"I just couldn't vote for Sonya after that whole Scullygate fiasco," admitted Jenny Fiskins '04. "I mean, did she really think she could get away with all that? Trying to bully Josh Anderson into quitting the race, then tampering with the results when he beats her fair and square! Jeez."

This wave of anti-corruption revulsion seemed to be the main reason for Mirbagheri's downfall. Most students reportedly could not even bring themselves to look at the Vice President's name on the ballot. "I got really angry when I saw her name on [the ballot]" said Dan Gregerson '06. "I can't believe she was allowed to even to remain in the election after Scullygate blew up the way it did. But I guess that's just politics: corruption, corruption, corruption."

The Princeton Pauper would like to extend its congratulations to Pettus Randall, the president-elect. We totally knew he was going to win all along. We just forgot to tell you.

Run-offs come to an end - will Mirbagheri steal the election?
December 12, 2002

At the stroke of midnight on this dark, drizzly night, the run-off presidential and vice-presidential elections came to a close. All eyes were on the presidential election, which has been tainted with corruption charges. Will Sonya Mirbagheri pay the political price for her role in Scullygate? How did voters respond to the allegations against her? These questions will be be answered in due time, but there are more uncertainties that will only be resolved by tough investigative journalism: how deep does the corruption go in the USG? What did president Langsam have to do with the Scully break-in and the ensuing cover-up operation? Just how much vote-tampering took place after the first round, and who was responsible? These issues will be resolved, and the Pauper will be the only publication with the answers. Our sister publication, The Daily Princetonian, is evidently too scared to tackle the USG. Check back soon for more Scullygate coverage.

"Scullygate" scandal continues
December 10, 2002

The Princeton Pauper's investigative team has uncovered more disturbing information concerning the Sunday-night Scully break-in that implicated Sonya Mirbagheri and Nina Langsam in a slew of corrupt activity. After breaking the story yesterday, the Pauper continued to look for answers. Here is what we know so far:

On Sunday night, four men broke into presidential candidate Josh Anderson's Scully Hall dorm, ransacking his room and stealing documents. According to our source inside the USG, known only as "Strep Throat", the burglars were hired by rival candidate Sonya Mirbagheri.

The break-in was apparently an attempt to intimidate Anderson into retiring from the presidential race. Anderson, as we all know, did not quit the race.

"Strep Throat" has informed the Pauper that Anderson, not Mirbagheri, was the real #1 vote-getter in this weekend's round of voting. Mirbagheri, the current Vice-President of the USG, had access to these results. Knowing that she had finished behind Anderson and Pettus Randall in the first round and that she was thus ineligible for a run-off, Mirbagheri strong-armed other USG members, most notably elections manager Michael Kimberly '03, into tampering with the results. According to the election results published today in The Daily Princetonian, Mirbagheri received the most votes in the first round. These numbers are bogus.

The break-in and the vote tampering have been covered-up by the USG's Suppression of Truth Task Force. Most disturbing of all, the cover-up was authorized by USG President Nina Langsam.

Both Mirgbagheri and Langsam have refused all wrongdoing, and the run-off election (which is almost certainly rigged as well) is scheduled to begin tonight at midnight. The Daily Princetonian has failed to run any stories on the Scully break-in or the alledged vote-tampering. Stay tuned to the Pauper's coverage of Scullygate, because no other publication has the integrity, or the guts, to go up against corruption.

Other News

Mirbagheri's Agents caught breaking into Anderson's HQ
December 9, 2002
The Pauper interviews candidate Octavio Carrasco - The Man behind the Vision
December 5, 2002
Another debate, another debacle
December 5, 2002
All-candidate presidential and vice-presidential debate degrades into name-calling and mudslinging
December 4, 2002
"Karim from the Wa" pulls out of Academics Chair race
December 4, 2002

Polls Close!  Polls Close!  Polls Close!
December 9, 2002

Did you cast your votes?  You best have, because the polls have officially closed.  Now all that remains is to sit back and wait for the remaining precincts to report in their numbers.  And of course, to count up those pesky absentee ballots.  Listen closely and you can almost hear the tense breaths being drawn by the candidates as they wait to find out who will be thrown to the dogs and who will get another notch in their resume.

Our final predictions on the presidential vote prior to the close of the polls can be found here.  We'll bring you more post-election coverage as soon as we get the numbers in.  And, by the way, if anyone out there is in need of a couple of political analysts, well, we've got a few who're pretty much out of a job in the next few days.

As the votes trickle in, our experts are calling the most important of the USG elections, building by building! Want to know how your favorite candidate is doing or how your residence is voting? Well then don't listen to us. But we're the closest thing you've got to the truth, because nobody else has the balls to make the calls. Check out our forecasts section for the latest presidential campaign predictions.

The Pauper interviews Octavio Carrasco!
December 5, 2002

Thursday night, on the Campus club patio, the Pauper was lucky enough to have a discussion with the one and only "Tavio". To cover the story no other publication will even go near, we decided we needed to get to know the man behind the vision that has captivated so many Princeton students with his words. What we discovered was a true gentleman, a man loved by his peers and feared by his enemies for one reason: he's the shit. It didn't take long to discover that there's more to Octavio than charisma, flair and verve. There's also integrity, honesty, and compassion.

Barbara Walters, eat your heart out - it's the Octavio Carrasco interview!

Another debate, another debacle
December 5, 2002

The Organization of Women Leaders (OWL) sponsored a debate this evening between the five USG presidential hopefuls. Although things started off well enough, this debate, like the first, spiraled out of control into an an unqualified disaster. 

Punches were thrown. Things were said that should be unprintable. But they're not, so we'll print them here! More...

USG Panel on "How lame the USG is" delivers 35-page report
December 5, 2002

A USG-commissioned panel of students, professors and alumni has released a lengthy and detailed report on the reasons for the USG's chronic uncoolness. The panel attributes its success to the overwhelming student response to its questions. Panel member Dan Rathergood '04 said "the student body had no difficulty describing how lame [the USG] is. Most ran out of room on their response sheets." In addition to sending out questionnaires, the committee interviewed over 100 students during their investigation. "A strong sentiment of indifference and apathy towards their student government was apparent among almost all those surveyed and interviewed," states the report. "However, most students did care enough about the USG to mention that it hadn't done anything for them lately."

The report ascribes the USG's current lameness on three major factors. From the report:

From the report:

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1. The Undergraduate Student Government has never, in its entire history, organized a wet t-shirt contest on the lawn in front of Nassau Hall.
   
2. The USG is unable to effect change so that the school's jellybean-related needs are met. The USG has yet to pressure Dining Services into putting out free jellybeans in the Frist food mall and the residential college dining halls.
   
3. The USG has not created a desperately needed panel on pets issues. That one cat that lives in Spelman totally needs to be represented in our government.
   

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The USG has responded to the report by creating another committee.