Letters: April 16, 1997


Eating Disorders
Regarding your March 5 article on eating disorders: I began to binge and purge while a sophomore at Princeton, and continued for over 10 years. I knew other women in my class who were also bulimic, although I never talked to any of them about it; I was terribly ashamed, and determined that no one would find out, and they probably felt the same.
Of course, my roommates did find out, and I still remember two things they said when they finally confronted me. One said, "I thought you were too sensible to ever do anything like that," and another said, "I can't believe you let us criticize our classmates with eating disorders without saying anything." I remember these statements because I wholeheartedly agreed with them. I had thought of myself as sensible and fair-minded, not to mention honest, so it was wrenching to realize that part of my bulimia involved lying, stealing food, and keeping silent when I should have spoken up to defend, or at least sympathize with, others in a similar condition.
Although I don't feel that my college years were totally ruined, I do feel, like the article's pseudonymous "Deborah," that I missed activities, and more importantly, slighted friendships, that would have enriched my Princeton experience. Ironically, this is probably what bulimia did "for" me: since I was obsessed with what to eat, how to hide my actions, and where and when to vomit, I lacked the time or energy to really grapple with the more complicated and difficult questions that come up (no pun intended) during college years, such as, Am I choosing the right major? The right career? The right relationships? I was throwing up instead of growing up.
I naively thought that I would just leave the bulimia behind when I graduated, but instead it became the most constant part of my life, following me through four years of veterinary school and three or four years of veterinary practice. I finally stopped binging and purging through a combination of individual therapy, group therapy, and medication, over a period of about two years (this was three years ago). I still feel awed and grateful that I managed to stop; I couldn't exactly see myself as a sixty-year-old bulimic, and yet I had tried for years to break the cycle, without success.
I picture a typical alumnus from the Class of 1960 or 1970 shaking his head, unable to identify with this disease of neurotic, overprivileged young women. The odd thing is that often I can't identify with it, either. Bulimia always did seem foreign and bizarre to me, like a bad dream in which I had somehow gotten caught up. And yet when I was in its throes, going home from my job at lunch time to binge and purge, then doing it again in the evening, the "real world" of eating normally seemed equally dreamlike. I always knew that gorging myself and then inducing vomiting was disgusting and harmful-but then I never did intend for it to turn into an addiction. So if and when any Princetonian knows someone, a daughter or sister, a son or a friend, who suffers from an eating disorder, I urge him or her to try to understand; it is a truly harrowing and humbling experience.
Angela Hahn '85
Cotuit, Mass.

Thank you for the wonderful article on eating disorders. I began eating compulsively when I was seven years old and developed bulimia in high school. At Princeton I had the help of Overeaters Anonymous, a fellowship that brought me much relief from my disorder. I went to its meetings throughout my Princeton years, which were mostly free of binging and purging.
Thanks to God and OA, I have been able to abstain one day at a time from certain foods (sugar and white flour especially) and activities that tend to lead me into eating compulsively. My life has never been more full. I have reached my goal weight and have maintained it for three years. My mind is clear to focus on my work, family, and helping other people in the program. I witness miracles at every meeting as I see physical, emotional, and spiritual transformations of men and women of all ages.
Anonymous '92


