Media

Our announcer for the year was Kevin Smith '07

9/17/2005 -- Lafayette

The band did not perform at Lafayette this year, due to certain... misunderstandings with the Lafayette administration.

9/24/2005 -- San Diego

Being led onto the field by some guy we found passed out in a muddy ditch, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

We'd like the visitors from the University of San Diego to know what measures Princeton has taken to keep the campus healthy. Please use the new hand-sanitizer after finishing with the computers. After visiting the gym, be sure to wipe down the equipment. ALL the equipment. Our University Health Services will provide you with free condoms, but be sure to check that they aren't expired... or used. Remember, be smart, and you stay classy, San Diego. Because even though you are burning for some action tonight, you don't want to wake up with that same feeling in the morning. Forming a little "s" and hoping that San Diego won't provide the TDs, the Band plays "Great Balls of Fire".

(Great Balls of Fire)

And now, Partyin' in Pyne, Freakin' in Frist
Dancin' in Dod, Jammin' in Joline
Hoppin' in Holder, Bumpin' in Blair
Grindin' in Guyot, Hangin' in Henry
Clappin' in Cuyler, Cuylerin' in Clapp
Jumpin' in Jadwin, Blastin' in Bowen
Rockin' in Robertson, Passed out in TI
Livin' La Vida Laughlin, Getting' down in Green
Mackin' in McCosh, Kickin' it in Campbell
And Staggering into the Stadium, it's the Double-Double Rotating P!

(Going Back)

Please rise for the playing of the national anthem.

10/1/2005 -- Columbia

Holla!!! At the Princeton University Band!

(Play Cannon)

We tried to make a joke about Columbia, but you guys are just so...ugh...banal, mundane, uninteresting, that we came up with nothing. So here are several things we think are funny, and may or may not be tangentially related to your LAME-iversity:

Saluting Columbia's problems by forming a small "c", the Band plays "Roar, Lion Roar".

(Play Roar, Lion Roar)

And now:
Obeying your thirst
Doing the Dew
Making 7-UP YOURS
Being you, doing what you do
Giving you wings
Made from the best stuff on Earth
Got Milk?
Tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper
Living the High Life
Tapping the Rockies
100% taste, 0% calories
Straight from the grove
Good to the last drop
We're juice guys
Is it in you?
It's the Double-Double-Rotating P!

10/8/2005 -- Colgate

Note: It had been raining torrentially for the past couple of days, and it continued into the next week.

Hydroplaning onto the field, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

Colgate's administration is lame. Really lame. SUPER-DUPER EXTRA CRAZY LAME! Here are some of the things they've done to try and be cool enough to hang out with the cooler university administrations.

Forming a little "c" for OH MY GOD SO MUCH RAIN WTF?!, the band plays Colgate's fight song.

And now:
Slipping
Sliding
Splashing
Swimming
Waterskiing
Wakeboarding
Jetskiing
Canoeing
Kayaking
NOT rowing
Riverdancing
Sailing
Fishing
Dolphin-Riding
Surfing
Sculling
Diving
Snorkeling
Submarining
Doggy-paddling
Drowning
Floating
Sinking
and Walking on Water, it's the Double Double Rotating P!

(Going Back)

(Anthem)

10/15/2005 -- Brown

Note: See note above

"This just in... IT'S STILL RAINING!!!!"

(Cannon)

So we stumbled upon this letter from a Brown freshman to his parents, and we were shocked at the tone of distress. Hear it for yourselves:

"Hello mother, hello dad,
I'm here at Brown, and life is BAD.
I have been cursed with awful roomies,
And since I'm a frosh, no girls will do me.
I sadly found it was no joke,
When my RA asked if I wanted to toke.
The final scourge to hit this land
Came in last night -- it's the Princeton Band!
Rescue me quick, this is getting dire:
They tried to set their conductor on fire!
There's some good out of this sordid tale
At least I didn't go to Yale.
All my love from this college town,
Please let me come home...
God hates Brown.

Forming a little "b" for "below sea level", the band plays the Brown Cheering Song.

(Brown Cheering Song)

And now....

More qualified than...

It's the Double-Double Rotating P!!!

(Going Back)

Run away band... Bush is playing with his weather machine again!

10/22/2005 -- Hahvahd

Give me liberty or give me Head... of the Charles, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

Sure the Big Dig seemed like a good idea, what with easier commuting and all. But it has unearthed a whole lot of new problems.

