Exclusives: Raising Kate
PAW web exclusive column by Kate Swearengen '04 (email@example.com)
24 , 2001:
Day to Remember, or not
by Kate Swearengen '04
Thursday, December 14
7:23 A.M. Awakened by
the unpleasant sound of claws on metal. Horrified to see the white
underbelly of a squirrel pressed against my window screen. Displaced
large, ugly rodent with a sharp kick to the screen. Wondered at
the inefficacy of Barnabas, the life-sized fake owl I had wired
to the branch outside my window in order to ward off squirrels.
Decided that, while his yellow eyes and feathered tufts were indeed
lifelike, Barnabas's realism was hampered by the fact that he never
moved. Regretted that the acquisition of a real owl would violate
housing regulations. Resolved to look into the purchase of a pellet
7:43 A.M. Breakfast -
pried tricky aluminum foil seal off yogurt container. Finished box
of vanilla wafers. Thumbed through the Prince. Read that
free Princeton basketball T-shirts would be offered to students
who had attended the Princeton/Xavier game two nights before. Moment
of self-castigation upon the realization that this marked my third
missed opportunity to garner a free Princeton T-shirt. Consoled
by the thought that the first and second opportunities would have
required attendance at the Frist student center dedication and a
protracted conversation with a sketchy-looking junior at Quad, respectively.
8:30 A.M. Geology exam-
responded to tricky essay question on the Channeled Scablands. Answered
that they were a series of canyons carved out by catastrophic flooding
and not, as I had been tempted to write, a venereal disease symptom.
12:52 P.M. Checked e-mail:
Read letter from the dean of Butler College saying that she would
be "interested in knowing" if we were taking any classes
this semester in which the professors had already given the final
exam or had collected term papers. Decided that this request, far
from being the innocuous query that it seemed, was really a thinly
veiled attempt to find those professors who didn't want to spend
their break grading tests and make them change their policies. Bitterly
resented that my winter break would be spent studying for exams
and writing term papers. Refused the invitation to nark on my professors.
5:02 P.M. Last crew practice
until reading period: Listened to coach's admonitions to maintain
good nutritional habits during the holidays. Thought of foil-covered
chocolate coins I had consumed prior to practice. Struggled through
four 1500-meter erg workouts. Resolved to develop exceptional rowing
abilities so as to impress the godlike rowers on the U.S. men's
national team who practice in the Princeton boathouse. Determination
waned by the second 1500-meter piece.
7:38 P.M. Princeton/Rutgers
basketball game. Impatiently waited for Perri, who had attended
the Princeton/Xavier game, to find her voucher for the free Princeton
basketball T-shirt. Consequently missed tip-off. Arrived at Jadwin
to find that the number of basketball T-shirts printed exceeded
the number of students who had attended the Princeton/Xavier basketball
game, and that the basketball T-shirts were being given away to
anyone with a student ID. Became the proud owner of an extra-extra
large orange T-shirt with a cryptic "P-100" printed on
the front and "Wegman's" printed on the back.
7-42 P.M. Found seats
next to the band. Marveled at the respiratory capacity of a skinny
clarinet player, who made a seamless transition from a vitriolic
"One, two, three, kill the referee!' to the Princeton favorite,
"Eye of the Tiger." Cheered at successful three-point
attempt. Watched as the crowd, buoyed up Princeton's lead, chanted
"Sit down - you suck!" at the Rutgers contingent. Watched
as the crowd, undismayed by Princeton's loss in the final two minutes,
planned their evening activities on the Street.
9:27 P.M. Scampered back
to sordid dorm room. Assembled killer outfit for night on the Street.
Fished plaid skirt out of the dirty clothes. Pulled blue-jean jacket,
still reeking of cigarette smoke from a punk rock concert two months
ago, out of the closet. Went from Chia Pet drab to Muppet glam with
11:04 P.M. Walked to
Cloister with Laura, where rumor of a "monster crew party"
was confirmed by the doorman. Entered the club to find that the
crowd consisted of two guys straggling with a CD player and a girl
in a sequined tube top dancing spasmodically.
Reunited with Sara and
Perri on the way out the door. Searched the Street fruitlessly for
other rowers. Returned to dorm to study for French quiz. Made New
Year's resolution to devote second semester to parties and rock