Finally, an article in PAW that I really wanted to read! Eating disorders seemed pretty widespread at Princeton when I was there; as the author, Kathryn Greenwood, points out, this tends to be true of any place that attracts perfectionists and overachievers. I worked in the dining hall and well remember the many women who would come through the cafeteria lines and never get any food other than vegetables. One of my freshman roommates, in fact, was anorexic.
I come from a family that attaches tremendous importance to physical attractiveness and considers being overweight as unspeakable. I was bulimic when I came to Princeton (although I looked O.K., at least for my first semester), and it only got worse when I saw how many attractive, thin, stylishly dressed women were on campus. Most men who were interested in me seemed only to want an attractive date for club parties-they weren't interested in having a relationship at all. Their superficiality made me angry, and withdrawing from the social scene made me even more inclined to overeat.
I finally gave up on purging (it seemed hopeless as well as dangerous), gained about 25 pounds my freshman year, and was absolutely miserable. Fortunately, I started seeing someone regularly at the Counseling Center, and she was a tremendous help; I continued with counseling for several years after I graduated. Now 35, I realized long ago that my body can never fit the fashionable ideal, and that trying to achieve that is a huge waste of time and energy. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly, and my weight has been stable for about 10 years-and I haven't purged since I was 23. I am not bikini material, but I am strong, fit, attractive, and healthy, and I don't think anyone would say I need to lose weight.
I still get angry at my mother when she dismisses as "unattractive" women who are tremendously successful in many areas of their lives but who just didn't happen to be born pretty or thin. I hope other parents will stop hammering their daughters with the message that it doesn't really matter who you are or what you achieve in life-if you're not good-looking, you will never amount to anything.
Anonymous '84

One of the characteristics of PAW that distinguishes it from similar alumni publications is its substance-oriented accounts of faculty interests and research. In the March 5 issue this sort of content was displaced by a long article on eating disorders. Last June, you published an issue in which an article on students' religious concerns similarly supplanted the usual piece, or pieces, on faculty scholarship. These exchanges, in my view, detract from the quality of the publication.
Thomas E. Gift '68
Honeoye Fall, N.Y.

Student Photos
The caption to the February 19 From the Archives photograph, which showed several members of the Class of 1937 who worked on The Daily Princetonian, noted that "none pursued a career in journalism." I laughed aloud at the delicious irony of this gratuitous and questionably relevant comment, since one of those pictured was Stan Medina '37. Stan roomed for eight years with my father, Thad Hutcheson '37, at both the Hill School and Princeton. For 60 virtually uninterrupted years since this distinguished class moved on to serve our nation and the world, Stan has chronicled its achievements, failures, triumphs, tragedies, joys, and sorrows in the pages of PAW and The Hill School Bulletin. Stan has also authored a majority of his class memorials, including a particularly moving and insightful one 10 years ago that captured the essence of his dear friend, my dad.
I should think that appointment to the editorial staff of The Prince might prepare a student for many of life's pursuits beyond reporting for The New York Times. Wouldn't we think it strange if a photograph of a varsity basketball team were accompanied by a caption indicating that none of its players had pursued a career in the NBA? These are extracurricular activities, not farm teams for later professional life. Fortunately, this is one of the few things as true about the Princeton of today as the one of 60 years ago. While reporting may not be the means by which he earned his livelihood, Stan Medina has always been very much a journalist.
Houghton B. Hutcheson '68
Bellaire, Tex.

Not present in the photograph was the Prince editor-in-chief, Penn Kimball '37, who did go on to a distinguished career in journalism and who taught the subject for many years at Columbia University.
Benjamin O'Sullivan '37
Mamaroneck, N.Y.

Regarding the picture accompanying your March 5 Notebook item on the University Archives photo collection, the unidentified student ironing a shirt in Holder Hall is me. I have no recollection of the picture being taken and only vague memories of ironing at Princeton. The photo was taken sometime during the 1963-64 school year.
Thomas Hannah '65
Glenview, Ill.

Prayer Breakfast
Prayer for Princeton is sponsoring the first annual Alumni Prayer Breakfast during Reunions. All alumni are invited to the event, which will take place at 7:30 a.m. Friday, May 30, at the Nassau Christian Center, at the corner of Nassau and Chambers streets. This year's breakfast will reaffirm Princeton's Judeo-Christian heritage, introduce the current campus ministers and support them through prayer and encouragement, and reintroduce a hymn written by Samuel Davies, Princeton's fourth president (1759-1761).
Bill Grady '51
Yorba Linda, Calif.


paw@princeton.edu