Forming a little 'h' for Boston's gate to Hell, the Band plays Harvardiana

And Now:
Rowing
Stroking
Paddling
Driving
Thrusting
Pulling
Breaking the Water
Gliding
Easing
Wearing spandex
Propelling
Sweating
Grunting
Giving it your all
Finishing strong
It's the Double-Double Rotating P!

(Going Back)

Run away Band! The Sox are in the World Series again!

10/29/2005 -- Cornell

Fleeing from the Harvard Police, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

Wow, the Cornell Band sure does have a lot of members. How did they trick so many people into joining?

Forming a little 'c' for Cornell's cool kids, the Band plays "High Above Cayuga's Waters"

(Cornell's Alma Mater)

And now...
Biting our thumbs at you
Lending our ears
Our kingdom for a horse!
Being little but fierce
Denying thy father
Being or not being
Wishing not one man more
Getting the to a nunnery
Taking some occasion without giving
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing
Once more into the breach dear friends!
It's the Double-Double Rotating P!

(Going Back)

(Anthem)

11/5/2005 -- Penn

Convulsing onto the field, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

It turns out Penn was renting its land from the Pennsylvania government, and after their humiliating loss to Brown, the government isn't renewing the lease. We thought we'd suggest a few possible sites for relovation.

Forming a small "p" for the places you'll go, the Band plays "Fight On, Pennsylvania"

(Fight On, Pennsylvania)

And Now...
Crossing the Rubicon
Casting the die
Bewaring the Ides of March
Making our horses senators
Fiddling while Rome burns
Conquering the known world
Feeding Christians to the lions
Providing bread and circuses
Being assassinated by the praetorian guard
Triumvirating
Dressing up like Hercules
Building lots of aqueducts
And invading Transalpine Gaul
Because ALL roads lead to the Double Double Rotating P!

Run away, band, it's lead poisoning and overexpansion!

11/12/2005 -- Yale

Attention, shoppers: our special on aisle 8 is the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

(To the tune of L-O-V-E)
Y is for the way you'll yell in pain
A is all the fans we'll drive insane
L's that line of blue, that Princeton team will soon crash through
E is for the Elis falling, come and hear the tigers calling
Yale, the things that we will do to you
Yale, you know this pregame show is true
Yale won't last for long
Princeton can't go wrong
And now, we'll play your stupid song!

(Whiffenpoofs song)

And Now...
Ending world hunger
Saving the whales
Curing cancer
Single-handedly stopping the avian flu
Ending apartheid
Eliminating the budget deficit
Winning the war on terror
Saving the rainforest
Warding off global warming
Teaching children to read
Discovering extraterrestrial life
Fixing the hole in the ozone
Ending partisan politics
Bringing peace to the Middle East
Finding Osama
Preventing forest fires
And Purging the world of genocide
It's the Double-Double Rotating P!

(Going Back)

11/19/2005 -- Dartmouth

Hellooooo, it's the Princeton University Band!

(Cannon)

We'd like to tell you the tale of our beloved president, Sarah Unger. Hers is a story of vomitously uplifting success. She was born the child of poor sharecroppers in Oklahoma, the eldest of three beautiful, buxom, blonde daughters. At the age of 13, she eloped with the fabulously wealthy Chiyotaikai, who became offended when her breasts became larger than his. She was forced to flee to Chicago and work as a hooker, where she met her true love, Erik Williamson. No distance could keep them apart, and Sarah soon followed Erik to Princeton, and his instrument to the Band. Her lust for Williamson was only surpassed by her lust for power. She was quick to decimate her enemies, and slept her way straight to the top. Her run-off against heavy-favorite, Mr. Spikey-Glass, ended when he had to pull out suddenly due to a mysterious dioxin poisoning. When asked about her plans for the future, she responded (unintelligible muttering and squeaking).

Forming a little 'd' for dioxin, the Band says "I'll play what I want, Proimcess".

(Dartmouth fight song)

And now:
Better living through chemistry
I'm not that kind of girl
Not enough salt in the world
Ed Persia!
Ix-nay on the uth-tray
The youngers come but once a year
Miyabiyama
Give the people what they want
Bread and circuses
You be nice!
Kratville!
Mm mm mmmm mmmm?.
The shower to end all showers
As per usual
Allo, poppet!
DISHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
It's the Double-Double-Rotating Nice Girl Boots!

(Going Back)

Run away, Band! It's Sarah McUngerface, the Campus I-have-a-crush-on-every-boy Monster!