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THE DAILY ORANGE CHRISTMAS
HALF-ISSUE... |
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| Saturday, December 25, 2001 |
Israel celebrates Hanukkah by gunning down Palestinian children
NAACP adds another 'A' to the word "Kwanzaaa" - Wazzup guys hired for promotional campaign
Christmas Market Watch
| Sales of "Freddy Firefighter" dolls this Xmas | 40% |  |
| Sales of "al Qaeda Quincy" Action Figure | 98% |
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Santa forgets to visit starving
Rwandan child
Young Gahiji Nyillingondo of Rwanda, age 6, was shocked to discover that Santa Claus had somehow passed over his shack this Christmas. The upset and confused Gahiji had awaited Christmas day eagerly, and had even prepared his one room hut for the fabled elf's arrival, leaving out precious milk and dirt cookies. "All I wanted for Christmas was food, water and security from roving bandits," cried the distraught six year old. "Santa must not have recieved my letter." Nyillingondo's parents had tried to gently prepare him for a presentless holiday season by reminding him that his armless father had not been able to find work since being mutilated. Still, to his parents' dismay, Gahiji held out hope for Santa. According to UN statistics, the United States enjoyed the world's highest Santa-visit rating: Santa Claus visited 97.42% of American homes this Christmas. Rwanda ranked near the bottom of Santa's list this year with a total of only six sleigh stops nationwide. No Princeton University students were available for comment by press time - apparently all were driving their new Lexuses. |
World
Three dead, 12 injured as Xmas
shopper
‘Hurricane Marge’ ravages East Coast malls
Business
BMG Cancels Christmas record deal with Osama Bin Laden
Special Feature!
