MCCOSH HEALTH CENTER - The Princeton University community is united today in mourning the tragic death of freshman Dale Simmons of Thermopolis, Wyoming. The young Princetonian was rushed to McCosh health center at approximately 4:18 pm yesterday after receiving what witnesses are calling a "big-ass lighting shot to the head."

Investigators are now piecing together the details surrounding Simmons's bizzare death. Public Safety director Jerrold Witsil told The Daily Orange that, at the moment, all signs point to divine intervention. "The 10-foot wide patch of scorched pavement outside the gate means that we cannot rule out the possibility of a lighting strike," said a somber Witsil.

Although the circumstances surrounding Simmons's death remain sketchy at best, The Daily Orange's team of analysts have put together a tentative timeline of the tragedy. At about 4:15 pm, Dale Simmons, en route to the Princeton Starbucks cafe, took a shortcut into town through the University's FitzRandolph Gate. Simmons, who was obviously unaware of the longstanding superstition against exiting through the gate, ambled his way onto Nassau Street. Only moments after passing through the fabled gate, the clouds above Mercer County opened up, and a devastating lighting bolt was hurled at Simmons in punishment for breaking the unwritten law.

Witness Lauren Wormhood, 21, was at the intersection of Witherspoon and Nassau when the incident took place. "I was just standing there, waiting for the lights to change when all of a sudden I see this, this idiot, walk through the gate! Going OUT!" said the hysterical and rambling senior. "What kind of a moron walks out through that gate? It serves him right."

Many Princeton students expressed their condolences for the Simmons family. When interviewed about the incident, Marty Schulber '03 said he felt "like, really bad" for Dale's family and friends, adding: "how stupid can you be? Really."

The gate-related death is the latest in a historic string of accidents at the site. The first recorded death at the FitzRandolph Gate occured in 1876, when upperclassman Aldrich Cummings was trampled by a four horse buggy after exiting campus through the gate. Then, in 1917, sophomore David Q. Ambrose used the exit and suffered from spontaneous combustion. These and numerous other instances of deadly bad luck gave rise to superstition about the gate.

Simmons, who historians claim is the 37th victim of "The Gate", may not have been aware of its bloody past. His roommate, however, told The Daily Orange that he was "pretty sure" that Simmons knew about the popular superstition and just "poo-pooed" it.

President Tilghman lamented Simmons death in an official University statement, saying: "Well, we told you so. Every year, you freshmen think its all a bunch of silly voodoo. It's all fun and games until someone gets incinerated."