RUTGERS
September 28, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, The Princeton University Marching Band now presents its traditional salute to the undergraduate body.

The Band first pays tribute to the yearling class of 1967. Having cast off his ties to home and mother, Charlie Freshman embarks upon his new and rigorous academic life at Princeton, in loco parentis.

The Band now greets our stately neighbors from Rutgers, home of New Jersey's famed Sanitary Engineering Department. We see Joe Rutgers about to enroll in the new course, number eight-seventy, entitled "Sanitary Engineering, Problems 1 and 2." The Band advises Joe not to plunge headlong...into this course.

We now salute the Senior Class of 1964. As last year's graduating class, so this year's Seniors will be affected by the University's new furniture policy. Reluctant to part with the furniture they have man-handled with tender care for the past four years, the Seniors trust that Nassau Hall will have enough cents to reimburse them adequately.

PENN
October 12, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, The Princeton University Marching Band invites you to come along for a night at the flicks.

The Band arrives at the Pit just in time to see a newsreel of Princeton. Under Whig-Clio's new program of presenting great humanitarian figures, we find Vietnam's gracious Dragon Lady commenting on the heated controversy over her country. When asked what aspects of the crisis were most troublesome to her, Madame Nhu replied:

The first feature, entitled Freud, depicts young Sigmund suffering the hardships of a traumatic youth. As the Band outlines an id on the field, we see young Freud turn to his Mother and say:

Stimulated by the theme of the first movie, Princeton Charlie finds his interests focusing on other areas. As he snuggles closer to his date and puts his arm around her shoulder, she is overheard to say:

The final feature finds Irma la Douce enticing a prospective customer on the streets of Paris, with the words:

COLGATE
October 19, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Marching Band presents a non-biased survey of today's front-runners in the presidential race.

Although plagued by political criticism from all sides, incumbent John F. Kennedy remains confident that the strength of his family image will continue to attract women voters. Commenting on his daughter's front page antics, and the revised draft law, the President counts votes and exclaims:

The Tiger Band now salutes the dynamic Governor of New York. Although Rocky stands as the man of action for the liberal Republicans, it seems that his most astute political move has not wedded him to the heart of the nation. Commenting on Rocky's plight, the Democratic Donkey grins and says:

By far the most controversial figure in the Presidential race is Arizona's rabidly conservative Barry--Mother, Apple pie, Democracy--Goldwater. Forming a Goldwater platitude on the field, the Band is suprised to hear Barry come out with a concrete statement:

We focus on the South to find our fourth Presidential aspirant. Although a colorful figure, Ross Barnett is not considered a strong candidate. Questioned about the forces which keep him a dark horse in the race, Barnett singled out --

BROWN
November 2, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, The Princeton University Marching Band now presents a Tiger's-eye view of recent New York current events...

One of the nation's most controversial figures today is New York's public-spirited Joe Valacchi. Although hunted by his former comrades of the Cosa Nostra, Valacchi has fearlessly continued to expose the workings of the criminal underground. As the Band forms a stoll pigeon on the field, Valacchi is overheard to remark:

At the United Nations, we interview both the American ambassador, Adlai Stevenson, and Soviet ambassador, Zorin. Both men emphasize the world-influence of the Secretary General, and, when asked about his major diplomatic goal of the coming year, each exclaims:

Strolling down Broadway, the Tiger Band comes upon June Wilkinson, another well-known figure. We observe June playing in "Pajama Tops," a recent New York show:

Lastly, taking a trip into the low-rent district of suburban New York, the Band arrives in Providence, Rhode Island. Seeing a Brown undergraduate staring dejectedly at his environment, the Band asks what disturbs him. He sadly replies that:

HARVARD
November 9, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, in light of the most recent controversy over Harvard parties and the moral behavior of her students, the Tiger Band presents the inside story of a Harvard weekend date.

One essential ingredient of the Harvard party is, of course, the Harvard man. Early Saturday morning finds our cavalier gentlemen primping in front of his hand mirror as he says...

Fully regailed in his new set of tweeds, our Harvard man is now hastening over to the dormitories of a nearby girl's school, where he will will pick up his blind date. As he passes the first beatnik harem, Harvard Harry turns to his friend and asks...

Harvard Harry and his Cliffy arrive at the football game just in time to find the Harvard Band flitting from formation to formation. In a special tribute to our musical adversaries, the Tiger Band forms a pair of wings on the field.

Although criticized by the deans for his licentious behavious and promiscuous party atmosphere, Harvard Harry denies that he is morally degenerate. In fact, commenting on his weekend date, he assures the dean that...

YALE
November 16, 1963

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Marching Band.

A profoundly significant breakthrough has come in recent years from the fertile mind of science. We see the frustrated scientist who, after years of painful labor, has finally succeeded in perfecting the pill. Turning to his research assistant, he says:

The last two years have seen a rather subtle re-evaluation of Princeton's preceptorial system. Although the precept is not always the best method, it can be a valuable educational experience. However, precepts bog down when the participants are unprepared. As the Band forms a magacept on the field, we overhear a typical precept discussions.

Science and education is not the only changed facets of America. Traditional modes of human behavior also vary. Indeed, group conduct frequently assumes strange and suprising forms, as, for instance, last year's "Spring Madness." While some claimed that it was simply a manifestation of spring fever, others termed it "unbridled hooliganism." Whatever the cause of last May's festivities, we overheard glazed-eyed Princeton Charlie running up University Place gasping:

Last week, startled by the recent controversy over college parties and student morals, the dean of a prominent girls' school began to worry about the behavior of her girls. After polling her group of shy, retiring wall-flowers, she was heard to exclaim: