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Pauper Supports Battle for Gabe Rights These days our campus is littered with posters and flyers supporting or protesting against so many issues that even the most socially conscious student can get lost. But where is Princeton’s support for the Gabe Rights Movement? Right now there are only five openly Gabe students on campus. For too long, the Pauper has been loud on humor, but silent on social problems. But this issue really speaks to us, especially with the coming-out of our lifestyle editor. The Pauper’s Lifestyle Editor Gabriel Doyle recently revealed in a tearful press conference that he was indeed “Gabe.” Choking back tears behind the microphone, our Gabriel Doyle told reporters and friends that he “was just born Gabe”. The issue has been overlooked on the Princeton campus, where traditionalists characterize the Gabe lifestyle as a “severe moral failing”. “I’m all right with people being Gabe,” said Agape vice-bishop Roy Robertson ’04, “but I don’t think they should do that sort of thing in public.” Sadly, this seems to be the prevailing view about being Gabe at Princeton. This hypocritical position is nothing short of Gabeophobic. Gabes don’t choose to be Gabe, they just are. T. Chandler Hardwick III, a Princeton Tory staff member who asked to remain anonymous, told the Pauper that being Gabe was “unnatural” and that Gabes lead “lifestyles in depravity”. This stance was mirrored by local evangelist Brother Stephen, who recently exhorted that “a Gabe Nation leads to damnation.” This sort of bigotry must not be tolerated at Princeton. We cannot tolerate Gabeophobia any longer on this campus. That’s why we are asking you to support your Gabe friends by wearing jeans this Saturday, October 12th as part of Gabe Awareness Week. If you would like to do more, join the Lots of Gabes are Being Tormented Alliance (LGBTA). Or you could just read the Pauper. Thank you. -The staff of the Princeton Pauper
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