Media

Our announcer for the year is Sam Leachman '09

9/20/2008 -- The Citadel

Don't ask, don't tell, it's the Princeton University Band!

[Band marches on to the field playing "Princeton Forward March"]

Upon receiving word that The Citadel would permit us to perform a halftime show, the band was shocked by your extraordinary showing of "Southern Hospitality". We were baffled by your decision to allow us on campus for a number of reasons. Here are a few of the "rave reviews" we've received for our irreverent antics:

Of course, a couple of comments from Universities like Harvard and Cornell can't be taken seriously. However, there are some things we've done during our time in Charleston that we're sure you just won't tolerate:

[Band forms Double-Double Rotating P, plays "Going Back to Nassau Hall"]

The recent selection of Sarah Palin and Joe Biden as Vice Presidential Candidates presents us with what seems like the two dullest candidates possible. However, the Band did some research, and we discovered some unsettling facts about the candidates. Here are some things you may not know about Joe Biden:

Sarah Palin is not free of eccentricities, either. For example,

Forming an oil drilling station, the band plays "Gimme Some Lovin'"

Forming an amniotic ice chipper, the Band plays "Freeze Frame"

[Band forms ice chipper, plays Freeze Frame]

While wandering through your campus today, we couldn't help but notice a few glaring differences between our schools. For example,

Saluting Boos I, II, and IV (but not III -- he was a bad dog), the band plays "241."

[Band forms V on the field, plays "241"]

Run away Band, it's General Sherman, and he's headed out to sea!

Run away band, the crowd didn't think this show was funny!

9/27/2008 -- Lehigh

Crashing onto the field like Lehman Brothers stock, it's the Princeton University Band!

[Band marches on to the field playing "Princeton Forward March"]

With the economy plummeting towards rock bottom, the Princeton student's way of life is threatened with extinction. Of course, a few of our habits can be changed to alleviate this problem. Some things that Princeton students are doing to save money are:

Forming economic collapse, the Band salutes the reallocation of wealth and plays "Robin Hood."

Band forms economic collapse, plays "Robin Hood"]

After two weeks of classes, the Princeton Freshman is expected to have found his or her niche already. If you're a freshman and not interested in Varsity sports or a capella groups, you may want to try Princeton's other, less intensive Club Sports, such as:

Remember, Fire Safety lasts a lifetime. Of course, Fire UN-safety lasts a lifetime as well, just a shorter, more painful one.

Forming a sheet to hide your fire violation under, the Band plays "Great Balls of Fire."

[Band forms a sheet, plays "Great Balls of Fire"]

Run away, Band, it's Dean Malkiel and she wants to play Quintile Roulette!

10/18/2008 -- Brown

Hi, Mom!! It's the Princeton University Band!! With special guest stars, the Tree Street Twirlers!!

[Band marches onto the field, playing Princeton Forward March]

Recently, President Shirley Tilghman became a founding trustee of the King Abdullah University of Science and Technology in Saudi Arabia. While there, President Tilghman developed some policies that she is now planning to enact on Princeton's campus. For example:

Saluting the new funding plan, the Band forms a magic lamp and plays "Friend Like Me."

[Band forms Magic Lamp, plays "Friend Like Me"]

One night, while the band was searching for a special midnight rendezvous, we stumbled across a personal ad taken out by an entity described only as "Brown University". Some of the more interesting bits of information in the personal were:

Forming a telephone, the band reminds Brown that if no one answers your ad, you can always "Call Me."

Band forms telephone, plays "Call Me."

Run away, Band! The Brown Band wants a second date!

10/25/2008 -- Hahvahd

First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest, it's the Princeton University Band!!

Band marches on playing Princeton Forward March]

A few months ago, US News and World Report issued another installment of their College Rankings. At first, we thought that Harvard bought every copy of US News and World Report and whited out the 2 next to their name. Of course, when we looked at Harvard's statistical report, we quickly found the reason why they were ranked #1 this year: they cheated in a number of ways. For example, they:

Be careful with that new mascot of yours, Hahvahd, if you're not careful, they might get out. If that happens, they'll certainly...

[Band plays "Also Sprach Zarathustra"]

Flashers: MAGIC RED ZEBRA

Anagrams to: RAZE CAMBRIDGE

Flips to reveal: OLD NASSAU IS #1

Run away, Band! The Homecoming Queen is coming!

11/07/2008 -- Penn

Holding out for an appointment to the office of Secretary of Defense, it's the Princeton University Band!

[Band marches out playing Princeton Forward]

With the election decided on Tuesday and Barack Obama emerging as the winner, we've finally seen the end of a long, hard road to the presidency. However, the campaign for 2012 is looking like it will be even more long-winded, as many candidates have already began to face controversy in their bid for their party's nomination. For example:

And of course, Sarah Palin will be running again, this time for the top spot. Forming a magazine, the Band suggests a new type of campaign ad and plays "Centerfold".

[Band forms magazine, plays "Centerfold"]

Recently, the Philadelphia Phillies have won the World Series, and Philadelphia has erupted in celebration. Envious of the Philadelphia parade, other cities across the world have started having parades of their own to boost morale and productivity. For example, parades are being thrown to celebrate momentous events such as:

However, while the parades of the other cities are entirely joyful, the parade in Philadelphia is held with heavy hearts, as residents know that the University of Pennsylvania still plagues them. Forming the continued existence of UPenn, the Band plays "Darn it"

[Band forms Penn crest, plays "Dammit"]

Will the owner of the orange plaid van please report to the parking lot? Your van is being towed.

11/15/2008 -- Yale

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over. It's the PUB!!

[Band marches on playing Princeton Forward March]

With less than 2 months left in George Bush's final term, he's begun to look toward life after the oval office. His job hunt is on, and he's got his eye on becoming a professor at Yale. Classes he's offered to teach include:

Saluting President Bush's forays into the world of education, the band turns back the clock and plays "Back to the Future"

[Band forms clock, plays "Back to the Future"]

So recently, Peru has hinted at suing Yale for stealing ancient Incan artifacts. However, Yale's dastardly thievery does not end there. They've been responsible for the theft of some other things, though. For example:

Forming a pair of kidneys, the Band looks at all of Yale's purloined property and says: "I Want You Back"

[Band forms kidneys, plays "I Want You Back"]

While walking around your campus today, we found among the piles of refuse a travel brochure for New Haven. Our announcer will now read this brochure. However, we've just injected him with a truth serum. Stand back and witness the hilarious results.

Looking for a great vacation? Come to beautiful... uh, pretty nice... uh, a'ight New Haven! Located in the Northeastern US, New Haven has more sunny days than South Florida... ummm... cleaner air than L.A.? More hobos per square mile than Boston! New Haven is also home to a top-tier University... I mean... a good bargain college... Uhhh... A great community college! New haven has a vibrant downtown area with several Zagat-rated restaurants... I mean... a knock-off Applebee's... A bloated whale carcass in the center of town!

Showcasing New Haven't local hotspot, the Band forms a flaming barrel of trash and says "That's the Impression That I Get"

[Band forms flaming trash can, plays "Impression that I Get"]

Run away, Band, while you still have your valuables.