PENN
1971

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look, for the sake of Mom and Dad, at the Princeton experience.

The Band regrets that the freshman parents have been seated on the other side of the field. Appropriately, we form 'MOM' for them, noting that although some may see her differently, we feel that she has played a vital role in preparing the average Princetonian for college life.

The Band now offers a bottoms-up to the recently arrested outspoken cartoonist Al Capp -- one of Princeton's latest guest speakers. Like Lance Rentzel and Peter Yarrow before him, Al cast his conservatism and his coat to the wind while assuming the courageous stance of Fearless Fosdick. We wonder what the root of uncle Al's problem is. Did his Mammy Yokum? Did he believe Daisey May? Or was Li'l Abner too Little? Whatever the case, we form

a)

a bone of contention, or

b)

a Hairless Joe

Finally we would like to direct your attention to Arthur "Rag" Osborn, Jr., the founder of the Princeton Band -- the nation's first football band. Ever since the first group took the field in 1919, Princeton has led the way in performing the kind of shows and music that bands are famous for, such as John Philip Sousa's Semper Fidelis.

HAHVAHD
November 6, 1971

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Banned in Boston takes a long, hard look at famous Bostonians who didn't go to Harvard.

The Band first considers Paul Revere, who discovered that the British, after being holed up in town for so long, were finally getting up for the big push. Paul resolutely bore the brunt of alerting everyone about the forthcoming British breakthrough. Observing the profusion of British seamen in the Charles River, Paul cried out, "The British are coming!", and mounted his horse, only to find that

The Band next focuses on Bobby Orr, and observes that, although he did not attend Harvard, by his mark of fifty scores in a single season he made a record any Johnny Harvard would be hard-pressed to match. Forming

a)

a fast puck, or

b)

vice versa, or

c)

a record for a hard-pressed Johnny Harvard,

the Band salutes Bobby's fast moves and fancy stickwork.

Speaking of fancy stickwork, the Band now turns its attention to Ben Franklin and his lightning rod. Stifled by the Puritan atmosphere of prim old Boston, Ben left at the age of 14 for gay Philadelphia, "the City of Brotherly Love." Ben at first had trouble getting his kite up, even with plenty of tail. But Mother Nature, coming to the rescue, blew up a storm, and Ben had his electrifying climax while

YALE
November 11, 1971

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Princeton today.

The Band turns to the yellow torch of journalism, that Rosemary's Baby of the literary community, The Daily Princetonian. Because of recent movements in the bowels of 48 University Place, The Princetonian has been labelled Public Enema Number 1. We feel that a very heavy load has been dumped on The Prince. Forming either

a)

The Princetonian's rectitude, or

b)

the vast deferens between The Prince and other papers,

the Band salutes

By now the Band has lambasted nearly every facet of the Princeton community, and we are forced to train our attention on our own members. Inept at keeping a beat, Band members put in long hours developing their fingering and tounging technique. Still, the biggest problem, lousy rhythm, often leads to trouble making time and abortive performances. Forming itself on the field, the Princeton Band salutes its members: 20 girls and 76 tromboners.

Now, the Princeton University Marching 96, complete with managers, color guard, pom-pom girls, cheerleaders, mascot and school spirit wishes to join the faculty, alumni, undergraduates and friends in honoring retiring President Robert F. Goheen.

During President Goheen's distinguished career a great deal has changed at Princeton -- including Tiger Band halftime shows. We now salute President Goheen by displaying a new side of the Band with the

And now ladies and gentlemen, please join in a locomotive for President Goheen.

DARTMOUTH - UNCENSORED
1971 ???

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band rings up the long hard problems of sex and censorship at Dartmouth College.

At Dartmouth there is a staunch defender of the straight and narrow path. Although elsewhere men have seen new vistas opened and spread before their eyes, Dean Thaddeus Seymour has taken in hand young members of his institution, and explained the dangers of dallying in forbidden fields. We salute this opponent of loose livers, weak knees, and risque jokes by forming his initials on the field and hearing his remark...

Under old Thad, a marvelous spirit of cooperation and harmony can be felt at Dartmouth. Aside from resentment towards the Indians who trapped all the available beaver years and years ago in New Hampshire, and are thus blamed for the deplorable social conditions, Dartmouth men really do get a long swell together. Forming a long swell together, we salute the comraderie by playing the new Beatle's hit...

Actually, coeducation, if not the twentieth century, has come to Hanover, but inexplicably continues to face opposition from a majority of Danny Dartmouth's buddies. Sure that her opponents have nothing but limp excuses, Dottie Dartmouth nonetheless fears her male supporters will soften their stand, thinking themselves to be over the hump. We in the Band earnestly feel for Dottie, urging her to "grin and bare it," as we form a hard and fast supporter for coeducation on the field.

Finally, the Band sees a better role for Dottie in the future. Sure that Dartmouth will eventually come of age, we remind Dottie that with Thanksgiving vacation so close at hand, she has a chance to travel home and see (eat?) a different kind of turkey across the table before the bleak New Hampshire winter sets in. Thus we close our show with visions of Dottie's upcoming roll with