Sports Extra: Teams Announced for Corporate Bowl 2002

3COM PNC FLEET MOLSON UNITED CINERGY STADIUM -- In a press conference today, brought to you by Coors Light - which has great taste despite being less filling - the NCAA Football CEO and Director of Bowl Relations Michael Eisner announced that the Mitsubishi Miami Hurricanes will battle the Nissan Nebraska Cornhuskers in the FedEx Tostitos Nokia Microsoft buy.com Corporate Bowl, brought to you by Capital One.

The game, which sees the number one and two teams in the nation fight for supremacy, will determine who walks away with the coveted Sears, Roebuck, and Company National Championship Trophy.

Joe Isuzu, the NFL.com head coach of the Nissan Nebraska Cornhuskers, said, "I'm pleased to find out that our team will be playing in the FedEx Tostitos Nokia Microsoft buy.com Corporate Bowl, brought to you by Capital One. My team is built Ford tough, and the defense is like a rock. My comments are sponsored in part by Acura."

In the same press conference, Eisner also announced the details of the slated McDonalds Chrysler WalMart Compaq half-time entertainment, co-sponsored by Morgan Stanley Dean Witter and Burger King. The little girl from the Pepsi commercials, accompanied by Faith Hill, Britney Spears, and Bob Dole will sing a stirring rendition of "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke," while re-enacting the Mean Joe Green Coca-Cola commercial. 7up, the uncola, was named the official cola sponsor of the half-time show, according to Eisner. Also, after an extensive bidding war, Ragu beat out Prego to secure its position as the official Spaghetti Sauce provider for the half-time show.

The game's opening kickoff - brought to you by Raytheon Inc.- is scheduled for 7:00 pm, right after the Taco Bell dog flips the United States Mint Coin Toss. The game's first commercial break will be sponsored by Budweiser and will feature a new 30-second Sam Adams advertisement brought to you by Killian's Red. Eisner was also excited to announce that the field will be covered with a blank white background while the national anthem is sung by a GAP Kids rock band.

During the Enron-sponsored fourth quarter, when ratings are expected to be highest, the Goodyear Blimp will take on the Metlife and Monster.com blimps in a three-way brawl-for-all Zeppelin Royal Rumble above the stadium. Ted Turner, NCAA.com's Director of Public Relations, told reporters that this spectacle would be followed by the IBM Phillip Morris Kraft Foods $1,000,000 Punt-Pass-Kick event.

In other news, the "Who Cares?" Bowl, which pits Princeton against Creighton for no apparent reason, still has not attracted a sponsor.