skull fiend: You're just a cuddly ball of love, you are. * FatherDog pokes fiend's belly. Darn those nubians. * FatherDog returns. Glory in his... glory. Maus: You're a rare and special person, so you're part of a rare and special family. Is this my welcome to the short bus? Maus: I'm hurt. Don't be hurt. Everyone knows the short bus is where the action is. My ass will steadily grow, until at age 35 one cheek will bud off to become the daughter ass. Then it will grow a body, and I'll have a new sister. Mauses do not reproduce by budding!! How else can you explain my expanding ass? See, I'm just trying to make Alex a better person by giving him less emotional buttons. Soon, I'll have found all of his weak points and mercilessly prodded them until he's patched his armor. Then he'll be a perfect knight, ready to tilt at the windmills of the world unharmed. * parr dresses Dei up like a waffle. I will USE whatever I can to twist you to my will! muahhahha! unless it involves anything illegal, immoral or unethical. So that sort of leaves me powerless. oh well. <{Moogle}> They should put porn on the internet. <{Moogle}> I think it'd be really popular. McDonald's is recalling 3.4 million "Face Hugger" Happy Meals... Choking hazard. Dog: I have a cold. Alex: I'm sorry to hear that. You should run a red-hot poker through your sinuses. That'll suss you out good and proper. Dei: i have the Magic Screen in the living room that talks to me if I offer it sacrifices of my thumb movments <{Moogle}> You really ought to buy into the Technocratic paradigm one of these days. Moogle: We've told you before. Pizza is no good for scrying. idunno. if you order the fresh entrails pizza you can divinate a bit... normally you can divine who's gonna be sick after eating it... * Richard_McCart is a mask of Nyarlarthotep He's the mask Nyarly wears when he wants to cruise the docks. Nyarlathotep does not find Greek Sailors sexy!!! Not the sides of Nyarlathotep YOU know. That's why he keeps Perry hid away in the wilds of Pennsylvania. If he was found out, the other OUter Gods would never let him hear the end of it. <{Moogle}> If you don't have the power of regeneration or invulnerability don't go fucking with things that'll kill you dead. <{Moogle}> Batman. Now there's a clever cat. <{Moogle}> Do you see Batman fucking with The Cyborg or Sinestro? No, you see him beating up the mentally ill. <{Moogle}> The man knows his niche. <{Moogle}> I can't speak for anyone else <{Moogle}> but I'm just a gobshite <{Moogle}> I'll rattle on about any old pish, unless someone stops me. We love you for it, though. It's part of your unique charm. <{Moogle}> Hmph. "Unique charm". <{Moogle}> Subtitle: "dancing monkey to be poked with sticks 'til it does something amusing" <{Moogle}> PUT THE STICKS DOWN if you love someone - and especially if you love them with huge jaws capable of applying 600 pounds of pressure per square inch - let them go... FD...why are you a monster? It's that third arm. * EquuZilla points it out. And here I thought FD was a monster because he's nearly just a crawlspace away from serial murder. ...well... not SERIAL, per se. * FatherDog gives ED a new ass. A SHINY new ass. is it chrome? Boogedy. WAGH! * FatherDog flees screaming into the night. * CutGlass pities the night. * FatherDog sets up an elaborate system of springs and pulleys that shows no discernable purpose. Occasionally it goes "Twang." * parr brands FD a pancake infidel * parr sends FD out with his mark, so that while he is curssed, none can touch him g'wan. Build Enoch. You know you wanna. * FatherDog wanders the earth. Like that Caine guy. Y'know, the one who has burn marks and wanders the earth. David Carradine. Ya ever stare inta the eye o' a bull, parr? There's evil in them eyes, there is. I have indeed stared into the eye of a bull, but it didn't strike me as evil. Huge, mabye, but not evil. I've also stared into many sheep's eye but I don't think that counts as they were not attached to a sheep * parr taps FD's chest with a rubber squeeky mallet. "Yup. Firm and strong! no horrible, rotting pumpkin-like flesh here!" People still seem to assume I'm some sort of repressed sociopath. They assume the same thing with me, except without the "repressed" part. * CutGlass wants more rioting. * CutGlass starts a one man riot. * CutGlass forms a mob. * CutGlass grabs some pitchforks and torches. Ooh! Ooooh! Can we go pillage that castle up on the hill? Dog: Can't we go for one lower down? That's a long walk. Hmmmm... well, there's the weird woman in the shack on the outside of town. Yeah! Get her! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! * CutGlass stalks up to Richard. "Witch?" .... Cut: No, no, Bitch. It's a subtle difference. Dog: Close enough. Buuuuuurn! * CutGlass ignites Richard and stands well back. * Richard_McCart is already flaming, so there is of course, no effect I reign suprime! all others are number two or lower! * parr cheats for glory! "Moogle glides into the room, his soft, white fur glowing in the candlelight. He is 3 feet tall, and bare naked except for a small sword which he leans upon. His eyes are chartruse with purple dots and when he makes eye contact it takes your breath away (appearnce 37) * Elfkin offers FlamesOutTheEars a bucket filled with some of the most mellow Ebola around. <{Moogle}> I always thought that yellow and black hazard stripes looked so tasty. <{Moogle}> Which is why I developed a 250-a-day bee-eating habit. <{Moogle}> I'm just not in control of myself any more. Moogle: for the last time, I desire not your acid tripping, reality bending bean adventure! I prefer hum drum reality and a quart of blood in the fridge! Yes, we're all here. But it must be family dinnertime, 'cause we don't have nothing to say to each other. * little_sister beeps the kitty's nose obsessively. She attacks a take out menu out of defiance. [LS PING] -> *LS* Who are you? *LS* candygram *LS* pizza man *LS* LANShark Need more? Onwards to malkquotes2.txt! Skimoda vewlin twil taslo.