PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICE - In the wake of last week's World Series conclusion, hundreds of white message boards across campus were adorned with celebratory expressions hailing the Arizona Diamondbacks' victory. According to campus-wide reports, phrases like "D'backs RULE!" lit up the hallways of Princeton's residential colleges and upperclassman residences. Tragically, however, these cheerful exclamations were soon marred by the pen strokes of reckless vandals.

Shocked and frightened victims of the now infamous "Dry Marker Grafitti", like Sophomore Darold Weathers of Forbes College, reported the vandalism to an overwhelmed Public Safety office. Weathers told the Orange he was "angry, and not a little frightened" by the attacks. "I mean, to find your 'Schilling Rules' message crossed out and replaced by 'Schilling Fucking Sucks', is… really a traumatic experience," quivered a distraught Weathers.

Public Safety confirmed the reports, estimating the number of Curt Schilling related messages desecrated alone at over 24. Another victim, Mathey College freshman Sean Poblasky, reported that his message "Diamondbacks Rule!" had been altered to read: "Yankees Rule!". Poblasky was not only shocked by the surprise alteration, but impressed by the cunning inversion of his statement. "Like, these vandals were obviously real pros. Who else could have come up with that clever little switcharoo? These guys knew their stuff," said Poblasky.

Public Safety is currently investigating the attacks, but has had difficulties so far identifying suspects. Public Safety director Jerrold Witsil told the Orange, "These acts have obviously been committed by fans of the New York Yankees. But, that makes the investigation all the more difficult. Does anybody actually like those fuckers?"